Sunday, 1 November 2009

Dreams and Schemes

There is a vague possibility that I may be moving into a 'Live/Work' unit; this is probably the funniest sentence I have ever written. People who know me well will be clutching their sides laughing at this scenario and may even drop dead through the effort of stifling their sniggers. I am not famed for my work ethic. It is also questionable as to how I've managed to survive so comfortably for so long. But as my looks are now falling to my knees I suppose I ought to start making an effort. Even my eyelashes are beginning to need support [I kid you not, the other day I found myself contemplating buying eyelash curlers - something I've never needed before].
So what will I be doing? There will be the removal of layers, rubbing down and touching up. It will involve paint splattered overalls; an electric sander [there is only so much that I can achieve by hand], and a splash of artistry. It will be fun.
It is true, I am a lazy bugger, but when I get the bit between my teeth I am something of a goer.

***UPDATE*** Blimey, it looks like this is actually going to happen. I feel sick. So I might be a little busy over the next few weeks. What a weird year. I've been in a packing and unpacking frenzy. I will keep you updated.

55 comments:

zIggI said...

good lord - only this morning, whilst perusing the sundays, the thought crossed my mind to buy an eyelash curler! Spooky eh?

Scarlet Blue said...

ZIggI: Maybe it's the weather that's making out eyelashes limp? Maybe we'd be better off purchasing sou'westers?
Sx

Kerrie said...

I am sure you will have many offers to help with rubbing you down and touching you up. Or maybe I have got the wrong end of the stick but I am sure an electric sander will not be required.
( Can I borrow your eyelash curlers? )

underOvr (aka The U) said...

Scarlet,

I'm not familar with the term "Live/Work Unit". I know some folks in the health care industry who live with their clients but you indicate something along the lines of carpentry.

Whatever you do, I'm sure you've got the talent to succeed.

Do whatever you feel is necessary for those lovely eyelashes.

U

Chairman Bill said...

Well, I dread to think what can you achieve by hand!

Macy said...

Hey things can't be that bad if you can still support yourself through the "removal of layers...never mind rubbing down and touching up". Rather you than me in this weather though.

Macy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jimmy Bastard said...

Scarlet hen, there is no shame in moving into a "Live/Work Unit", many people go into rehab and come out totally cleansed. Vodka is a curse, but together we will get you through it.

Obviously the fall of your lashes will drive a visible division between our off screen relationship. You know the score hen... trade in the oul banger, ride a swift horse.

tony said...

Do They Sell Eyelash Curlers at B&Q?

Lulu LaBonne said...

Hey - just as I'm trying to move out of my 'Live/Work Unit' you decide to move into one.

Has the queue offering to help you remove those layers already gone once round the block?

eroswings said...

You're either starting work in the theater make up dept or starting a new career as a cosmetologist! I imagine that your bushwhacking skills will come in handy!

Leah said...

Live/work units here in NYC are quite in demand, a real estate coup, if you will. I imagine they might be the same thing there? If so, that's excellent for you. Is it?

LOL to Jimmy's comment.

nick said...

Ha, I think 99% of the population are not keen on the work ethic, the 1% who actually enjoy hard work are genetic anomalies. That's what I tell myself anyway as I slump helplessly on the settee.

I've never used an eyelash curler, am I missing something vital in my life?

xl said...

"I may be moving into a 'Live/Work' unit"

I'm taking this to mean that you are up for parole? Congrats!

Rog said...

Dreams and schemes and circus crowds
I've looked at life that way.

You could have just bunged a sleeping bag under your desk.

KAZ said...

I'm wondering how the word live in "Live/Work Unit" is pronounced.
Will it be surrounded by an electric fence?
Is so - that will certainly make your eyelashes curl again.

Kate Lord Brown said...

Always been more work to live than live to work here too. Is there stripping involved Scarls? Or just buffing up?

MJ said...

There will be the removal of layers, rubbing down and touching up.

Sounds like my day at the spa.

Dave said...

Will do my best to ensure you don't get my bit between your teeth.

Kate said...

Hey some of us are cursed with perma limp eyelashes..... Kate x

Pat said...

I've never been tempted to use the eyelash curlers my grandson gave me.
Are you doing up the house before moving or have you moved and doing that up?
Do tell.

Kevin Musgrove said...

If Live/Work Unit is anything like Work/Life Balance, you're becoming a galley slave!

Z said...

That sounds splendid, especially the rubbing down and touching up.

