Tuesday, 19 May 2009

That's Life!

Do you ever feel really bleurghhhhhh? Just lately I've been feeling very bleurghhhhh. I am more vapid than usual and the most interesting thought to cross my mind today was: 'Oh, my eyes look pretty with mascara and eyeliner'. I am dull with ennui. Nothing appears to be raising my spirits; I have not a blink of inspiration. What is to become of me?
Perhaps I need a new challenge? I need something new to feel passionate about. A new raison d'etre. Perhaps I should become an MP? Esther Rantzen is going for it, so why not me? I too am a champion for the consumer, and I too have an unhealthy interest in wonky vegetables. I do have the odd hour to spare and Mr Beastie seems to think it would be a good idea... Okay, so I failed my maths 'O'Level, and I'm not good at confrontation... Jeremy Paxman would wipe the floor with me, but my eyes do look very pretty with mascara and eyeliner so I would look rather good on the cover of Vogue...

P.S Is it me or has blogger gone a bit funny? I keep having problems refreshing my page and my blogrol isn't updating properly... it's me isn't it? It's me that needs refreshing. Sob. Neurotic tantrum imminent...

63 comments:

BEAST said...

Is it wrong to harbour dark fantasies about Anne Widdicombe ???

Dave said...

I've been out and bought a lottery ticket for the first time in my life this morning. When I win (for you have assured me that I shall) I'll finance your campaign.

Will you need a moat for your house? And a chandelier?

Scarlet-Blue said...

Mr Beastie: Do you harbour dark fantasies about Anne Widdicombe??? What is she wearing in them and is she in her blonde phase?
Sx

Scarlet-Blue said...

Dave: Thank you! I promise not to let you down when I enter the House of Parliament. I'm feeling quite noble...
I think I'll be needing a whole new wardrobe of clothes for this new job... say £30,000?
Sx

Dave said...

This will give you lots of opportunities to make puns about Honourable Members, won't it?

Dave said...

PS. I think that's Houses - one of Lords, one of Commons.

Better get your terms right before you start.

Scarlet-Blue said...

Dave: Do I have to enter all the houses...?
Sx

Chairman Bill said...

Not the THING that's making you feel that way, is it?

PI said...

I'd vote for you Scarlet- you'd be sure to keep our end up.
I had such an apologetic phone call today asking if I ever considered voting again would I possible vote Conservative. Such a nice young man.

Scarlet-Blue said...

Mr Chairman: Most mysterious! What is the THING? Would I know it if I saw it? Should I run????
Sx

Scarlet-Blue said...

Pat: Crikey... have they taken to telesales now?
Sx

Dave said...

If you were my MP I'd be sure to have an upstanding member.

Scarlet-Blue said...

Dave: You're desperate for me to talk about upright, erect, upstanding, outstanding, verticle members, aren't you Dave?
Okay then.
Sx

Scarlet-Blue said...

And vertical...
Sx

Wow, that was awkward said...

I dare you to make ennui exciting.

xl said...

I'll vote for you. Hey, that could be your first scandal!

Gorilla Bananas said...

I think you need to do something tomboyish to perk yourself up, Miss Scarlet. Have you ever played a prank? How about ringing on your neighbour's door and running away.

savannah said...

y'all need a vacation, sugar, i know i do. i think we need to do a holiday house switch: think kate winslet & cameron diaz in the holiday! (of course, i'm old enough to cameron diaz' mother and so not blond or in california, but y'all get the idea!) xoxoxo

vw: comet it's a sign

Scarlet-Blue said...

Mr Awkward: I suppose I could do it nekkid?

Mr XL: Vote rigging? There's nothing scandalous about that... is there?

Mr Bananas: I think a prank could be in order. i will have a think and report back.

Savvy: Oh God, yes please! I'm certainly overdue a bit of an adventure!

Sx

MJ said...

A nice slice of cake might perk you up.

KAZ said...

Jeremy Paxman can wipe the floor with me any time. It sounds like his idea of foreplay (or perhaps floorplay).

Geoff said...

I hate Esther. But I think she should stand for Parliament in Leicester.

Esther Leicester Tester.

Scarlet-Blue said...

MJ: It might... as long as it hasn't been interferred with. I've heard some ugly rumours about puddings...?

