Tuesday, 10 November 2009

Strictly Not Cricket

For chrissakes... what is wrong with me??? It just goes from bad to worse. I am developing a crush. I know the signs. Silly giggling, flushed cheeks etc. And even worse than that I'm now checking out old cricket matches. I'm sure Dave will have something to say about this.
I've had some bizarre mini crushes in my time, but... why am I writing a flipping post about it.....? I should know better and in future I will leave the fetish stuff to Leah.



...And Kerrie will have something to say about this Youtube.

52 comments:

MJ said...

I'm afraid, Miss Scarlet, that this is one of those enigmatic British secrets (like Spotted Dick) that we over here in The Colonies are not privy to.

Please explain both Phil Tufnell AND Strictly Come Dancing at your earliest convenience.

Scarlet Blue said...

MJ: No.
*Hides behind cushion to cover glowing embarrassment*
Sx

Leah said...

Oh my god, the wiggly hips, the sparkles, the smile, I can't really fault you. I won't even touch this one.

Scarlet Blue said...

Leah: This fetish has crept up on me!
Oh God... what am I going to do? Hopefully confession will nip it in the bud.
Sx

Pat said...

Is the crush on Tuffers? He moves well but has a cheeky face.
Quite apt that Scarlet should be blushing.

Leah said...

I say this from long experience with all manner of embarrassing fixations: the only thing to do is to take it and run with it. Run wild, run free!

Macy said...

If it helps you get over it, his wife thinks he's a lazy sod....

Phil Tufnell is a "lazy sod" says his wife

Hope the link works!!

Scarlet Blue said...

Pat: He does move very well! I know he won't win, but I think he should because of that wiggle.

Leah: Oh God... I suppose this is better than my last crazy fixation. [Derren Brown]. It is better, isn't it?

Macy: Yep, the link works! I think it's the lazy/casual attitude that I find appealing - effortless charm. And I do like a man with a sense of rhythm.

Sx

Dave said...

Tuffers reminds me of me in so many ways - not just our bowling styles. It's that cheeky young boy attitude I think. And of course we've both got excellent rhythm.

Whirlochre said...

Fortunately, I can't load the You Tube clip.

Phil Tufnell, I'm afraid, my dear, fills me with a biliousness I normally associate with being force-fed slugs by a writhing gimp.

That said, I stopped watching when Linda Bellingham went out, so what do I know about taste in the opposite sex?

Scarlet Blue said...

Strictly Takes Two has just started...*scream*
Anyhow,

Dave: Please could you send me a clip of your hip movement. And how is your Enchufla?

Mr Whirly: My dear - you're doing a Craig Revel Horwood impersonation aren't you?

Sx

xl said...

"You can't really dust for vomit."

Nigel Tufnel



Oh Hai MJ!

BEAST said...

Yeeeuuuugh!
Is all I have to say Miss Scarlet. I am feeling vaguely embarrassed at having watched the damn thing :-)

Geoff said...

W.G. Grace will be dancing in his grave.

Scarlet Blue said...

Mr XL: Tuffers goes up to eleven!

Mr Beastie: I would have thought you would have been used to this sort of behaviour at the Cafe C Cabaret nights?

Geoff: Well, that'll stop him fiddling with his googlys then.

Sx

Kevin Musgrove said...

Tsk tsk.

He's a lovely mover....

solidgoldcreativity said...

Geez, Tuffers is enjoying himself. There's something about cricketers and bums ... the Aussie cricket team went through an era where everyone had an enormous one that didn't move at all.

nick said...

Strictly Come Dancing and most of the participants leave me completely cold. Not my fetishistic or obsessional cup of tea in any way. Now if you mentioned Claudia Schiffer or Liz Hurley....

As for my really weirdest fetishes, my lips are firmly sealed....

Scarlet Blue said...

Kev: See... even that little clip has made me go all daft... good grief...

SolidGold: No, I can't imagine that Shane Warne can wiggle his bum like Tuffers. It's peculiar, but cricketers over here have done remarkably well on Strictly Come Dancing. I was told [by someone who loves cricket] that it's because they are hyper aware of their body movements. Who needs a footballer?

