Newspaper headlines warn of bleak times ahead: job losses, the price of food and fuel going up, house prices going down, knife crime, and it's not going to stop raining this summer. Crikey, I feel like I should be speaking in a clipped black n'white BBC accent and providing a list of money saving and mood lifting tips. Time to tighten belts; embrace charity shop chic and start sharing the bath water . . . . or shower with a friend. Time to get an allotment, grow your own spuds, rent out a room, and start shopping at Lidl. One thing I do know though, is how to make an attractive outfit from nothing more than a plain hessian sack [as opposed to a fancy one], shoe polish, a careful selection of perforated bottle tops and a ribbed condom. Who needs designer frocks? Eat your heart out Gok Wan; I am the mistress of thrift. Trust me . . . it'll look good . . .
Oh, what do I know? I'm a blow-up doll . . .