Monday, 16 June 2008

The Pointless Platitude

My first job was with a large law firm in the city. At some point during my first day I was taken up to the top floor and introduced to the Chairman. I perched nervously on my chair, as he, from behind a large and expensive mahogany desk, expounded the philosophy of his organisation.
'Think of us as a large supportive extended family', he told me and warming to his theme, he finished with: 'If you ever need to talk, then my door is always open.'
The Chairman, fountain pen in hand, swiftly returned to his paperwork. I took this as my cue to leave. As I did so, he looked up briefly from his file and said,
'Oh, and Scarlet . . . close the door behind you on your way out.'
Realising his contradiction, he caught my eye and we laughed together; within this shared moment we both knew that the only time we would ever communicate again would be via a polite nod at the Christmas knees up and a limp handshake at the annual Cheese and Wine party.
Which brings me to the point of this post: Why do people use these meaningless platitudes? Is it to demonstrate that they are warm friendly individuals; compassionate souls who can empathise and feel your pain? Men use them to get into your knickers and not to your mind. Trust me on this. From experience I find that people seldom ever want to listen to your woes, they have far too many of their own. If you need to talk you are much better off finding a professional such a priest, shrink or passing pole dancer.
I never say it, not that I wouldn't listen, but hell, when you want to talk I could be on the loo having a crap . . . and I really don't like being interrupted whilst doing the important things in life . . .


Patsy said...

Hey sweetie, you know you can call on this passing pole-dancer anytime you need to offload... just don't complain when I need to do the same... I don;t get that "contradiction" joke in your most recent blog darling... can you explain it for your poor dumb blonde friend? kisses and hugs xxx

scarlet-blue said...

He told me his door was always open, then told me to close the door behind me, therefore contradicting himself!
Are you okay??? What have you been up to??!!!

Patsy said...

Oh, yeah... I see it now... ha ha! Sorry sweetie. It was a bit early in the day for me though... xxx