Nick: Now then, have you ever had a crush on someone who wasn't conventional crush material?

Sx

underOvr (aka The U) said...

Hi Scarlet,

I've never played/watched cricket so I must leave you and your fetish alone for now.

I wonder if the Doobie Brothersever envisioned this song for use in ballroom dancing.

BTW...I do think, "it's a great song".

U

Clyde said...

Ok, I'm off to take my dancing lessons to see if I can bowl a maiden over

Ana said...

Don't forget that the key word in "crush" is "crush." I know from hard experience... very "hard" experience -- and it still wasn't worth it. Still... for a lovely, rhythmic bum... I'm of no use here.

Jimmy Bastard said...

Dear Lord, thank you thank you thank you for creating me in the shape of a man, and not a bloody woman.

Lulu LaBonne said...

OOh yes I've developed a crush on her too Scarlet - she's gorgeous!

Ponita in Real Life said...

Well, Scarlet, he's all yours. I can't say he does much for me...

I think Donny Osmond did better on Dancing with the Stars in the US... and he's *my* age. ;-)

Gadjo Dilo said...

Good grief is that Phil Tufnell?? I am out of touch with what goes on back in Blighty these days!

Chairman Bill said...

So there is it - you like a bit of rough!

Dave said...

The antibiotics have completely cleared up my Enchufla, thanks.

nick said...

Oh yes, loads and loads. Very awkward when it's a workmate and I have to act totally innocent while my mind is fantasising uncontrollably.

Emerson Marks said...

I remember when Tuffers had a bit of beak down playing cricket abroad for England. He went on a bender, wrecked his hotel room, and was found by captain Mike Atherton, crying in the wreckage.

moreidlethoughts said...

Not much of a crickety fan ...I did get a bit excited seeing ollie Milburn take some broad swings. And Gary Sobers! Ooh...I have to go and have a lie-down now.
(in Australia, former stars seem to be on telly selling carpets or jelly.)

KAZ said...

To quote Mr Beastie 'Yeeeuuuugh!'
I saw him in the jungle and wanted him to stay there.
You can do do much better darling - he is not worthy.

Scarlet Blue said...

Mr U: Ha Ha! I think the song suited Tuffers very well.
I don't think I'm much interested in the cricket either!

Clyde: You always bowl this maiden over.

Ana: Crushes on real people are another matter - never again. Not ever - awful experience. This is what celebrities are for.

Mr Jimmy: Are you saying that men are better designed for bum wiggling??

Lulu: Ha ha! I used to be in love with Camilla's legs.. now you mention it.

Ponita: Donny Osmond doesn't age though does he? He's carefully preserved at the age of 29.

Gadj: Wonderful isn't it?! Are you coming back for a visit soon? You'll have to watch the Christmas special to find out what it's all about.

Mr Chairman: Erm... *blushes pink to my roots*

Dave: But how are your googlys?

Nick: I remember! The worse crushes are the ones on colleagues - all the stuttering over the staplegun... and thinking it 'means something' when he throws a screwed up piece of paper at your head.

Mr Marks: Ahhh the poor thing... I would have clasped him to my ample bosom, which would have made him feel better.

MoreIdle: Tuffers is everywhere. TV presenting, dancing, I'm a celebrity, and now the dancing. I think he's done adverts too. Obviously not a lot of money in Cricket?!

Kaz: Apologies!!! It's the sleezy 70's thing he's got going on that has seduced me. And the bum wiggle!

Sx

French Fancy said...

No! Crushes on Tuffers are just wrong. You're a wrongmo i'm afraid.

Scarlet Blue said...

Mrs Fancy: Cheeky! Not to worry, I shall keep him all to myself then.
*adopts huffy pose and sticks nose in air before tripping over a loose rug* - I've never been able to maintain a huffy pose...
Sx

Mitzi said...

I would dance the hornpipe with Phil anyday! It's nothing to be embarrassed about. However, if you had said you fancy having a "chinwag" with Brucie, I would have advised you to unzip that cushion and stick your head inside it. I once developed a crush on Alun Lewis from Birds Of A Feather.

