Thursday, 4 December 2008

Teeth

Apparently this is the first ever advert to be broadcast on British TV . . .



I haven't been to the dentist in ages and I should go really because I have a compacted wisdom tooth that needs pulling out. It's been pushing through for the last nine years now. There is a flap of skin over it . . . I can feel it with my finger and when I run my tongue over it. Definitely hard. I don't like bits getting stuck under the flap so I mouthwash everyday to keep it clean. And I brush for tingles.

I've recently found this dentist online, but I think he's more interested in wonky teeth and mine are quite straight. I don't think he can help me with my protrusion.
Anyhow, if you have wonky teeth . . . maybe he can help you.

43 comments:

Dave said...

I was going to ask for help with my protrusion.

But then I thought better of it.

Dave said...

Mind you, that was before I read your comments at the dentist's site. I'm sure a photo of your teeth would help.

PI said...

I remember her so it was in the fifties. I did Macleans toothpaste. I have an appointment with the hygienist this afternoon. Good luck with yours.

Jade of the Jungle said...

Dentists I'm fine with (have had 3 wisdom teeth removed, which might explain a lot) but my dental hygenist scares the living daylights out of me. She is Russian, very stout and very assertive.

Gyppo Byard said...

When my wisdom teeth had to be removed, it was discovered that the roots had grown so out of control they looped around the main nerves deep inside the jaw, meaning that simply pulling them out would have paralysed my mouth.

So instead I had to have them out under general anaesthetic, by way of the surgeon peeling my gums back and slicing my jawbone apart with a circular saw. I lived on soup for the next 6 weeks...

Word ver: conkings, a mechanical term for extraneous bits on your car whose sole function is to make a worrying noise, leading you to hand more money over to your local garage.

KAZ said...

You certainly seem to be getting on well with that dentist.
But how dare he suggest that you might have 'improper angulation or orientation'?

BEAST said...

Did you know that wisdom teeth can migrate round your body like shrapnel......

Crabtree said...

Fortunately that wisdom does not measure itself with the teeth!
The English pub nostalgic style:)

scarlet-blue said...

Dave: We all need a little help to make the protrusions go down, but we mustn't make them sore. I have ointment.

Pat: I should go shouldn't I? But I know it's going to mean an operation. Scotch helps..

Jade: No, no, no... I don't think I could cope with an assertive stout Russian... you are very brave. The thing is that I am a coward, and the dentist kind of has to prise my mouth open with a coathanger. It's pitiful.

Gyppo: Yes Gyppo, this is exactly what's happened to me isn't it? Let's face it, after nine years the roots have probably made their way to Australia...

Kaz: Yes, he's a cheeky dentist; fancy suggesting that all us brits have improper mouths...
I would have a lovely mouth if it wasn't for this unwanted protrusion.

Beastie: I have a corn on the ball of my foot... do you think the two are connected? Oh my God... I wish I hadn't written this post....

Crabtree: The funny thing is I do genuinely have less teeth than average...
La chose drôle est que je ne possèdent réellement moins de dents que la moyenne ...

Sx

Donn Coppens said...

Far be it for me to recite the litany of mean spirited ruminations about the three Dentists who are doing their very best to improve the world famous toothy grin of the average citizen in the UK.

Unlike our North American obssession with procuring straight white perfect smiles at any cost, the overgrown gappy grins of the British Commoners, as seen in any caricature, are a welcome wonderment and a true sign of self actualisation, humility, and tolerance. Those equine sized smiles lend an immeasurable touch of folksiness to a chance meeting with a bootblack or rock star.

Upon meeting Bowie backstage on the Tonight Show Don Rickles said "I didn't know whether to kiss him or give him a lump of sugar!"

All the money that we Colonials waste on our teeth could be better spent on Ale or battered fish bits.

I was dumbfounded to learn that Dentists had recently lost their #1 position of professionals who voluntarily terminate themselves with extreme prejudice, a ranking that they have held for decades, to the Psychiatrist.

It still costs a small fortune to even have a simple cleaning..Dentalism is still not sanctioned by our National Healthcare..still suspect I suppose...why do Dentists need to waste 8 years in University learning about the rest of the body if they're only going to spend the next 40 years mucking about the mouth?
Quite perplexing really?

In any event the current cult of celebrity demands that we have movie star smiles at the ready for our Warholian 15 minutes of fame.."I'm ready for my close-up now Mr De Mille!"

wv gomists..HA!

EmmaK said...

That dentist seemed a bit slow on the uptake. You might need to be a bit more direct darling ie: "If you fix my teeth for nothing I will let you have a quick flash of my breasts."

scarlet-blue said...

Mr Coppens: Us Brits are creatures of extremes. We either stay white and pasty with yellow wonky teeth or we spray ourselves bright orange and go for perma-white, mildew proof molars... But yes, we are cute.

Emma: I tried the flashing my tits routine... he didn't seem to be buying it... I need a new angle...

Sx

scarlet-blue said...

Why oh why do I have biscuit crumbs in my ear..?

Dave said...

Will you rub the ointment in for me?

MJ said...

Sing along...

Lemming, Lemming ... Lemming of the BDA .. Lemming, Lemming ... Lemming of the BD ...Lemming of the BD ... BD, BDA.

scarlet-blue said...

Dave: I will administer ointment, so long as you don't bite my fingers.

MJ Just for you then. Here's Lemming.

Sx

Dave said...

Biting isn't likely.

Practically Joe said...

I have practically wisdom teeth.

CyberPete said...

I haven't gotten any of my wisdom teeth yet. Thank god. I'd be too scared to have them pulled.

Do you know how much that commercial cost to air, it's quite long.

scarlet-blue said...

