Wednesday, 1 April 2009

A Revelation...

The sad truth is that I'm not a blonde-ish bombshell from East Sussex [though I'm still not ginger]. I am instead a Grandmother of 86 and have 4 grandchildren. Sorry if this comes as a shock to many of you. I've had so much fun being Scarlet Blue, I always fancied myself as Marilyn Monroe, please forgive me my indulgence. Anyhow, here is a short video from happier times...



***UPDATE*** Today is April 2nd. To view a teenage Miss Scarlet then please click HERE!!!

56 comments:

OLEJACK said...

only before 12 noon.

underOvr (aka The U) said...

Hi Scarlet,

It really doesn't matter to me although I think it's cool of you to share. As far as I'm concerned, anyone who can play a sax (even at 86) will always be someone I have admiration for.

U

Ponita in Real Life said...

Is that not contradictory?

You are a grandmother of 86... that is quite a large number of little ones... but then you go on to say you have only four grandchildren....

I am a grandmother of none and I have no grandchildren... at least my numbers add up.

Paul Nichols said...

You're beautiful.

I remember that video from way back when. We just howled and howled. We also saw it once on Johnny Carson's Tonight Show. It was good to see it again here. Thank you.

I was recently in an Arizona restaurant, Mexican. The walls were covered with framed MM photos. Hundreds of them. Even in the restrooms. Very cool.

I like your blog, by the way.

xl said...

"Blue" was a sly reference to your hair rinse, wasn't it?

I am really a cat.



Oh Hai Ponita!

eroswings said...

Ha! I don't believe it one bit! You're still a bombshell, baby!

*off to plant ravioli seeds*

MJ said...

Sadly, the climate here does not suit spaghetti.

We are forced to rely on imports.

Oh Hai XL!

He really is a kitteh, you know.

Wow, that was awkward said...

Oh great! So I have the hots for an 86 year old granny?

CyberPete said...

You are the naughtiest 86 year old grandmother/minx I know.

Kudos!

Whirlochre said...

Five grandchildren.

Now hurry up and die so I can claim my inheritance, bitch.

Dave said...

I would never dream of not telling the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.

Jimmy Bastard said...

The sad truth?
The saddest thing would be for you to lose that extra special touch you bring to my personal blawging experience.

Nothing changes for me... Ginge. It's business as usual

Gorilla Bananas said...

A noble attempt to stop them playing with themselves while looking at your picture, Miss Scarlet. I wish I could say I was confident of your success.

Gadjo Dilo said...

Ha, I remember seeing this newsreel before and couldn't believe that they had the audacity to do this back then!

scarlet-blue said...

OleJack: Hello and Welcome!!! Is April Fool's Day just a British thing....?

Mr U, Ponita,: Do you not do April Fool's Day??

Mr Nichols: Hello and Welcome!!! Very pleased to have you here. The Spaghetti is a BBC classic.

Mr XL: I'm sure you are lovely kitten.

Mr Swings Thank you!

MJ: Knew I wasn't going to fool you...

Mr Awkward: I think you have the hots for an avatar!

Sx... be back in a bit - fag break...

scarlet-blue said...

Pete Tee Hee!

Mr Whirly: Willie!!! Is it really you? You know I'd forgive you anything... Come home....

Dave: It's okay, you're not in the witness box.

Mr Jimmy: Too Right!

Mr Bananas: I'm having my avatar printed on a tissue box..

Gadj: I was a kid when I first saw this newsreel. My Mum was in fits of laughter explaining it to me because... yes, I believed it..[true]

Sxxx

scarlet-blue said...

Ponita Apologies for the colloquial phrasing of this post.
Sx

KAZ said...

Well - thank god I'm not the oldest blogger around.

BEAST said...

In a spirit of sharing , I can now reveal I am a 21 year old , millionaire playboy , fabulously good looking and modest

Clyde said...

And I have a Granny fetish
So what's your problem
Get your stock of Tena pants, put your tethh back in and head on over.
Oooh, I love a woman with no teeth

PI said...

You'll always be Scarlet to me and bless you for being older than me. We know how old we are at heart. Only Mrs P knows the truth and she's not splitting. Don't go anywhere please.

scarlet-blue said...

Kaz: I wouldn't care how old I was if I looked like Johanna Lumley!

