Friday, 29 August 2008

Avon U by Ungaro

I've been quite taken with the new perfume ad from Avon - Avon U by Ungaro. It features Avon Global Ambassador, Reese Witherspoon, looking stunning in a sheath of peach satin. She takes an old fashioned elevator (like the one in Fatal Attraction - where Glenn Close has her way with Micheal Douglas) up to the roof-top of a very tall building. It's dark and a little too breezy because her hair is getting all messed up (she should have gone to L'Oreal). Here she is joined by a tall dark attractive man in a dinner jacket, looking nonchalantly shaken but not too stirred. Perhaps he has lost a mint in the neighbouring Casino because his bow tie is hanging loosely around his collar; or perhaps he has a box of Milk Tray stuffed down his trousers, he is that type of guy. As the couple look longingly at each other a voice over cuts across the scene and says: 'What happens next is up to U to decide' . . . . Well obviously the Cactus Kid turns up with his underage pregnant girlfriend and he shares out bottles of 'Oasis' before they all fly off in a passing helicopter. Several years later they crash land into the penultimate episode of 'Lost' where they swap partners at least four times, have six children, one porcupine and an African Violet between them. On day 3,046 they are all evicted but still manage to live happily ever after, thanks to the exclusive magazine deals with 'Hello', 'OK', 'Gardener's World' and 'The People's Friend'. Then a nice Avon lady rings my doorbell, I let her in and she sells me a pink heart shaped 'Soap-on-a-Rope' . . .

I need to get out more.

9 comments:

Gorilla Bananas said...

You have a vivid imagination. I think the chocolates might melt if he hid them in his trousers.

scarlet-blue said...

Well . . . what are tongues for?!
Sx

Gorilla Bananas said...

A very naughty remark. I have sent you an e-mail.

~Static~ said...
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~Static~ said...
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~Static~ said...

LOL! Just LOL. Hilarious.

Although I think Greasy Dinnerspoon (Reese Witherspoon) and her Mr. Dark and Handsome "nonchalantly shaken but not too stirred" eventually end up in a trailer park with 5.3 screaming snot-nosed rugrats each spaced in age by EXACTLY 9 months.

Due to Greasy's drinking and tobacco chewing problem (she is from the deep south mind you) and Mr. DaH's physical abuse patterns, they wind up in couples therapy where they in turn discover they are both gay and begin seeing Rosie O'Donnell and Richard Simmons respectively.

They live happily ever after as gay marriage activists (good) and doing cheesy nude homoerotic work out videos (not so good, well what did you expect from Mr. Dark and Handsome?)... The End.

scarlet-blue said...

That you Static . . . that is an interesting turn of events . . . especially the cheesy bits! I shall try to work all of this into my next post . . .
Sx

. . . oh, and Mr GB . . . I can be naughtier . . .

dannyboy said...

"Well . . . what are tongues for?!"
I wonder what Mrs Pouncer would have to say about coments like that?

scarlet-blue said...

She's a game old bird Danny . . . she's far worse than me!