Monday, 15 September 2008

Fighting Temptation?

I've not tried the new Special K Mini-Breaks, but how can a bag of wheaty, oatie, low-cal, low sugar, lumps of nothing, really compete with an extra large packet of full frontal chocolate digestive biscuits? This ad is set in an office environment and we are shown a group of attractive working women sitting at their desks looking professional and well manicured. Unfortunately they are being distracted from their work by saucers of chocolate biscuits and bags of sweets. We see one of these distressed women gently caressing a chocolate biscuit with her finger; her resistance is palpable as she frowns and bites her bottom lip almost drawing blood. None of these women look as though the odd suck on a dunked digestive would do them any harm . . . so why the traumatised torture brought on by the presence of all this sugary snackery? And why are these Mini-Breaks specifically targeting women? Are men impervious to a snack attack during the working day? Do men coyly avoid biscuit temptation whilst being busy and business-like? Do they heck as like . . .

I've never eaten a packet of biscuits or a box of chocolates in one sitting, not ever. I don't have a sweet tooth; too much sugar makes me sick and hyperactive . . . . and I know what's perfect for nibbling on, so I'm much more likely to be found filling myself up on savoury nibbles and salty snacks . . . but not so much that I gag.

17 comments:

Gorilla Bananas said...

I think a lot of women are scared of getting big bottoms, Miss Scarlet, which is not a phobia we gorillas suffer from. The ones that already have big bums have nothing to fear, of course. Do you like mini poppodums, Miss Scarlet? I should like to sit you on my knee and feed them to you by hand.

scarlet-blue said...

Well . . . that's the best offer I've had all day . . . !

the beast of berkeley hunt said...

A good tip is to start the day with at least a half bottle of vodka. That way you don't give toss about getting fat.

:: Wendy :: said...

Most itneresting and astute analysis. It reminds me why I dont use a TV, I'd much rather suck my peparami at leisure that having sickly-sick-inducing chocolate uninvited invade my tasty little home.

scarlet-blue said...

Hello Mr Hunt, this is of course excellent advice. I think it would stop me worrying about a lot of things . . .

Yes Wendy, I'd like to know who the chocolate terrorist is as well . . . if you see any women looking fraught and chewing off their lipstick, then you know what's going on . . . give 'em a bag of crisps.
Sx

BEAST said...

Most of the inveterate 'dieters' in my place of work would guzzled the mini breaks then by way of celebration of there dietary virtuosity would guts all the chocolate biscuits.....then drone on all afternoon about how fat they are and why they can't understand why . Its the modern disease Miss S which I am sure a slender thing like yourself has no truck with

scarlet-blue said...

You are quite right beast. These low-cal flavourless lumps of nothing are just going to make you eat more, so you may as well eat what you fancy in the first place.
If I want a sausage I'll eat a sausage!

Kevin Musgrove said...

Oh yes, Beast...

"Oh I shouldn't. I'm on a diet..."
"I'll just have a few"
"Oh they're not fattening"
"They're very moreish"
"How many points are these?"
"I don't know how I put on those six pounds at Weightwatchers."

Let them eat gala pies.

EmmaK said...

I've never eaten a packet of biscuits or a box of chocolates in one sitting, not ever.
I deduce from this that you have never gotten stoned and got chronic munchies?

Mrs Pouncer said...

Quite right, Emmak!
Scarlie, have you never stood,begging and pleading with the stony-faced nightworker behind the bullet-proof glass at the Murco garage at 3.00 am, for half-a-dozen Lion Bars and a Battenburg?
Honestly! You young people.

Mrs Pouncer said...

Sorry, Scarlet. Can I talk to Kev?

Kevin! Gala pie!!! Is that the one with the huge cylindrical egg? Oh Keven, you have la nourriture juste for every possible occasion!

Glamourpuss said...

I think most men don't fret about every calorie that passes their lips so they're not worthy targets of low-cal, cardboard snacks.

Puss

scarlet-blue said...

I like pork pies . . .I like the jelly bits . . . and the pastry. You've made me hungry Kevin.

Emma and Mrs P: What are Crunchy Nut Cornflakes for????! And of course you can chat with Kevin.

Puss, you are quite right and us women shouldn't fret either.
Sx

Kate Lord Brown said...

Hmm - I've just had to come up with a good (but clean) explanation why 'chocolate salty balls' are funny for a six year old who should not have been watching South Park on a playdate at a friend's house. Like everything in life - quality not quantity. Dark, rich, bitter - the children won't touch it and a little goes a long way.

scarlet-blue said...

Ah Kate . . . I shouldn't have 'chocolate salty balls' rolling around my mind at this time of night! But I agree quality over quantity in everything.
Sx

having my cake said...

Scarlet-blue, are you sure you're not a younger version of me? Great post :) I too have frequently made similar observations about the 'whole packet of chocolate biscuits in one go' scenario. And I adore pork pies because of the aspic and the pastry. Whilst most women extol the virtues of licking melted chocolate off an erect penis, Im far more intrigued by the prospect of doing the same with a nice onion gravy. Far more suited to any type of sausage :)

scarlet-blue said...

It sounds as if we are related . . . 'aspic' . . . even the word makes me dribble . . .
Sx