Mr Beastie: Now you're being silly... [It's okay, I won't tell anyone]

Mr Clyde: Yep, no teeth but I can still suck on an orange...

Pat: Thank you Pat, and yes Mrs P does know the truth... and the truth is quite dull!!

Sx

Mrs Pouncer said...

My lips are sealed. I will say this, however. Scarlet is the best of company, and a companion who takes her duties seriously. Even when I fell into a taxi on the Strand, and out of it again at London Bridge, she did not shirk. She would be hopeless under siege conditions, but isn't phased when a moronic barman says "What's a Moscow Mule?"
Scarlet, you have inspired me to change my avatar to the real me. Or at least, part of the real me. Yes, that part.

scarlet-blue said...

Mrs P All true! My school report always said I was a conscientious student but weaked willed when held captive in the Boys toilets by the football team...
Anyhow, which part Mrs P?
Valerie Leon in a milkmaid's costume? Yvonne Romain in black boucle and a melanic beehive? Or Kathy Kirby; red lace, with trembling lower lip?
I was thinking of morphing Irene Handl and Liz Fraser....
Sx

PI said...

One thing occurs to me- it does make the ageists look a bit bloody silly.

Mrs Pouncer said...

Oh Scarls, it's done! To celebrate my birthday month, and for one week only. Took me AN HOUR. Am a bit pissed (good lunch). Next mohnth, my feet. July, my appendix scar. August, an appalling upshot.

scarlet-blue said...

Pat: Well Pat, in the spirit of revelation I may be a smidge older than 38... but not quite 86! Tsk, I began this blog as pure fiction... and then Mr Bananas found me... and well, hmmm... this is another post altogether - AND LOOK AT MRS P beneath you!

Mrs P: Don't you dare do a mass deletion!!! You're looking lovely!

Sx

PI said...

'and then Mr Bananas found me... and well, hmmm...'
Now that really does intrigue me. I'm such a nincompoop and actually e-mailed my eldest with the hot press news. I feel a bit teary - I'm going to have an early snifter.

scarlet-blue said...

Pat: I think we should both join Mrs P for a snifter... I will be having one later.
Sx

French Fancy said...

Well I've got a feeling that you and Mrs P are friends of the late lamented Danny La Rue

French Fancy said...

Oh well, maybe I shouldn't have announced that he was dead - but he is certainly lamented.

scarlet-blue said...

Frenchie: Hello and Welcome!
Goodness me! What can you be suggesting?!
Sx

EmmaK said...

Even if your pubes are grey and your vagina is a clown car due to childbirth I don't think you will lose your loyal band of followers. As long as you have some hair on your head and a few wisps down below they will be satisfied. That's men for you!

scarlet-blue said...

Emma: I hope you're right! But what would happen if I morphed into Irene Handl?!
Sx

Betty said...

Aah, dear old Dickie Dimbleby. Age shall not wither him as it has withered us.

In fact, I was born in the same year as Sir Richard Dimbleby. As it's now too late to be an April Fool gag, it must be true, eh?

scarlet-blue said...

Betty: 1913!!! I think we've established that I'm hopeless at maths... but I think that makes you older than me... the things we've seen eh?
Sx

Kevin Musgrove said...

Well, that's one in the eye for me! I always thought you were an 86-year-old grandmother.

It explained so much.

Madame DeFarge said...

I'm not really a revolutionary from Charles Dickens either, I just like knitting.

Whoever you are, you're still fab :) And a role model for us aged crones everywhere.

scarlet-blue said...

Kev: I know! Apologies!
Have you seen Mrs P???

Madame D: Thank-you! It's all in the mind, you're as young as the things you think about... or something like that!

Sx

Kevin Musgrove said...

That isn't really Mrs. P. is it? Where are the lorgnettes? And the blue rinse?

(lights blue touchpaper and retires)

scarlet-blue said...

Kev: Are you having an attack of the vapours? Have you passed out? Let me just take my teeth out and I'll try mouth to mouth resuscitation...
Sx

underOvr (aka The U) said...

Scarlet,

Perhaps I should have said, "86 or 26 ... April Fool's or April in Paris..it doesn't matter because I would still find you entertaining."

The truth is, when I try to be funny it simply doesn't work.

U

scarlet-blue said...

Mr U: Truth is that I'm very lazy and I'm relying on you to write a proper saxophone post.
Hugs.
Sxx

Mrs Pouncer said...