Kaz: I could possibly wipe the floor for Jeremy.

Geoff: I reckon she could turn into Margaret Thatcher at the drop of a pin. And she likes vegetables.

Sx

CyberPete said...

I think I need to be your advisor or representative or something.

Especially if the clothes budget is £30,000.

Lulu LaBonne said...

I followed MJ's Cake Fart link - I don't think I can comment on Esther Rantzen now... or politics

Lulu LaBonne said...

If you were a politician would you feature rude-shaped vegetables?

Kevin Musgrove said...

You could just be having problems with your Early Day Motions

Wow, that was awkward said...

You have my attention.

:: Wendy :: said...

When you and Jeremy have finnished could you send him over to polish some brass with me

Ava said...

AGAIN, Ms. Scarlet, I'll send you the opium. As you can see, its effects are not long lasting. The boring tales I could weave about ennui... well, you can imagine.

Gadjo Dilo said...

Yeh, Esther Rantzen's great, I'd vote for her! (Her electioneering slogan: "shaushagesh") Cheer up Scarley, these periods of malaise affect us all from time to time. I recommend reading a good book. Mr Musgrove might advise you.

Dave said...

If you're still feeling in need of excitement, you could always join us in bricklaying in Norfolk.

BEAST said...

Mr Babanas dont encourage Miss Scarlet.

Miss Scarlet stop ringing my doorbell and running away , I know its you , I can hear the clatter of your mules on the paving stones and the girlish giggling

Whirlochre said...

You could always take yourself for a spin on the Tarot cards to check if it's the future for you.

As for Esther Rantzen, after watching I'm A Celeb, I reckon her skin has superceded lungs in that "cover a whole football field if laid out flat" thing.

Sarah said...

Never mind that you can't do maths Scarlet, what we need in parliament is pretty women....it seems that the ugly men with brains can't keep the country afloat...

jekandhyd said...

We would both vote for you, and normally we vote for different parties. Let us know if you need any help with your expense claims

Dr J & Mr H

Eryl Shields said...

June is getting close, is it hanging over you like a rain cloud gathering darkness?

Scarlet-Blue said...

Pete: Could I tempt you into being my personal shopper?

Lulu: Rude vegetables seem quite wholesome after the cake link, don't they? I'm still having counselling to recover.

Kev: This is not the place to discuss my blockages. I think the rude vegetables will sort me out.
Perhaps I should have included a link to the rude vegetable patch. This may have been helpful... see, further evidence of my brain on strike.

Mr Awkward: Are you standing to attention, or are you just pleased to see me? Apologies... very old joke!

Wendy: After he's finished with his Dyson pop-up tool, I shall get him to rub the brass.

Ava: Have you got something that will wake me up and give me a bit of pep?

Gadj: Indeed, I should get stuck into my new Jonathan Coe. I need to lose myself somewhere...

Dave: Bizarely, I find this idea appealing!! I've always wanted to have a go at bricklaying.

Mr Beastie: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MR BEASTIE!!
Okay then... but I know you have cake...

Mr Whirly: She's quite bossy, isn't she? Lets not think about her skin... or her lungs being spread over football pitches... it's too early.

Sarah: You are quite right. My first job would be to recover all that dodgy green leather seating.. perhaps rip it all out and replace with some nice squashy sofas...?

Jekandhyd: Any help, with any expenses would be.. helpful!
Actually I do have some interesting ideas... I thinking of radical reform..

Sx

Scarlet-Blue said...

Eryl: Ha ha ha!!! Yes, I think it is!!!
Sx

Borah said...

I'd vote for you if you run for MP. You could base your decisions on what your tarot cards say!

Sarah said...

I think Salvidor Dali's red 'lips' sofa would look FAB!

librarylizzie said...

Prescription drugs and alcohol darling...works for me everytime. And shopping...I bought Cath Kidston mugs and a notebook at the weekend - bucked me up no end!

Dave said...

Being serious for a moment, and avoiding any innuendo about laying, if you need a break, and would like to have a go with bricklaying, I know that Z would be delighted to have another worker. I have a spare bed.

EmmaK said...

Come on now Scarlet being an MP is too boring for words. That's not for you that's for bucktoothed Esther.