Dave said...

A googlie has never been one of my stock balls. One day I must show you what I can do with a ball.

Kerrie said...

OH MY GOD!!! Scarlet what are you thinking hunny bun? Of all the Striclty eye candy. Matthew Cutler, I will take two to go please. Even Brian is quite shaggable if you pushed his eyes together a bit more.
Now I more than anyone can feel the hypnotic lure of the besparkled man but TUFFERS! I will look more closley this week.
Loving the series overall but I am now worried about it's effect on innocent women . ( well almost innocent )

Scarlet Blue said...

Mitzi: We seem to have similar tastes! Alun Lewis was young and lovely back then.
No worries about Brucie - my cushions are safe.

Dave: My God - I tittered at the thought of playing with your balls. And then I blushed again. I think I must be reaching a funny age.

Kerrie: You dancers have a lot to answer for!! And I so understand what you mean about Brian's eyes.
This series is really open, isn't it? My money is going on Jade... or Ali... or Ricky....?

Sx

Dave said...

You're welcome to come and play with my balls any time. There are a box of half a dozen of them in the garage.

Scarlet Blue said...

Dave: When I have time I will come and polish your balls.

Meanwhile.... I really am moving... in 2 weeks.... I have run out of bubble wrap.
Excuse me whilst I get my life in order. Will be back asap.
SXXXX

eroswings said...

Congratulations on moving to a new place!

In America, we call that dancing show, Dancing with the Stars. I'd watch it, but unfortunately, it competes against my other guilty pleasure, So You Think You Can Dance?. Thank goodness MTV's America's Best Dance Crew comes on a different night with reruns throughout the week.

Dance shows are fantastic fun! They're the new Soul Train and American Bandstand!

Sarah said...

Scarlet, just because you are fantasising about Tuffers', quite frankly, and I'm with you on this one, very sexy arse, there really is NO need to start watching cricket.....gadzooks!

Good luck moving. Take the Rescue Remedy...it will help!. which reminds me I must send some to Dave.

Donn met twee n's said...

He's um..er...like the antidote for a crush on Sean Connery or Gerard Butler.

Whatever floats y'er boat Scarls
:)

Dave said...

I now have glandular fever. I blame you.

Scarlet Blue said...

Mr Swings: One day I will learn to Jive and Jittabug - it looks so much fun, and very good exersise.

Sarah: Quite right - watching cricket is a step too far isn't it?
I'm so pleased that I'm not alone in the Tuffers Club!!

Mr Coppens: Tuffers has charm!!! A bit like you Mr Coppens...

Dave: Was is the suggestive ball action wot caused it??
Apologies, it's late and I can't remember grammar stuff.
I hope you get better soon, glandular fever is nasty. Looks like snogging is off the agenda.

Sx

mapstew said...

There's hope for me yet!

xxx

Word Ver = numblog! I swear!

Scarlet Blue said...

Mr Maps: Numblog!!!
There's nothing numb around here... anyhow, the word we are looking for is 'charisma'... I think you have it, Mr Maps.
Sx

jekandhyd said...

Gosh Scarlet, just seen the results tonight and I understand that you will be feeling a huge sense of loss right now. My advice, let it out, it's normal and will speed the grieving process.

Now there is a school of thought that says that when you fall off a horse you should get on another. Although I'm not particularly horsey, let me know if I can give you a leg up or ease your ride to your next steed. Tuffers, I know, but that's just life

Scarlet Blue said...

Mr Jekand: I am inconsolable.
*SOBS*
PHIL WOZ ROBBED.
Sx

harry said...

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I like to play games on my console and in my pc cricket was one of the favorite game of my..
So this blog will also like me....

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Daphne Wayne-Bough said...

I can't share your fixation with Tuffers, not from the neck up anyway, he's got a face like a scone, but I do understand - I had a similar fixation on Mark Ramprakash when he was on Strictly. I have always had a thing about Lilia Kopalegova and the little Italian bloke. No not Bruno, the dancing one who looks gay but isn't. Good luck with your moving Scarls, see you on the other side.