Thursday, 17 December 2009

Smeg And Nekkid Showers...

Well what a palaver. What can I say... during the past month I have spent at least a week sleeping on the floor of an empty house - no fridge, no furniture etc... it was very hard, but not in a good way. And then, when I finally moved to Devon, the phones weren't connected. Eventually heads will roll. I am not good at suffering. I am good at temper tantrums.
Anyhow, enough of the whinging... the good news is that the Smeg survived....


...but there's still nothing in it...


Is the floor cleaner, Mr Jimmy?

....and I have a question for those who use proper shower cubicles: Do you clean your shower cubicle nekkid?
I do.

64 comments:

Dave said...

Why no photo of you cleaning the shower cubicle?

Rog said...

Nekidding?

Scarlet Blue said...

Dave: Maybe one day, when it's all steamed up.

Rog: Groan....!

Sx

aka k said...

cubicle nubicles .... is there any other way?

Scarlet Blue said...

Mr K: Hello and Welcome! And where is my invite to your blog? My email is on my profile. Most curious.
Sx

Clyde said...

Great moving in without furniture--well mine was here, out in the shed because the house wasn't completed----had to be awake early for the tradesmen.
Yep, I clean the shower alcove while I'm in there, so of course I'm not dressed----I just cant get my cleaning lady to do the same

Jimmy Bastard said...

Much better doll, and all is well with the world again now that you have finally returned to us.

I did however notice that the sell by date has expired on the tub of goose fat on the top shelf.

... you can take the girl out of Reading...

aka k said...

well you know what curiosity did, don't you?

nick said...

So first things first, do I clean the shower in the buff? Good grief no, what do you take me for, some kind of pervert?

A very gender-neutral sort of kitchen - no pussycat, no knitting, no nail varnish, no recipe books. Still, the fridge is the most essential item, I guess. Even if the contents are hardly cordon bleu. Not expecting any visitors, obviously.

Macy said...

Hi Scaarlett! Was your question part of a random marketing survey or some sort of roundabout invite to a mass shower cleaning orgy?

zIggI said...

yep, is there any other way?

fairyhedgehog said...

Glad to see you back.

I don't clean my shower. (I get someone else to do it for me.)

I love your Smeg. I hope it gets filled up for Christmas.

Dave said...

I love Devon. I feel I will need a holiday to recuperate after this semi-deadly disease passes.

You do have a spare bed, don't you?

MJ said...

Do you clean your shower cubicle nekkid?

No. I make the Houseboys get nekkid and scrub it down.

Mitzi said...

Smeg fridges are the creme de la creme of the fridge world. But imagine reaching inside for a babybel, you pull back the shiny red skin and you're just a about to sink your teeth into the lovely round dome when the fridge door closes and the word smeg is revealed, it's enough to make one retch.

I don't do cleaning as a rule, but if I notice some pebble dash attached to the toilet bowl, I have a wee and I'm able to remove the offending object by a controlled jet of high pressured piss. Then I flush and pour bleach down it.

EmmaK said...

When I had a shower cubicle I just scrubbed it a bit while I was showering - a two for one!! Congratulations on the Smeg I think I am in lurve. Oh and Merry Christmas you darling gil.

Scarlet Blue said...

Clyde: Some tradesmen are worth getting up for. Like my sweetheart of a plumber. He's the only man I'd trust with my plumbs.

Mr Jimmy: Goose fat is an anti-ageing miracle cure, the more expired the better. I am 84 and don't look a day over 16.
No, no, no... not Reading, Mr Jimmy. I am a south east lass.

Mr Aka: I am more dog than cat, so all should be well.

Nick: But if you clean the shower cubicle with clothes on then surely your clothes get soggy? Please explain.
I keep the fish fingers in the freezer for my visitors. And the whisky in a cupboard. And I always have nibbles on offer.

Macy: Now a mass shower cleaning orgy could be fun...

ZIggI: Indeed, I mean there's water everywhere in a shower isn't there? I think the makers of shower cleaning products are missing a trick with their advertising.

Fairyhedgehog: You have a cleaner?! You lucky thing!
Yes, I will be doing my Christmas shop soon. The Smeg is incomplete without the smoked salmon and Pink Champagne.

Dave: Yes, I do have a spare bed and I'm sure I would be willing to share a cream tea and a buttered scone with you.

MJ: Do you have pics? I want to see.

Mitzi: How peculiar! Until recently the only items in the Smeg were a pint of milk and a single Babybel! [True]. How did you know???
I think I'm the business when I don't dribble on the seat...

Scarlet Blue said...

Emmak: Yep, that's exactly what I do... but I'm careful not to get any cleaning product on my sensitive parts.
It's lovely to be back and lovely to see everyone again!
Sx

underOvr (aka The U) said...

Hi Scarlet,

I was wondering how you've been. Glad to see you back here in blogsphere. Shower cleaning after I shower.

U

Whirlochre said...

Glad someone else gets down and dirty with the scrubbing brush and Jif.

Glad to hear you're settled in Devon. I lived there for a while myself. It's like Venus, only with more sheep.

Donn said...

Whilst decontaminating the surface area of the pressurized H2O defoliation chamber I like to wear one of my many HAZMAT suits.

I am keenly aware that I am only decimating a tenth of the pickle-dillions of microbial assailants clinging to every nanometer, but every little bit helps.

The good news is that the shower stall will always be cleaner than the dishrag...which I replace every hour and burn the old ones.

