I may have found myself a potential new career and a way of earning some extra cash to fight off the credit crunch blues. I have been offered the position of 'Product Placement Operative' at my local Morrisons store. My first shift starts tonight at 6pm and as you can imagine, I'm quite excited.
The Global Ambassador for Morrisons is Essex girl Denise Van Outen, so I will be in good company then. In the Ads Denise leads an army of 'Z' list celebrities, and Lulu, in a trolley trundle up stream, down dale and across valley in search for something fresh to eat. You may have better luck at a supermarket Denise, and you won't get your shoes wet. Denise tells us that she wants it fast and she wants it fresh and she wants it straight from the farmer and she's willing to parachute into a field to get it. She's probably breaking some kind of countryside code by worrying the sheep and scaring the crows, but what the hell, she's got her mitts on a train load of freshly picked apples and she's now on her way to gather plums.
So who will be the next celeb to succumb to signing a contract with Morrisons? My money's on Dame Helen Mirren. Still clad in her bikini she'll emerge from the surf, the spitting image of Honey Ryder in Dr No, and with regal poise and determination she'll trundle with her trolley over sand dune and through rock pool, stopping every now and then to seek out cockles and muscles, several crab sticks and a fresh fish finger for her tea.