Tuesday, 27 January 2009

A Public Information Film

The UK Government is always thinking of new ways to promote the health of the nation; they don't want us to get fat or die prematurely. Recently they provided us with this handy step by step guide to help us all stay fit and well.



Comfy buses? Where?

Anyhow, rumour has it, that the government are now working on a new guide to help us get through the recession. The catchy tag-line for this will be: Save more. Spend Less.

53 comments:

The Dotterel said...

It'll never catch on. Not with the interest rates I'm getting!

MJ said...

*enjoys listening to anything said in a British accent therefore doesn't pay any attention to the content of what is actually being said and scarfs down a packet of HobNobs whilst waiting for it to end*

scarlet-blue said...

Mr Dotts: Nothing the government says makes much sense... For starters they believe Buses are comfy and that people are made from plasticine.

MJ: Probably a wise move. I hope it was a packet of HobsNobs dunked in a cup of tea...

Sx

eroswings said...

I didn't realize that clay people were British!

Are all Brits so flexible?

scarlet-blue said...

Mr Swings: It's confusing isn't it? I thought Brits were supposed to be stiff... perhaps it's only our lips that are stiff...
Sx

Ponita said...

It's cute, but realistic? Naw.

However, like MJ, the Hobnobs went down quite nicely as I was watching it. The ones with milk chocolate.... yummy!

And dunked in plain, ice cold milk.... sorry, I am just not a tea drinker.

scarlet-blue said...

Ponita: Put a drop of whisky in the milk and then dunk the chocolate hobnobs. Delish!
Sx

xl said...

I think the government may have a secret agenda to thin out the herd in promoting the caveman lifestyle. Back then 22 (or thereabouts) was old age!

BEAST said...

***whispers sweet nothings to Miss MJ in best 'bone China' English accent***
Did you notice I stayed away from The Queens English , Piggy has the copywrite on that .
Very educational Miss Scarlet , I am off out with my club to try and bag some dinner

Gorilla Bananas said...

Wonderful idea for humans to be colour-coded like that. How would you fancy being scarlet all over, Miss Scarlet? I'm sure we could find a way to make it happen.

scarlet-blue said...

Mr Beastie: Be careful if you see any bananas... they can bite your arse.

Mr Bananas: I'm blushing at the thought Mr Bananas...

Sx

Madame DeFarge said...

Clearly, we have stopped being a country of grey men and are now a rainbow nation. With no ears (so we can't hear the exhortations to eat less) and no eyes (to read the fat content of kebabs - well, there was news to me).

I shall bend over backwards at work some more by way of exercise

savannah said...

doncha jes wonder where the money for that campaign came from, sugar? ;) xoxx

scarlet-blue said...

Madame D: It makes me feel like the country is being run by CBBC...

Savannah: Well exactly!

Sx

xl said...

27 January 2009 17:24

hint. hint.

scarlet-blue said...

Mr XL: Oh blimey! Apologies! I left you out... I've been affected by all the weird eclipses going on... it's making me go a bit daft!
The Brits don't really need much more encouragement to club each other to death....
Sxxxx

Kevin Musgrove said...

I'd be expending less energy hunting a mammoth than I would be trying to get a bloody train to work. According to my pedometer I'm averaging three-quarters of a mile's worth of pacing up and down before the things finally turn up.

The next public information film will be "How to screw your chances of spending your way out of a recession with capital infrastructure public works by having all the off-balance sheet spending you've done in the past decade come back and bite you in the nuts."

Eryl Shields said...

I was bendy once, though never pink.

Lulu LaBonne said...

We'd have more chance of clubbing our dinner to death if they hadn't built on all the green and woody bits. And who was it that told the schools to sell off their playing fields to raise cash for teaching? And wasn't putting coke and chocolate vending machines in schools another government endorsed money raising scam?

I've gone all red and bendy now

Ponita said...

*shudders* Sorry, Scarlet, I cannot even abide the smell of whiskey, much less taint my milk with it!

Perhaps some Baileys...

Gadjo Dilo said...

I didn't have any sound on this videao clip, but the message finally got through to me - eat more Plasticine!

(The flashing "Game Over" could be a shrewd metaphorical comment - I think I spotted 12 levels of meaning.)

CyberPete said...

The video won't show on my iPhone but I will be checking it out later

scarlet-blue said...

Kev: Is your train one of the comfy ones? Have you tried a comfy bus? Shall I shut up about comfy public transport? Okay then.

Eryl: Parts of me are pink. And a few parts are still bendy. But not the same parts.

Lulu: Yep, I have noticed these bewildering governmental contradictions as well. It's confusing... and typically Big Brother.

Ponita: I'm sorry! I think I've tried to force whisky on you before! Bailey's and biscuits sounds good.

Gadj: The flashing 'Game Over' symbolism also features in the spanking new 'How to Survive the Recession' guide.
Have you ever tasted Play-Doh? Much nicer than plasticine.

Pete: This video is supposed to be aimed at adults... you wouldn't believe it though...

Sx

Mrs Pouncer said...

Drink more, smoke more, spend more. Buy shoes, paint nails, book flights. Dye hair, call friends, take codeine. As your public information message implies, life CAN be very, very simple. Just look at my little itinerary above! Anyone with half an ounce of gumption could follow my plan, and be much happier for it. (Particularly Kev! Whazzup, Kevby? You seem peevish).

scarlet-blue said...

Mrs P: I think Kev is having problems with his wanking technique. It seems to be taking too long. Please click Here for details.
Sx

Daphne Wayne-Bough said...

On the other hand, there are apparently too many old people because we're all living too long. I wish they'd make up their minds.

KAZ said...