Dave: Well that's a relief!

Joe: You and me both.

Pete: They had more to say in those days and air time wasn't as valuable then... I imagine, off the top of my head...

Sx

MJ said...

Re: The Lemming video.

Ta! And with bonus Portuguese subtitles!

CyberPete said...

That makes sense, but still. Wasn't it back then that 9 out of 10 moviestars used Lux?

WV: dasock (tee-hee!)

scarlet-blue said...

MJ: The portuguese subtitles are a nice touch aren't they?!

Pete: Lux has fallen a long way since those glorious soapy days. Ousted by the likes of Dove, Simple and Imperial Leather...

Frobisher said...

Imperial Leather rocks.

I had all four of my wisdom teeth out in one go, all impacted (growing sideways into the other teeth) - I was ill for weeks, looked like a hampster and lost 1 stone in weight!

The Dotterel said...

My best friend's a dentist. And he's still in the NHS. Would you like his number?

CyberPete said...

I agree with Frobi. Imperial Leather rocks!

I think I'll go buy some today.

scarlet-blue said...

Frobi: Yep, you can work yourself up into a right lather with Imperial Leather...

Dotts: Information like this is gold-dust Mr Dotts. I will be visiting you later today...

Pete: You like a bit of lather as well then...?

I will be out for lunch for most of today but will be back soon...

Sxx

BEAST said...

Frobisher , I see you have worked hard to regain that lost weight :-)

Miss Scarlet , lets hope the dentististry skills are better than his social ones.....hes a bit of an arse

CyberPete said...

Leather and Lather

who needs leather and lace.

WV Pubco

BEAST said...

Oh lord , after a telling off from Miss Scarlet , I have to correct the impression that I called Mr Dotterels National Health Dentist friend an arse....I didnt mean that dentist , I meant the american one.
Its the MANFLU :-(

Kate Lord Brown said...

Does your jaw click Miss Scarlet? I'm just the same - these things swell up, come and go.

Haven't dentists got the highest suicide rate of any profession?

Charlotte said...

SCARLET: I used to have a wisdom tooth like that as well, slightly impacted with a flap over it.

I managed to find an NHS dentist on the Old Kent Road who whipped it out for £40. (Can't remember the name of the dentist, sorry, but he did Saturday morning appointments as I wanted it seen to on a non working day).

scarlet-blue said...

Pete: Are you all frothed up yet?

Beastie: I think this proves that you do indeed have manflu... I'm bringing Vic...

Kate: Yes!!! My jaw does click!! It got stuck once and I have to do special exercises to loosen it. I've had loads of X-rays as well! Goodness me, a fellow clicker!

Sx

Gorilla Bananas said...

Haha, Beast, that's what happens if you jump into a thread calling people arses! Swallow your humble pie with lashings of crow sauce! In my experience, there is nothing a dentist can do that a vet can't do better.

scarlet-blue said...

Charlotte: Hello and welcome! Sorry, you snuck in there when I wasn't looking.. I will do some reserch on Old Kent Road dentists and see what I come up with. Thank-you. I may also have to pluck up some courage! The damn tooth has become like an old friend now!

Mr GB: I think we're going to have to forgive Mr Beastie; he is poorly and has a skanky duvet.

Sx

Gadjo Dilo said...

Scarly, I'm happy to have arrived in a country where bad breath is positively fashionable, so I haven't required the services of a hygenist in ages.

I like PI's comment "I remember her so it was in the fifties. I'm the same - I realise now that nothing happened in the nineties that I can recall!

scarlet-blue said...

Gadj: I'm amazed my teeyh are as good as they are, considering... perhaps I am lucky because I don't drink coffee or red wine and I don't eat many sweets.
It's true now you mention it, I only remember the eighties... and a bit of the seventies...
Sx

scarlet-blue said...

Of course I meant teeth...
Sx

~Static~ said...

I had a problem with one of my wisdom teeth. I thought for sure it was compacted as it didn't break through the gum as easily as my others had.

At the time, I was broke and didn't have insurance. So I had to suck it up, bought a box of powdered aspirin packets, to kill the pain. Made a paste to cover the area, and eventually a small pocket formed -- which thankfully didn't abcess.

It popped and a lovely concoction of pus and blood partially filled my mouth which I promptly spat out.
Rinsed my mouth w/ peroxide and water regularly. A few days later I could feel the crown poking through.

To date I still have all my wisdom teeth. And not one cavity ever. =)

Say does this doctor fix wonky eyes. I've got wonky eyes.

Dave said...

My jaw used to click, until my dentist told me that dislocating it (which is what it was) would weaken it, so I should try to avoid doing it deliberately.

It's hardly done so for years - but then it clicked last week, and still doesn't feel right to chew on.

scarlet-blue said...

Static: Oh my, you are brave! Sounds like you had an abcess... I will be over shortly, perhaps you can sort me out?

Dave: We are all falling apart! It seems that Kate, You and I are the victims of clicky jaw syndrome and everybody else has manflu... it's a sad and sorry state of affairs...

Sx

Ginro said...

Clicky jaw syndrome is a sign of stress. I had to wear a gum shield for a while to stop it happening it was so bad.
And beware having a general anaesthetic at the dentist. I had one in order to have two wisdom teeth removed. Let's just say that I shouldn't have been able to tell the dentist afterwards which order he took the teeth out. To slightly underestimate it - Ouch.

scarlet-blue said...

Ginro: I doubt I will pluck up the courage to get it done. Apparently if the op goes wrong it can paralyse your bottom lip [this is heresay] - which wouldn't be a good look for a sax player!
I tooth grind as well - another sign of stress...
Sx