I didn't follow my Auntie Pam into advertising. I was never destined to live out a life of glamour in revolving restaurants. I loved hearing her stories about going out to dinner at the Post Office Tower restaurant, the ever changing view of London and eating prawn cocktails. My Dad promised to take me, but he never did. And then it got blown up by the IRA in the seventies and the restaurant closed in 1980.
I have too much personal integrity to be able to sell/market something that I don't believe in . . . that, and my Auntie Pam being against nepotism . . . damn her to this day . . .
Today I have a bone to pick with L'oreal: As if Eva Longoria, Penelope Cruz, Linda Evangelista and Andie McDowell use home hair dye kits. I can just see Eva on her own, in her bathroom, struggling to cover every strand of hair with stinky gloop and dripping it all over her cream shag pile carpet. Honestly, does L'oreal seriously believe that women are gullible enough to believe this crap? Yeah, right, I'm sure Eva always nips into Boots during her lunch hour to buy a £12.99 box of hair dye whenever she needs to liven up her locks . . .
And another thing . . . if all these anti-aging creams do what they say they do, with their pumperpeptides - or whatever - then surely the need for botox, acid peels and major pull-back surgery should be diminishing . . . shouldn't it? And what is a flipping peptide? Scientific gobbledygook . . . or gobbledygloop.
Right, I'm off to the greasy cafe on the corner for breakfast then . . .