Wednesday, 29 July 2009

Domestic Angst

I don't know if any one's noticed but I've actually run out of things to write about. I think I am bloggy blocked. And I have post-angst. I am a post-angstist. Something has gone wrong. I don't have a giant glowing light bulb in my head, instead I have a string of twinkling fairy lights, but they have all fizzed and popped. It's very sad. And Adverts are no longer floating my boat. I have things that aren't very interesting to write. Such as my shopping list:-

Ceramic china ducks
Pink leggings
Leopard print leggings
A House
Hot water bottle cover
Tortoise feeder
Glow in the dark post-it-notes
Pink fringed sateen lamp shade
Plum sauce
Staple gun

I'm also very anxious about the handwriting meme, which I originally saw at Savannah's. I've drafted it in my head, but it's awkward. It's awkward because I was a calligrapher, so it would be like showing off. I am becoming a neurotic blogger.
I think I need a dose of oomph.
And, as an afterthought, how do you get towels fluffy without a tumble drier? Do I have to flap them in the breeze or something... or perhaps use a hair drier and a stiff brush....?

Sunday, 26 July 2009

8 out of 10

I have a visitor. He stays overnight; I give him fish fingers or a nibble on my chicken fillets, but then he buggers off after breakfast. I am a muppet, and shouldn't allow myself to be used in this cruel, thoughtless, heartless way. Sometimes I don't see him for days. I deserve better, but as soon as I've forgotten about him he turns up again, looking dishevelled, slightly the worse for wear, and in need of tender loving care. It will all end in tears...

The funny thing was that he turned up about a week after I had to have my sweet old cat put down. So how did this stray ginger tom know that there were cans of Whiskas going begging? Cats are smart aren't they?

Thursday, 23 July 2009

Play Away

I've been searching for the new UK Always ad. But I can't find it. Last year's ad featured bumper cars; this year's ad features pinball to demonstrate that whilst wearing an Always pad you can still play in your knickers. Sigh. I know the marketing bods at Always are just trying to be creative with a 'delicate' subject, but really... all a pad needs to do is pass the tight white Jeans test and prevent unsightly mishaps on cream upholstery. That's it. Now does the following ad capture this message?

No, it doesn't, it says: Wear an Always pad for the ride of your life....

Sunday, 19 July 2009

Cornish Coastal

It now all feels like a distant memory. Anyhow, I travelled down to Cornwall without making any unnecessary detours into Wales [though Wales is nice]. For a week I ate Fish 'n Chips, ice cream and Cornish pasties. But I got lots of exercise so this wasn't a problem... other than I got chip fat on my camera lens. I also got burnt. The weather can be unpredictably warm. I stayed in Carbis Bay/St Ives. I want to go back....
[And yes, I have been mugged by a flock of seagulls - one will knock the food out of your hands and before you know it you're re-enacting a scene from The Birds].

Wednesday, 15 July 2009

A Credit Crunching Tip...

....SMILE....and give your tits a lift. Please note that this also works for droopy moobs and saggy jowls.
I am in the process of sifting through my holiday snaps/washing clothes/ironing/catching up with Corrie [Oh, poor Molly]/EastEnders [will Tanya never learn?]/ and I'm still finding myself unable to care about this year's Big Brother [I guess the money is on Charlie, he is the most boring] - Actually, I think I only watch bits of BB so that I can enjoy Charlie Brooker ripping it apart....otherwise I wouldn't get the joke, would I? Anyhow, I will have my holiday slide show prepared by the weekend... I think the seagull may feature again...
Meanwhile, here is a toe-tapping tune.

Saturday, 11 July 2009

Postcard From The Edge


Still searching for a decent stick of rock. Food is delish. I am burnt. Wish you were here etc, etc....

Lots of love Sxxxxxxxxxxxx

Thursday, 2 July 2009

A Public Information Film About Buses

Well, how times change... anyhow I'm off now. Catch you later.