I thought you should know that I have trumped you for vanity. I just had those single eyelashes glued onto the top of my eyelids - they will last two months apparently. They are bloody annoying and make my eyes water and I feel like I am looking out through a black fog but they do look stunning. For a pick me up have them done or a pedicure, get a new haircut, eat a box of Godiva chocolates. Oh and do my tarot will ya sexy?

Scarlet-Blue said...

Borah: The cards say we should embrace wind farms... but not the type that MJ is supporting.
NEVER EVER click on an MJ cake link. Lulu and I are still recovering.

Sarah: Yes! It could go with the Claes Oldenburg lipstick...

Lizzie: I want a cath Kidston duvet set sooo badly. Simple candy stripes, nothing more... but really costs a fortune for what it is.

Dave: You are lovely, but I'm sure I would drive you crazy after 10 mins. Think Nikki Grahame from Big Brother a few years back. Thankfully you will never have seen her!

Sx

CyberPete said...

It's a deal. Just say when and where.

Scarlet-Blue said...

Emmak: Do the lashes make you walk differently? I mean, as though you're trying to balance something? And what about sleeping? Hmmm... I may try it and I have a hair appointment next week!
I will try to do some more readings for the weekend. D'ya reckon I should just focus on 'futures'? Cos everyone already knows about their past and present...
Sx

Scarlet-Blue said...

Pete: I will! It's going to be fab!!!
Sx

Emerson Marks said...

Esther Ranzen - would you?

Sarah said...

Dave...!!! a spare bed!!!

Scarlet-Blue said...

Mr Marks: Would I what with Esther??? Would you?

Sarah: It seems that Dave has come over all fun loving with his offer of a spare bed. Bless 'im!

Sx

Emerson Marks said...

Should our paths cross, Scarlet - I mean mine and Esther's - which isn't beyond the realms of possibility, because she's got a place down the road, in the New Forest, then I'd probably turn her down.

PS Don't go to Sandals. You'll end up as the meat in some dreadful 50 something men's sandwich.

Wow, that was awkward said...

It was an easy setup. I'm glad you took it. You know the answer. ;)

Beverly Hamilton Wenham said...

You have my vote. I'm not so sure anyone could bully you. You would only have to bat your eyes at them and they would melt. Beauty and sex appeal are powerful weapons. But I also agree it may become boring. Why not have some one pay you for being fabulous? If I can find an employer for this position I will have them hire us both. There would be no glass ceiling. Straight to the moon for us!

mago said...

STill "bleurghhhhhh"?

Scarlet-Blue said...

Mr Marks: Okay, I shall not go to Sandals, and in any case I prefer mules.

Mr Awkward: I'm blushing [in quite a pretty way].

Beverly: Sounds like my dream job! If only!!

Mr Mags: Unfortuanately, yes. I have knocked back the vitamin pills, had a good sleep, but I still feel tired, spaced out and a bit bleurghhhh!

Sx

Daphne Wayne-Bough said...

You mean you're not all pumped up about the European elections? What is WRONG with you????

Scarlet-Blue said...

Hello Daphne, goodness me, look at my spelling of unfortuanately - see did it again! I blame this keyboard! I think I may be gnashing my teeth at the prospect of the European elections.
Sx

mutleythedog said...

I am afraid you are too late to become an MEP...

mago said...

But it is just a bit "bleurghhhh" now. Maybe just "bleu", "urgh" or a simple "ghhh". I think this is improvement.

Scarlet-Blue said...

Mr Mutts: This is probably a good thing! Btw, Internet Explorer won't let me open your blog.
I'm having a lot of computer glitches lately!

Mr Mags: I'm feeling a little better today. I've been drinking a black treacle and milk concoction [sounds vile] cos I think I'm iron deficient. Hopefully this will sort me out.

Sx

mutleythedog said...

You should ditch i.e for firefox or Google Chrome... both like 1 million times better... I am running Firefox for Linux in Ubuntu...

Mia Dickinson said...

My main concern is not about The Houses (although I do prefer Lords...old, Lord-type men + Lord-type men's sons = Young Posh (Rich) Totty surely.

My concern is about elaborate and completely useless activity you are going to uptake and make the public pay for.

May I suggest becoming a Dolphin Trainer in your spare hours?

I've only ever heard good things about it!