EmmaK said...

btw re your thinning eyelashes there is a new product called Latisse here promoted by Brooke Shields that grows new lashes (apparently)!! no doubt a total con but might be worth looking into. Good luck on entering the new and scary world of work. Have you thought of getting married as a career option - i did and never had to work again.

TechnoBabe said...

You can do it, and I hope you enjoy the experience. Maybe you have found your niche.

Madame DeFarge said...

Gosh, very modern sounding. As I sit in my executive detached residence, I have visions of you living in some white and chrome paradise. Buy hair rollers instead. If you have big lashes, you can double up.

mago said...

Lost my unit between those hills and bush, Legion comme moi!, art's a dirty job isn't it?

Scarlet Blue said...

I have been wading through two months of ironing. No blogging until the ironing's done, I said. Most of it is done.

Kerrie: I'm a little bit nervous about eyelash curlers, to be honest, but I can recommend Estee Lauder lash primer - works a treat.

Mr U: Fluttering the lashes can get a girl a long way.

Mr Chairman: Mr Chairman! I'll have you know that I have been paid for my fine handiwork.

Macy: It's true, I'd rather be somewhere warm to do the stripping.

Mr Jimmy: My lashes have lifted at the sight of you.
Admittedly you have a similar effect on the rest of my body. I am revived and as frisky as a foal.

Tony: No, but they sell fillers and putty, which sounds promising.

Lulu: They sound like a fantastic idea - much better than adapting a residential property to suit your needs.
My equipment is causing far too much gossip.

I need a cup of tea and a cigarette.

Sx

Scarlet Blue said...

Mr Swings: I will be getting down and dirty. I'm going to get very very mucky... but there will be some beautiful transformations. I hope.

Leah: I'm keeping everything crossed for this unit. I'm hoping it turns out to be the perfect solution - I'll know the answer this time next week. Scary - big life change for the better.

Nick: I shall comfort myself with your words when I slump in my sofa!
No, I've not yet used an eyelash curler... I'm going to perk myself up by wearing a surprised expression on my face - an instant face lift.

Mr XL: It does sound rather drab, doesn't it? Smacks of horse-hair and beige uniforms. If it all works out I will reveal a little more.

Rog: I'm squashed under my desk... dammit, I'm humming that flipping tune now!

Kaz: I need an electric prod to get me working! Curly lashes will be a bonus.

Kate: Plenty of stripping!
Ye gods woman - are you on telly soon? I will pop by to check dates.

MJ: I will also be using tints and waxes. And at all times I will be polite, professional and polished.

Sx

Scarlet Blue said...

Dave: You don't know what you're missing...

Kate: There are some seriously effective primers and mascaras out there, but have you tried falsies? They look very fiddly though... or have you tried drawing a line above your upper lashes?

Pat: I have found a tenant to rent my cottage so that I can move. The sale fell through - it's all been very frustrating - so now this place is being rented out and I'm looking to rent somewhere more suitable in Devon. I'm a little bit arts and crafts... I will reveal more if this little dream and scheme comes to fruition - but this is the most excited I've been about something for a long time.

Kev: Always remember the 90/10 rule - 90% life, 10% faffing around pretending to look busy.

Z: The touching up is my favourite thing!

Emmak: Brooke Shields used to have bushy brows, I reckon she is naturally blessed in the lash and brow department.
I don't know why my lashes have gone limp... they look better today than yesterday, but it made my eyes look tired. Maybe I was tired...?

Technobabe: I seem to be at war with this recession. I thought it had me beat but I'm finding my way round it.

Madame D: You're not far wrong!! I will have to scruff it up a bit.

Mr Mags: Yes, art is a dirty job... but someone's gotta do it.

Sx

Eryl Shields said...

When I tried to use eyelash curlers they ripped all my eyelashes out, which was sore and made me look like Tilda Swinton's ugly sister. So, do be careful, X

Clyde said...

Things always look better after a bit of a touch up.
A new place in a new area---there could be new people to assist with a touch up

mapstew said...

I'm known fer me lovely eyelashes!

But the fuckin' eyebrows have to be trimmed at least every four days or I look like a russian dictator!

And thank feck ya went back to 'normal' Scarlet hues!

xxx

Ponita in Real Life said...

Oh, how exciting, Scarlet! Can't wait to hear if this works for you and you let us in on more details!

I've never used en eyelash curler in my life... but I do have to wear mascara if you want to see mine. They are long but rather light in colour.

