Sunday, 31 May 2009

Skool Report

I've been sorting through some old boxes in the attic and I came across my old school reports. I don't often write about myself, it's much more fun being written about. All you really know about me is that I am not ginger. Anyhow, as it is my bloggy first birthday on June 2nd, I thought I would share with you some snippets from my reports...

English: 'Scarlet works conscientiously and she's reached a high standard. Her written work is sensitive and perceptive. She is well above average and has a flair for this subject. She is a pleasure to teach.' - Mr B [I fancied him]

Geography: 'Scarlet produces good work of an average standard but is sometimes too easily distracted. Her attitude in class is not always good.' - Mr H [Yeah, but I still got an A grade]

Science: 'Scarlet appears to be making up her mind as to whether she will work or play the fool. Such indecision is a waste of time and is the cause of her declining work standards. Much effort must be made as Scarlet's standard is not good. Test result below average.' - Mr S [I didn't fancy him]

Maths: 'A poor effort this term! Scarlet must make every effort to improve her classwork which is lagging behind. She is capable of a higher standard.' - Miss H [Ho Hum]

Music: 'Scarlet is very down to earth and working well with an intelligent approach.' - Mr EJ [He was cute]

Art: 'Scarlet is lacking some confidence in her own ability which she covers up by "teenage giggling", when this phase passes I'm sure she will benefit from the more serious approach which is bound to take place in a girl as perceptive as Scarlet is. She is well capable of heights as yet undreamed of.' - Mrs W [Well, there was this boy in my class who I helped with his life drawing exercises...]

Overall: 'A mixed report. I hope Scarlet will take careful note of the disappointing comments and decide to improve matters herself. She can be very pleasant, though recently she has preferred to be condescending in her attitude. It is to be hoped that she will behave in a more mature manner from now on.' - House Mistress [*Blows raspberry*]

Note from Headmaster: 'I shall want to see Scarlet with all her reports next term.' [We had a pot of tea and a nice chat and became best friends - weird]

Hmmm.... I'm beginning to see a pattern....



33 comments:

ChrisV82 said...

Do you think you would have done better in math and science if the teachers were more attractive?

For myself, I think the answer is no, but my best math subject was geometry, which just so happened to have my hottest teacher ever. So, results may be inconclusive.

Scarlet-Blue said...

Mr Chris: Ahhh... well there you go... we would all do better at education if our teachers were hot!
Sx

Gorilla Bananas said...

Tut, Miss Scarlet, I'm going to make you count bananas until you're good at sums.

Mrs Pouncer said...

And it is my blogging anniversary today. Not that anyone noticed. Gits.

savannah said...

but look how well y'all have turned out, sugar! anything special planned for 2 june? xoxoxo

xl said...

My math reports were much the same. Except the "capable of a higher standard" part.

PI said...

They're not keen on the pretty ones - some of 'em. As long as you're great at English - that's the important one.
Congrats on the anniversary. Doesn't it go quickly?
Mrs P you have to warn us but well done!

underOvr (aka The U) said...

Scarlet,

OK, I read these comments about your academic days and wondered WTF does it really have to do with you? It didn't define who you were or the woman you would become. It was just a perception.

I don't know you Scarlet but I still like you. None of what others say changes that.

It's a choice I've made.

BTW...Congrats to you love.

U

eroswings said...

Ah, so you were a smart girl with a bad girl complex! You were about to burst out of the chrysalis and spread your wings to fly.

You know, most people try to avoid the principal's office; but you go and have tea with him!

Happy blog birthday!

Wow, that was awkward said...

How fun to get to read those comments! Love your updated commentary too. You sound like you were a handful back then. Good thing you have grown up and addressed that. Or have you?

Daphne Wayne-Bough said...

When I went to see my tutor after passing my finals, he congratulated me on how I'd handled the question on Descartes, and said "I always thought you weren't paying attention". So what do they know.
Congratulations to you and Mrs P on your bloggiversaries. I'm back, by the way.

Dave said...

I for one am glad you made the decision not to work, but play the fool instead.

Whirlochre said...

My RE teacher was a stubby gnome who wore a leather jacket, 'cock thrust' 70s trousers and platforms, topped off with perspex See Pluto From Anywhere glasses and armpits that made the whole school stink.

The girls needed smelling salts to bring them round after he'd taken them up the Genesis...

KAZ said...

Had I been your science teacher I would have given you a great report. Even though you didn't fancy me.

Happy bloggy birthday.

Gadjo Dilo said...

Wow, "well capable of heights as yet undreamed of"! Undreamed of by who? You, the art teacher or humanity as a whole? I like it!

Scarlet-Blue said...

Mr Bananas: As long as the bananas aren't in Mr Beastie's fruitbowl..?

Mrs P: Congratulations! You should have made an announcement. We do seem to have a weird synchronicity going on! Go on - let's see your school report.

Savvy: I don't know what to do on June 2nd... I might play some favourite tunes.. or something?

Mr XL: Honest to God, I wasn't capable of higher standards in maths. I peaked at multiplication. I remember trying to use the Sine, Cosine, Tangent tables... I still haven't got a clue what that was all about????

Pat: The blog year has gone very quickly! I wonder if I'll still be here next year?!

Mr U: Well... I'm still lazy... and I'm still easily distracted... and I'm still not so hot at maths... but I have my moments! Thank you!

