Sunday, 25 January 2009

A Call of Nature... [Jukebox Monday]

I saw a man relieving himself in a bush today. I was taken by surprise as he'd parked his 4x4 on a bend and I nearly crashed into him. Anyhow, this got me pondering; perhaps car manufacturers could think about 'in-car' toilet facilities, I mean they could just pop it under a seat couldn't they?
And quite frankly I don't really want to watch the boys go by if they're all piddling into bushes...

39 comments:

Madame DeFarge said...

One is tempted to ask whose bush it was. But that might lead to inappropriate mental meanderings. Boys are bad at such things. they should really carry some small handy bottle in the front seat for the purpose.

Geoff said...

If wee wee was fuel the boys could fill their tanks up whenever they felt the need.

Come on, you scientists. Sort it out!

BEAST said...

I am not sure an in car commode would go down too well . I hope the man wasnt watering your newly sculpted bush miss scarlet

scarlet-blue said...

Madame D: I live in an area where bushes are badly abused and frowned upon.
It's okay, it wasn't my bush this time.
Sx

scarlet-blue said...

Geoff: Quite right. Human waste must be made into a bio-fuel... it makes perfect sense.

Mr Beastie: If it had been my freshly teased bush, he would have known about it.

Sx

Kevin Musgrove said...

Pish tush! The chappie was applying a natural composting accelerant to the leafmould, the better to make it beak down into useful nutrient.

Ponita said...

He needs one of those portable pee bags that MJ was going on about last summer.

scarlet-blue said...

Kev: I know Kev... but he was parked round a bend, just off a busy road... could have been carnage... bio-fuel everywhere...

Ponita: Now I should have realised that MJ would have already found the perfect solution to this problem...

Sx

xl said...

There is a DIY partial solution to in-car facilities: trucker bombs.

Gorilla Bananas said...

I don't think bushes thrive on that kind of watering. The hungry roots of a cactus plant would have been more appreciative. Weren't you tempted to honk him, Miss Scarlet?

scarlet-blue said...

Mr XL: Mowers 'hit them, they explode' Ick.

Well, I rest my case, this proves there is a need for 'in-car' toilet facilities.

Mr Bananas: I was tempted to stop and have a word... just to see the look on his face when confronted by a wee woman such as myself...

Sx

PI said...

The French do it all the time - quite openly and in the days of the Rajh it was de rigeur to direct the ladies to the bathroom and the gentlemen to the garden. It's the non washing of hands that I abhor

CyberPete said...

Yes as Ponita pointed out MJ already posted the solution to the problem last summer.

Clearly he wasn't an Informaniac regular. The shame!

Super Nova said...

I once saw on "Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous" and Rolls Royce that had a built in toilet under the seat. The height or luxury or the basest of inventions? Still haven't decided.

ChrisV82 said...

Perhaps he should have wandered a bit further into the foliage before letting out a stream of urine. If not, why bother peeing on the bush? He could have just pissed all over the road.

Gadjo Dilo said...

I'm with Kevin. I believe that a bale of straw regularly pissed upon makes great compost material. Never mind bio-fuel and scientists, call in Bob Flowerdew.

Dave said...

I couldn't possibly join in this discussion. So I'm leaving.

I hope the standard has improved when I return at the weekend.

*wanders out to improve the quality of his compost heap*

mutleythedog said...

To raise the tone a little - one of your 'pin ups' seemed to have a washing line full of tampax... could this really be a good idea?

KAZ said...

'Relieving' and 'piddling' - two more for my list.
It wasn't a problem when we got milk in bottles.

Julian Meteor said...

I get STAGE fright when I try to wee in places as publis as roadsides.
I SALUTE that man!!!

Daphne Wayne-Bough said...

At least you don't have to walk past men pissing into urinals to go to the loo in a cafe. But even that's preferable to unisex Turkish squatters, like they still have in France. Filthy beasts.

scarlet-blue said...

Pat: Well let's hope he had some wet wipes in his vehicle and that he didn't just wipe his hands done his trousers.

Pete: Indeed! Infomaniac is there for a reason and should be more widely advertised.

Ms Super: Hello and Welcome! I'd say it was the height of luxury... along with pink fluffy upholstery and a mini-grill.

Chris: He should have parked further along and not on a bend. He should have nipped over the fence and shared with the sheep.

Gadj: Ah yes, Bob Flowerdew spreading muck and magic everywhere.

Dave: I imagine your heap is of the finest quality.

Mr Mutts: Thank-you Mr Mutts for noticing the pin-ups! Another is also having a problem with her Dyson crevice attachment...

Kaz: Have you read Mr XL's link? Tee Hee.
I wouldn't normally say 'relieving' or 'piddling', but Dave reads this blog...

Mr Meteor: I think this chap was an exhibitionist. He was parked on a bend and also had a death wish...

Sx

scarlet-blue said...

Daphne: Plumbing! Plumbing is the way forward. We can rebuilt the UK; we should all learn to plumb and sell our skills abroad. There is obviously a gap in the market....
Sx

CyberPete said...

Yes, it's not just filth you know. They also have filthy, bizarre and useless gadgets.

PI said...

Scarlet: that's what I constantly tell my grandsons.
Word verification is Pater. sweet!

scarlet-blue said...

Pete: She's not taking the bait is she...?

Pat: Ick. This is why I never eat bar snacks... too many grubby fingers in the bowl...

Sx

CyberPete said...

Nah, she's not.

How odd.

Kate Lord Brown said...

Grandpa flew Lancaster bombers during the war - as you obv couldn't step out to answer the call of nature in the middle of a mission, the pilots would apparently gaffer tape a length of hose to their 'little pilots', and run it down their trouser leg to a container. Perhaps a trip to B&Q is the way forward ...

scarlet-blue said...

Pete: Maybe I should have mentioned posing pouches...?

Kate: This sounds very much like The Great Escape to me...
But I can imagine that the men of today would abuse this idea, and one end of the hose would be pointing out of the car window. Not a nice thought.

Sx

CyberPete said...

Quick lock the doors!

She'll be bursting in any minute now.

scarlet-blue said...

Pete: Nope, no sign of her. We can say what we like... perhaps she's knitting?
Sx

eroswings said...

Well, at least he was courteous enough not to pee in a cup and toss it out on the highway.

I'm not sure I like the idea of a toilet in the car--when you're driving, you should be focused on the road, not trying to wipe and flush! That's just a terrible accident waiting to happen!

CyberPete said...

Yes, most likely some innards

CyberPete said...

Or her minky!

*waits for his PC to start up at work*

scarlet-blue said...

Mr Swings: I'm warming to Kate's hose-pipe idea myself. Have you looked at Mr XL's link? Ick.

Pete: Minky is a make of dish cloth isn't it?

Sx

CyberPete said...

I wouldn't be surprised if she can use hers as one.

Homo Escapeons said...

I'm Too shy shy
Hush hush, eye to eye
Too shy shy
to watch the girls go bye-bye


How I miss the coquettishness and innocence of the pinup gal era.
Good clean fun.

Andy Williams eh? Now you definitely need to post Pat Boone's foray into the dark side.

having my cake said...

I am in the process of trying to buy a new car. This is clearly something that should be on my checklist of in-cabin necessities.

scarlet-blue said...

Pete: Have I muddled my minky?

Mr Coppens: I'm straight to the Pat Boone reference book...

Ms Cakes: Apparently we have to check out Rolls Royce for toilet facilities. I'm a bit skint at the moment though...

Sx