I'd be afraid of poking out an eye if I had to use one of those contraptions. xoxo

Donn w/2nz said...

Live/Work unit?
Well what are you living in now?
A Death/Leisure unit?

Just buy some Maybelline Industrial Mascara..the kind Alex & the Droogs wore.

For heaven's sake start having some fun and forget about this fussy make-work project..
you've been watching all of those DIY shows haven't you..honestly?

You got it gowin' on girl :)
*side to side wave of arm and double snap of the fingers

Scarlet Blue said...

Eryl: I'd only use them as a last resort - I have a hunch I'd do the lash ripping thing as well!

Mr Clyde: Yes, I need a breath of fresh air. And something new to keep me on my toes.

Mr Maps: My eyebrows are thin these days - plucking eventually takes it's toll.
Yes - it was a huge relief to return to my usual palette!

Ponita: Eyelash curlers do look too dangerous to go near the eye - I'd be afraid of pinching my lids.
I am excited. I will know more at the end of the week.

Mr coppens: I think 'Death/Leisure unit' is a perfect description of where I'm living now!!!
I just need to do something with my hands. I have loose fingers.

Sx

Liam said...

well all I can say is good luck with the stripping.

Scarlet Blue said...

Liam: I'll be doing it to music...
Sx

Static said...

So it sounds like you've found work as a plastic surgeon...just think! You can now fix that "looks that are falling to your knees" problem with a shiny new pair of implants!

Gadjo Dilo said...

You need to be "something of a goer" in this financial climate, darling. (What's a 'Live/Work' unit, though?)

Emerson Marks said...

live/work unit? Is that legal?

Sarah said...

Eye lash curlers are not all they are cracked up to be. They tend to stick to your already super lashed up mascaraed lashes, ripping them out and leaving you looking like an alopecia sufferer, and a great deal worse than when you started.

Sarah said...

Oops just realised eryl already said that....soz!

BEAST said...

I have worked it out , you have got the Job as Miss Mj's make up assistant. Do I get a prize ???

Whirlochre said...

Weird.

I thought I'd commented on this.

Must have done it in a subsequent life.

Anyhow — I wouldn't worry too much about the eyelash thing. Things don't really start going downhill until you have to use a wheelchair or Hostess trolley to convey your stomach from A to B.

MJ said...

*hits Beast with trowel*

Roses said...

The problem with coming late to a party is that everyone's said what I wanted to say, and better. Humpf.

Sounds like you're a woman with a plan. A formidable force indeed.

Have fun stripping to music. Good to know you'll be paid well.

savannah said...

should i use the snail mail address y'all sent? or is there to be another soon? xoxoxoox

Kevin Musgrove said...

Apparently, you can get tubular eyelashes!

Scarlet Blue said...

Static: I'm working the paperbag-bin liner look. It will be fashionable!

Gadj: A live/work unit is specially designed for living and...er...working... you have to pay business rates etc and the commercial part ot it... but no commuting... or having to get dressed in the morning!

Mr Marks: Just wink at the nice policeman and all is well...

Sarah: Eye lashes curlers have had a big thumbs down!

Mr Beastie: *Also hits Mr Beastie with trowel*

Mr Whirly: I count my blessings that I can see my knees.. and to be honest I am still flexible enough to see most of myself.

Roses: My plans are often quite flimsy! But sometimes they work.

Savvy: No worries - I'll still be here for a few more weeks - but maybe outta here by Christmas!! I'll have a redirect on my mail for a few months in any case.

Kev: Hang on!

Sx

Scarlet Blue said...

Kev: Blimey!!
Sx

Mitzi said...

W**k is a four letter word. Go on the game you'll have a much better time.

I have a pair of eyelash curlers too, for a longer lasting eyelash curl, rub a little vaseline along the flange. I also like to wear a cut down surgical knee support under my wig, it gives an amazing lift, however there is a down side, when taking it off, the face drops, and there looking back at you in the mirror... Peggy Mount!

Scarlet Blue said...

Mitzi: I curse the day when my flange needs oiling.
Sx

Madame DeFarge said...

How exciting. And what will you be doing for the work bit?

Borah said...

Living in a 'live/work' unit doesn't necessarily mean you'll be working harder... if anything, the fact that you live there is a constant distraction from actually working. At least, that's how I've experienced it... When I'm in an office, I feel like I HAVE to work, whereas when I'm working at home, I feel like I'm allowed to check my email, read blogs, make more tea, clip my nails, inspect my eyelashes...