Mr Swings: I was often in the wrong place at the wrong time. Whenever I was a bit naughty - I got caught!

Mr Awkward: I'm sure I wasn't as bad as these teachers have made out. I think it's because my work was inconsistant [bit like my blog!]. I'm still like that!

Daphne: Welcome home! I think I gave the Humanities department a bit of a surprise when my results came in! What do they know indeed...

Dave: I just can't help myself!

Mr Whirly: I remember being distracted by my German teacher's armpit hair. I learnt nothing.. if she'd worn a cardy my life could be completely different...

Kaz: We were a horrible group, endlessly playing with our bunsen burners and chewing on our asbestos mats... The science teacher put us on class report. So I will apologise now to all science teachers.

Gadj: I have a hunch that my art teacher was being a little sarcastic...?!

Sx

Lulu LaBonne said...

well capable of heights as yet undreamed of!


Was he talking about your bid to stage a sit-in on the chemistry lab roof?

debra said...

We all excel at those things that truly interest us, me thinks, and in the things that are presented in a way that we understand.

Happy bloggy b'day.

Sarah said...

I got an A in chemistry and am absolutley positive it had nothing to do with the fact I used to some how get the lab door jammed when there was only myself and Mr Pritchard (Burt Reynolds lookalike..well it was the 70's)in there....for hours sometimes. well it was an all girls school half way up a mountain in wales..what else were we supposed to do?

BEAST said...

I bet you were a right little madam at school Miss Scarlet and would have benefitted from a good stiff talking to.
Happy Blogging Birthday and to Mrs P (or she will sulk)

EmmaK said...

I had similar reports to you - they were always pissed off that I messed around in class but got A grades. Apart from in Chemistry - I was chucked out of O level chemistry for setting the gas outlets on fire and exploding some test tubes in them thingies that spun round and round.

laughingwolf said...

what, no score for creativity? ;)

happy twoth... and many more :)

Kate Lord Brown said...

Happy Blogoversary for tomorrow Scarlet! Funny we started round the same time. Yes, no one fancied their science teachers (smelt of gas and formaldehyde ..) Here's to naughty smart girls x

Kevin Musgrove said...

It doesn't always follow that having a fanciable teacher improves grades. We had one of our school's best Maths O-Level scores and the absolute worst Maths A-Level score. The difference? A-Level Maths was taught by a twenty-five year old blonde in Max Factor dusk blue eye shadow and action slacks. They could have cut the testosterone with a bread knife...

Emerson Marks said...

I enjoyed the social side of school. You know, mucking around and what have you, but some of the lessons were dull. Makes me wish I'd played truant.

Eryl Shields said...

You got an A for geography, I'm so impressed! Happy blogday for tomorrow, X

p.s. it's June, now what?

Scarlet-Blue said...

Lulu: The sit-in was later, and then there was the strike I led at work...

Debra: Hello and Welcome!
Of course you are right and our teachers did have quite a bit to deal with.

Sarah: Sounds like you were a good all rounder AND still had loads of fun.

Mr Beastie: I think I was mainly quite good.. but reading through my reports I can see why my parents got a little worried!

Emmak: Crikey, but weren't those gas taps lethal?
Hmmm... I recall our teacher blowing up the science lab a few times... we took our lives in our hands.

Mr Wolfy: I spent all my time trying to dream the undreamed of dreams... it's a big ask.

Kate: There was one science teacher that everyone liked... but he wasn't conventionally sexy - he had charisma, unfortunately he didn't teach my class. Shame, I might have learnt something.
Yep, there seems to be a few bloggy birthdays about now! Didn't it go quick?

Kevin: We had a French teacher like that.. all the boys went silly over her. She would lean over them whilst wearing a low cut blouse. She was often drunk.

Mr Marks: Erm... well I gave up maths... and PE... but there are only so many sick notes you can forge.
I'm not the only one who did that, am I? [See I was good at art]

Eryl: Geography came under the umbrella of Humanities.. and it was more urban geography... so I still think I'm pretty rubbish at it... I do vaguely remember the stuff about rock formation!!! But, yep I got an A grade for Humanities.
It is indeed June... how are you feeling about the smoking thing?

Sx

MJ said...

Is there NOWHERE I can go without hearing about Beast's fruitbowl?

Dave said...

I have waited until today to say: Happy Anniversary.

I've celebrated your achievement at my place too.

jekandhyd said...

Well, this posting has just given me a very big BFO (Blinding Flash of the Obvious). My best subject at school was maths and I had a serious of very hot maths teachers. In fact I even dated one maths teacher's daughter just so I could hang around her house more.

Now I'm currently involved in a couple of government initiatives on education so I will try, within the confines of my role, to improve the general hotness and fitness quotient of those engaged in the profession. I think it is the least I can do to raise the overall academic output of pupils in this country.

On behalf of schoolchildren everywhere, I thank you

Dr J

jekandhyd said...

sorry, I meant "series", not "serious", because they weren't

Scarlet-Blue said...

MJ: Christ knows what his liquidiser looks like...?

Dave: Shall we blow out the candle together?

Mr Jekandhyd: I'm very pleased to be of assistance... and it's nice to know that I eventually raised some educational standards!

Sx

laughingwolf said...

mayhap, but YOU can do it :)