Oh Scarls! I have just seen your TA* piccie at MJs! How brave are we? I honestly didn't know you'd unveiled; I wasn't copying, honestly, just a bit pissed from a good lunch and feeling reckless and worldweary. You look wonderful - and I'd have known you anywhere. You haven't changed one bit. Cow.

*This stands for Teen Angst, Scarlet fans,, NOT Terratorial Army. How do you spell terratorial? It's coming up as an error. Sorry, still hungover. Cxx

Mrs Pouncer said...

territorial. Sorry.

scarlet-blue said...

Mrs P: I know! It truly was a day of revelation!!!
For all those who want to see what I looked like a few years ago, please click HERE!! Especially Miss Frenchie!!!
Sx

Mrs Pouncer said...

Scarly, I need more help. I now appear to be following myself. How do I remove me, and how has this happened?

Mrs Pouncer said...

It's ok; I've done it. Sorry to clutter up comments box. Delete if you wish. Cx

Emerson Marks said...

Talking of grannies, one fellow, who shall remain nameless, was borrowing some mucky films of another mate.

The person who was lending played a bit of a trick by replacing the DVD in the red hot Dutch case with some rotten film of an eighty odd year old getting drilled senseless by some mere slip of a lad of fifty.

Anyways, the lad was all ready to go by the time he realsied he'd been diddled by his DVD switching mate, but not wanting to waste what excitemnet had given him, he beat one off over the old girl anyway.

Not sure if anyone comes out well from that story.

scarlet-blue said...

Mrs P: No worries, Mrs P... I tried following myself but I got lost. I have a lousy sense of direction.

Mr Marks: An interesting and moving tale... Erm, no, no one gets off looking good that way...

Sx

Crabbers said...

Scarlet-blue : Avertissement sur le contenu ...Qui disent !??

Very ...Very... pretty !!

Your hair is similar in that of the angels! :))
In your eyes I see all United Kingdom ! ;)

Crabbers said...

Le canular du spaghettis ,m'a fait énormément rire En 1957 !!

underOvr (aka The U) said...

Scarlet,

"... I'm relying on you to write a proper saxophone post."

I think you tease me here Scarlet since:
1. You've been playing the sax for several years (whereas I just bought one).
2. You've already written a lovely informative post on the sax.

And that wouldn't be cool....coming behind you writing a sax post.

No Scarlet, I'll leave well enough alone.

U

scarlet-blue said...

Crabbers: Thank you!! You are very kind!
And I know... spaghetti comes in cans, it doesn't grow on trees.

Mr U: Have you tried using the Jamey Aebersold series of books for learning Jazz. Once you get your head round the layout, they're very good.
My first 'learn to play' book was Learn As You Play Saxophone by Peter Wastall - it's a bit boring but very good for learning the basics. I'd also recommend The Jazz Method for Saxophone by John O'Neill... my favourite learning book.
Also check out this site for saxophones and links, I think it's worldwide.
I'm lucky - this place is 15 mins down the road from me! And also, have you found yourself a good teacher? It's worth it.

Sx

underOvr (aka The U) said...

Scarlet,

Thanks for the 411 resources. There are two places here in Smalltown but my issue with learning is one of time management.

I have always loved the sax more than any musical instrument. I think hearing Jr. Walker and the All Stars play Shotgun solidified my love for the instrument and those who play it.

It may sound silly but I saw this instrument and I wanted it. I had not thought about leaning to play, I just wanted it.

I would love to take lessons but I have no time. It seems writing consumes my free time now.

That is the way it is for me Scarlet, I am consumed by my love and passion. It becomes a matter of prioritizing and focus; I'm not efficient at multiprocessing. I remember my Grandmother constantly warning me about having "too many irons in the fire" (none of them will get hot was her logic); so I'm more of an ordered guy when it comes to processing (Thanks Grandma).

See what you've gone and done Scarlet? This is not a comment; it's a fucking blog post!

You have a great weekend will you? As they say where I come from, "Do it for me".

U

scarlet-blue said...

Mr U: Tsk!! You need to blow that horn!!! 10 mins a day and work up from there.
But I agree about the 'too many irons' remark though... very true.
And thank you for the link to Jr. Walker and the All Stars, great stuff!
Sx