Thursday, 28 May 2009

Lost At Sea

.

Because my mojo is lost at sea I decided to set off on a quest to find it. I travelled far and wide, over hill, down dale, through the shopping mall and left at the traffic lights... and I eventually found myself at Beachy Head. I gazed out to sea, in a kind of thoughtful romantic way that I've seen heroines do in films. I hoped for a flood of inspiration. The wind gusted. The sea crashed on the rocks below [this is a lie, but I'm trying to create a mood - clever eh?], but there was still no sign of my lost mojo. So then I thought: what the heck, it's gone, bugger it, I can do without it, whatever. I found my way down to the shore. I walked along a bit, and there, sunbathing behind a rock, was a nekkid old man. I admired his tan and tried to compose a comment... but then I realised that he was real... and that this was life imitating blogs...

33 comments:

Whirlochre said...

Most saints offer salvation for the living, but Nekkid Old Man clearly exists to thrust one last titillation before the shocked whites of the soon-to-be dead as they plummet from Beachy Head...

mapstew said...

Oh dear! Oh deary deary dear! So that's where lost mojo's go.

Ava said...

You poor dear. You didn't deserve that. Can't a girl look for her mojo without running across such scenery?

xl said...

Oh, Miss Scarlett! Maybe this calls for a mojito.

savannah said...

read some poetry, sugar...and have a drink with me! xoxox

MJ said...

Insert some money in his coin slot to recover your lost mojo.

Gorilla Bananas said...

One a funny place to be putting suntan lotion! The sun must shine up his bottom rather than out of it. I hope you quickly averted your eyes, Miss Scarlet!

Dave said...

Have you tried looking in a zoo, or asked the RSPCA if he's been handed in there?

We are talking about Mojo, Homer Simpson's helper monkey in an episode of The Simpsons, aren't we?

If we're not, then I have no idea about what you're talking, for I always understood a mojo to be a magical charm bag used in hoodoo, and clearly you need no magic to charm us.

Hope this helps.

Wow, that was awkward said...

My mojo is missing too! It was last seen wandering with my mind. Perhaps my mojo and mind are planning a rendezvous with your mojo. Let me know if you lose your mind anytime soon and we can do a search party together, sans nekked men.

Scarlet-Blue said...

Mr Whirly: He had a great tan... but I think he'd also lost his mojo...

Mr Maps: They bask nekkid at Beachy Head and hope for recovery... not even the Samaritans can help...

Ava: This is the problem - I am now immune to such scenery... and I'm still trying to think of a comment. Perhaps I should have said: would you like cream with that?

Mr XL: On the rocks? I think so...

Savvy: I think I will, and I do have something to celebrate soon!

MJ: See what you've done to me! I saw him and I didn't bat an eyelid... I didn't flinch. He would have fitted in perfectly on Infomaniac...

Mr Bananas: I'm afraid to say that my eyes alighted on the main event..

Dave: I think I'm needing a charm infusion... but I will probably have to make do with champagne.

Mr Awkward: With the supporting evidence on this blog, I think I can safely say that my mind ran off some time ago!
I'm sure our mojos will be very happy together!

Sx

Sarah said...

Why are you feeling so lack luster Miss Scarl.....Mojito's doooo sound good for lost mojo's though....
Time for a cyber party..? i'll do the food...

Betty said...

The picture of Beachy Head makes me feel a bit giddy.

I saw a nekkid old man fishing on the coast of Gran Canaria when we went past in a boat. I don't know what he was using as bait. His mojo perhaps?

KAZ said...

I can't decide which is more scary - standing on the edge of a cliff or thinking blogs are real life.
I would never do the former but the latter often happens.
Sad eh?

Lulu LaBonne said...

Did you ask him to strike a pose and send the photo to MJ?

Scarlet-Blue said...

Sarah: A party sounds like an excellent idea... Probably best if you do the food... I even burnt my fish fingers last night.
I'll bring a crate of Moet.

Betty: And were the fish attracted to his mojo? Was it working? Was his mojo being nibbled?

Kaz: I know! For a split second my mind began scrolling down to read the comments... most peculiar!

Lulu: And that was precisely my second thought!
I felt no embarrassment at all in seeing a nekkid old man on the beach...

Sx

BEAST said...

I bet Miss MJ was lurky behind a rock taking pictures for her next Filthy Friday post

Scarlet-Blue said...

Mr Beastie: This was also my suspicion... I'm sure I saw a fleeting glimpse of a pair of black and red stripey tights...
Sx

MJ said...

Betty said, "I saw a nekkid old man fishing on the coast of Gran Canaria when we went past in a boat."

Was it one of these men, Betty?

EmmaK said...

the nekkid old man would have made me laugh - like when you go to Spain etc one is always sunbathing on a beach and some horrid man is wanking in the bushes leering at you - I always smile and wave it really freaks them out.

Scarlet-Blue said...

MJ: Blimey... why couldn't I have seen the first one???
WHY????? Why couldn't you have sent him my way?????

Emmak: He did make me smile; I thought: good for him to feel that relaxed on the beach. I laugh at the young blokes relieving themselves at the side of the road now... cos they always blush!

Sx

Emerson Marks said...

Get youself over to my blog, Scarlet. Somebody's left a comment aimed in your direction that might get your mojo back.

Scarlet-Blue said...

Mr Marks: Yep, that helped!
Thank you!
Slow old night tonight...
Sx

eroswings said...

You're mojo is just making a few changes til it resurfaces, sexier and more energetic!

As for the nekkid people, my recent trip to Europe made me think that it was quite the norm on the beaches!

PI said...

I'd be happier if you found somewhere a little less precipitous when looking for your mojo.

Emerson Marks said...

Did this man get sight of you. Trust you were clothed at the time.

Kevin Musgrove said...

you used to be able to buy a bag of Mojos at a halfpenny each.

I think they've gone the way of Old English Spangles.

Donn Coppens said...

Don't get all String Theory on me and start talking about Blogs imitating Life..I'd have Killer Whales, Taipans, Bears, Lions, Komodo Dragons,the Taliban, and Nukes exploding in my living room!

Of course I'd have Monica Bellucci in there somewhere too...Hmmm?

:: Wendy :: said...

Would some jelly-babis help?

garfer said...

That sort of thing never happened to Daphne DuMaurier.

She really should have got out more.

Congratulations on your free 99.

laughingwolf said...

nothing in that scene i'd wanna see... ok, other than the sea, sand and cliffs ;)

Chairman Bill said...

I have a spare mojo, should you need one. The only problem is that I could never get it to work.

Scarlet-Blue said...

Mr Swings: I'm beginning to think it's normal! What's wrong with the Brits - one ray of sunshine and their clothes drop off.

Pat: I know! Lovely view, but I am scared of heights.

Mr Marks: I was fully clothed and not looking for cockles...

Kev: Precisely! It's impossible to get your mojo spangled these days. But I will keep trying.

Mr Coppens: Maybe you'll also get a ride on a Virgin train with a Tena Lady...?

Wendy: Jelly Babies always help. As do Smarties... and Sherbet Fountains.

Mr Garfer: At least I didn't get a free 69!

Mr Wolfy: Well, some fish 'n chips would have been nice - better than the shrivelled sausage...

Mr Chairman: I'm going to get mine rebuilt and motorised... and then I will make sure I keep it well oiled in future.

Sx

laughingwolf said...

no argument from me on that score, miss s ;)