Tuesday, 7 October 2008

Break the Mould



The VO5 ‘Break the Mould’ campaign has been running for some time now. The latest ad in this series is set in an army camp where new recruits are having their heads shaved . . . . that is until the barber, Terry, is surreptitiously passed a pot of VO5 extreme styling crème. Terry studied ‘Directional Hair Design’ and ‘Pubic Topiary’ at Southend Tech; he had dreams of opening his own salon, until an unpleasant accident involving perming fluid, straightening irons and his Mum’s best friend, Pam, scuppered his plans. Pam still walks with a limp and can no longer wear shorts. To escape the ensuing controversy, Terry fled Southend to make a fresh start at the army recruitment centre in Mid-Glamorgan.
Terry, skilled in all things ‘hair’, realises that his job will be done much quicker, and he can be off up the pub much sooner, if he ditches the clippers and uses the styling crème instead. So now we are looking at a group of attractive young models with shaved heads, who are feeling a draught round their ears, and a group of attractive young models who’ve had their hair slightly ruffled. According to VO5, who know nothing of Terry’s tragic past, this vaguely ruffled look is called ‘extreme styling’ and it will set you apart from your peers because you have ‘broken the mould’ through its usage.
This is not ‘extreme styling’. Those of us who can remember ‘Hard as Rock’ hairspray know all there is to know about ‘extreme styling’. We used to impale pigeons and other small mammals on our spikes. It is worth mentioning, in these credit crunching times, that all you need for ‘extreme styling’ can be found in and around the home; avoid perming fluid and straightening irons, but try getting creative with food colouring, sugar water, egg white or that perennial favourite: spunk . . . . just don’t get caught in the rain . . . . and remember, true individuals wear hats.

25 comments:

Gorilla Bananas said...

The ultimate extreme style is "the rhinoceros". You mix the hair with concrete and pull it into a deadly horn. Did you see Terry's face when he took the gel onto his fingers? Just where was he planning to rub it?

scarlet-blue said...

Honest GB, 'Hard as Rock' hairspray gave you hair like a rhino's horn . . . can't get anything like it today.

Very sleazy is our Tel, isn't he?
Sx

Kevin Musgrove said...

One of my friends has had her hair cut apparently from the inside for the past dozen years and she looks exceedingly good. (Thank God for anonymity: she'd be counting the cutlery if she knew I was paying her compliments)

'Hard as Rock' hairspray was for people with money. We used Airfix glue.

PI said...

We had a phase when we would rinse our hair in beer; I think it gave it more control. Mind you those were the days when we were told if we washed our hair when we had the curse we would go mad. Honestly!

scarlet-blue said...

Kev: Hello my sweet, how did your friend have her hair cut from the inside? Or am I having a 'blonde' moment? And why didn't I think of 'airfix glue'? Damn . . .

Pi: Beer was supposed to make hair shiny, I never tried it though . . . and I think there still is 'Linco Beer Shampoo' . . . smells of beer though . . .
I also remember the strange myths surrounding 'The Curse'! Lots of girls walking around with very grubby hair . . . greasy or beer stained!

Sx

inkspot said...

You forgot golden syrup.

The whole hairdressing business has always bewildered me; Mme Inkspot has it covered, though when I mentioned your spunk suggestion her reaction was marked.

On the other hand, I'm certainly in the market for a post about shoes.

scarlet-blue said...

Oh bugger me, Inky . . . my list is growing, I've now missed two classic styling products: Airfix Glue and Golden Syrup . . .

I can do shoes . . . I love shoes . . .
Sx

Mrs Pouncer said...

You cannot style with Golden Syrup. Quite the contrary. It just slides about and creates puddles. Hopeless.
I am ashamed to admit that I go to Bruges every six weeks to see that gorgeous old Frisor, William de Ridder, the only man I could ever trust with my coiffure. I remember the first time I met him; I was a young bride, and he plunged his hands deep into my graduated bob and husked "you have the most beautiful hair". From that day on, I loved and adored him with all my heart and soul.

Kate Lord Brown said...

Hard Rock, household bleach - amazing we have any hair left. Perhaps Terry comes from the 'Something about Mary' school of hairdressing - amazing root lift.

scarlet-blue said...

Mrs P: I would love to hear more about your wedding day, I bet the reception was festooned with celebs . . . what did you wear?

Kate: I used to be so proud of my back-combed mass of matted mauve hair . . . If only 'Something About Mary' had been released back then . . . I'm sure my hair would have benefited from a squirt of protein . . .

Sx

BEAST said...

The ending to the add makes me howl when the incredibley fey male model ruins his moody 'butch' persona by going all limp and girly in the final giggling shot by the jeep.
Terry does look extremely sleazy , I would not feel at all comfortable with him fondling my follicles.

Glamourpuss said...

I remember Hard As Rock hairspray - happy days...

Today's comodified youth know nothing of the individuality bestowed by a pair of crimping irons and a can of Hard As Rock!

Puss

scarlet-blue said...

Beast: Terry looks really familiar . . . I swear I've seen him on a sitcom . . . Italian? It's bugging me . . . Anyhow, none of these models look anything like army recruits . . . I think they're 'X Factor' rejects.

Puss: What did we do to the ozone layer?! I wish the commodified youth would take advantage of being young and get creative.

Sx

:: Wendy :: said...

/hats, yes hats, oh HATS, totally Hats. its like a product-bypass without surgery or regular top-up investments.

I'm told that not washing your hair for a couple of days is like putting natural product on it, only the scent is a little less pungent.

I used to use beer and eg-hite just becuase the social event of the application as such a scream, especially if the beer as cold...

scarlet-blue said...

Hello Wendy: I love hats. I'm thinking of trying wigs as well . . . what do you reckon?

Cold Beer?

Sx

Can Bass 1 said...

My God! I had no idea.

KAZ said...

Have you tried condensed milk?
If there's any left over it's great for sticking bathroom tiles back on the wall as well.

scarlet-blue said...

Mr Bass: I have no idea either. As you can tell!

Kaz: Condensed milk! I should have thought of that. It has all the correct sticky properties needed for styling and it will probably turn the hair green as well. An excellent two in one product. Stick and Glow!

librarylizzie said...

Linco Beer Shampoo....didn't that actually come in a plastic beer barrel shaped bottle (yellow if I remember correctly)...or is the booze playing havoc with my happy pills again?

scarlet-blue said...

Hello Lizzie, yes I believe it did. I know I wanted it and my Mum wouldn't let me have it . . . she once used washing up liquid on me instead of shampoo . . . I think those times may be upon us again!
Sx

:: Wendy :: said...

Scarlet, definitely try hats, and wigs, they are very versataile and stylish. You don't have to stay-in if you are washing your hair (wig) because you can just pop it in the machine and go on out in a hat. Hats and wigs clearly signified the increasing freedom of women much more than hair-dye and anti-wrinkly cream.

scarlet-blue said...

I can buy one of those black Cleopatra wigs, can't I? I've always fancied one of those. Thank-you Wendy . . . And I already love hats too.

Sx

Kevin Musgrove said...

I do like to see women in picture hats.

Practically Joe said...

I go with the natural spikey look.
No products needed ... just a wet finger and an electrical outlet.

scarlet-blue said...

Kev, what is a 'picture hat'?

Joe, your suggestion also had the advantage of waking me up for the day . . . but it did leave me looking a little startled . . . the fire brigade weren't best pleased either.

SX