Perhaps it's because I'm a northener - but that accent is terribly annoying.
Hope MJ reads this.

scarlet-blue said...

Daphne: I'm very confused. Perhaps we should all emigrate...

Kaz: I think the voice is annoying because it's so patronising. It's like Jackanory.
Comfy buses... mutter, mutter...

Sx

Crabtree said...

Invited to eat with a British friend, I always have to the spirit that this is not the quantity that is in cause!!
Facing the British kitchen I remain ...stoïque
When the dish arrives I wonder what is?
When I eat it this is the taste that is indefinable!
When I digest it seem to me in fact that it is a question of dough to model! But for the color? It is necessary to await!

Oui !oui ! Émigrer est la seule solution !

Sorry ! Yes! yes! Emigrate is the only solution!

MJ said...

KAZ: I've heard better but we Canadians aren't fussy.

*asks Beast to speak up*

scarlet-blue said...

Crabtree: Erm... Are you not keen on Fish and Chips and mushy peas... and of course there are national dishes: Spag Bog or a Ruby Murray.

Erm ... Vous n'êtes pas tenu à Fish and Chips et purée de pois ... et bien sûr il ya des plats nationaux: Spag Bog ou un Ruby Murray.

MJ: It's been one of those days...
Erm.. Northerners and Southerners sometimes can't understand each other.
Northerners have outside loos and swirly carpets, whilst southerners have laminate flooring, the occasional tasteful rug and inside loos.
*Patter of feet as Scarlet runs for cover*

Sx

Kevin Musgrove said...

Nothing wrong with the technique. It's just I've got to the age where my mind wanders and I can't remember what it was I was going to do.

Kevin Musgrove said...

I know I was going to say something but for the life of me I can't remember what it was.

EmmaK said...

I found the All Right Guv'nor cheeky chappie man of the people voiceover particularly grating - no doubt the voiceover was done my some posh speaking actor from
RADA

scarlet-blue said...

Kev: Well Kev, apparently Mrs P has a way with a sea-cucumber and a monk's hammer, so maybe she'll be able to assist you. There is a waiting list; she's at this moment finishing off Mr Inky... and she said something about having photographs.
I have a loofah. It's all I've been left with...
Sx

scarlet-blue said...

Emma: Yes! You've hit the nail on the head... that's why it's so annoying. It's Mockney Cockney.
Sx

BEAST said...

Miss Scarlet , I have a tasteful fireside rug on my laminate floor , but Miss MJ was very rude about it .
You also forgot Northeners dont have things like Nintendo Wee they have to amuse themselves by stuffing ferrets (or is it whippets) down their trousers for 'interactive' amusement

scarlet-blue said...

Mr Beastie: Indeed! They also like vests and say 'icky thump' before starting each sentence.
MJ, please look here for Northern culture.
Sx

Practically Joe said...

Thanks for that video.
Because of one of the YouTube ads at the bottom of the screen ... there's a good chance I'll soon have thicker fuller hair.

Kate Lord Brown said...

If you do go scarlet all over, remember to leave a little space at the nape of your neck (don't want you going the way of Goldfinger). I'm more inclined towards Mrs P's advice this afternoon. And there's something for you over at mine x

scarlet-blue said...

Joe: Are you buying a toupée?

Kate: Thank-you Kate! I shall work on my acceptance speech [I shall probably do a Gwynnie].. It will probably be ready for next Tuesday/Wednesday.
Sx

Julian Meteor said...

Yeah, but save WHAT????? lol

MJ said...

I am disturbed by those images of men beating each other playfully with black puddings.

Everything I know about northern culture I learned from Coronation Street and there was nothing about men hitting each other about the head with black puddings.

Oh and Beast's fireside rug has fleas.

wv: unporc

scarlet-blue said...

Mr Meteor: Everything, Mr Meteor! Throw nothing away!!! Obviously money is now redundant.

MJ: I know, Corrie is the soft side of northern life... it doesn't like to feature the medieval custom of black pudding battering.
Mr Beastie needs to fumigate his rug... I don't think his posing pouch has seen the inside of a washing machine either. Tut. But us Southerners are a tad grubby...

Sx

MJ said...

As a public service for us foreigners, could you do a posting devoted entirely to northern culture?

scarlet-blue said...

MJ: I would be lynched by Kaz, and Kev Musgrove. I would also have to show southerners at their worst... possibly with an episode of Eastenders...
Sx

MJ said...

Couldn't you hire Kaz and Kev as advisers?

*scarfs down bacon butty in preparation for northern culture post*

*asks for Eccles cake for afters*

~Static~ said...

We have similar campaigns here in the States.

To be honest I don't think the gov't cares if people get fat or die prematurely, they just don't wanna have to flip the bill. =)

scarlet-blue said...

MJ: We are playing with fire... you have witnessed what the northerners do with black pudding. They also have a strange way with whippets, pigeons, mushy peas and white stilettos.
Sx

scarlet-blue said...

Static: Hello mate! Yep, I think the mixed messages are even more complex in the States. Eat loads but stay a size 0....? Very tricky.
Sx

Kevin Musgrove said...

White stilettos? Nay lass, black slingbacks, with the price tags on the soles. Or else trainers. Or just bare feet stained with Bisto and counterfeit labels stuck on.

And we're scarcely properly north!

PI said...

I did leave a comment but it's gorn. Never mind - the thought was there.

scarlet-blue said...

Kev: Bare feet with labels sounds more like London. Flip-flaps in Chatham etc. Apologies Chatham...

Pat: I know the feeling. I find myself looking for comments I'm sure I've written... it all gets a bit hazy. It's probably on another blog somewhere...

Sx