So I guess that would be a no.

Z said...

I don't have a shower cubicle and my bathroom is too cold to do anything in naked. I have baths wearing a scarf and a wooly hat.

Scarlet had a baby girl-calf a fortnight ago. They are both well. Scarlet was given a cabbage and some apples when the Sage visited her.

nick said...

Of course they get soggy. Why, are you suggesting there's some way of keeping them dry?

mapstew said...

Hee-Hee... You said 'SMEG'!

Welcome back!

xxx

EmmaK said...

all right darling you have been maimed I mean memed xxx show me what you've got

tony said...

I can go one better than that! (because i get a lot of mold & mildew) i clean the inside naked plus i use some of that moist tiolet tissue stuff to clean the mold on the inside doors & hinges.[ toooo much information???!!!]
Welcome Back!

Sarah said...

Yes I do clean the shower nekkid, it's the only way surely? otherwise how do you get into all the nooooks and crannies without getting wet?

Good to have you back girlie xx

KAZ said...

I have a wall light exactly like the one next to Mr Smeg.
It was in the flat when I moved in and I have learned to love it.
Fascinating eh?

The Unbearable Banishment said...

That Smeg is such a beautiful design that I'm wondering if I could get one converted to a coffin for myself (although no time soon). I'm into recycling.

xl said...

I use some self-cleaning shower cleaner spray stuff. Unfortunately it doesn't work on the rest of the house.

mago said...

I prefer an oldfashioned bath tub. One day I will have one, large, standing free in the room, maybe Oxalis Titanium ...

Kevin Musgrove said...

I see you've gone native already, why else would you have a couple of flat green bowls in your fridge? Have you got the white plimsolls yet?

HoodChick said...

Love the Smeg. Notice that we didn't get a shot of the head being stored in the freezer compartment.

I do the almost nekkid shower cleaning - wearing one of those masks to block the fumes. It does interfere with the drinking though.

aka k said...

That's what those wire racks are for? I did wonder...

Leah said...

Hi Scarlet! So nice to see you. Love the fridge. And as for cleaning showers...I never clean showers.

xo

Pat said...

Good to have you back. I wonder if you are near? Have you discovered Mr Muscle Shower Shine? It's quick and easy - just spray after your shower.

eroswings said...

Hooray! Welcome back! I'm glad your fridge and furniture are back with you.

You can clean the shower nekkid if you're doing some light scrubbing. But put on some clothes and gloves for the heavy duty chemical cleaning.

You can be nekkid on the furniture and standing in front of the fridge.

Respectfully Yours said...

Just starting following. Great blog. Come by and visit me sometime for some laughs and funny posts.

Grump said...

Glad to see you have survived the move. Is it snowing yet?
Always clean shower cubicles naked. The only way to go.
Drop me a line when you are settled.
Woof x

BEAST said...

I clean mine wearing nothing but a shower cap......now theres an image to conjure with :-)

Chairman Bill said...

What's the point of a design statement if you have nothing to put in it?

Roses said...

I confess to hosing the shower cubicle down after I've used it.

Pretty much how I handle most things in my life.

Is that why I'm single, do you think?

Dave said...

I've never used the shower cubicle at this house.

I prefer a bath.

Scarlet Blue said...

Mr U: Good to see you too! And you shower sensibly.

Mr Whirly: I think it's going to take some time to get settled... lots of my stuff is still packed in boxes... AND I've missed the south east snow - *sob*

Mr Coppens: Goodness me but you make things complicated!
It's amazing what can be achieved with a soapy wet sponge whilst naked.

Z: Congratulations to Scarlet!!! Has the baby been named yet?

Nick: Get your kit off!

Mr Maps: Smeg, Smeg, Smeg!!!!

Emmak: I love a good meme and this will give me something to concentrate on. I may give it a Christmas twist seeing as it's that time of year and I haven't really got myself in the mood for it yet.

Mr Tony: Just don't get the mold on your feet... or under your toe nails.
Isn't it amazing what goes on in shower cubicles everyday all over the country?

Sarah: Sensible girl! I'm glad I'm not alone in my nekkid cleaning.
I'm happy to be back!

Kaz: There is a complicated lighting system in this property... I have yet to figure out what all the switches do... I used to make do with fairy lights and candles. Pretty.

Time for a fag break...

Scarlet Blue said...

Mr Banishment: Don't give me ideas!!! Now I never ever need to be parted from my Smeg...

Mr XL: I only clean things that are supposed to be shiny - like chrome and glass... then I just spray polish into the air. It's a lazy illusion of cleanliness.

Mr Mags: ...or what about a wet room? It sounds dreamy...
As an aside - I learnt to swim in the bath.

Kev: Ahhhh... now I'm going to have a look at what you're referring to....
...hang on....

Sx

Scarlet Blue said...

Kev: I have much needed green bottles! And I'm making do with my converse plimsols... things don't stay white for long around me.

Hoodchicky: Ha! that reminds me of the time that I nearly passed out from Milton fumes - it wasn't good. Best to wear a mask for serious cleaning.
My freezer compartment is indeed very scary!

Mr Aka: I have a jolly big rack.

Leah: Does Sarge clean the shower...? Or do you borrow houseboys...? I should borrow some houseboys.

Pat: Hello!!!! We are possibly now in waving distance!! I am near to Crediton. I went to Barnstable on Saturday - so much more civilised than Lakeside or Bluewater. Loving the area so far... and I also really like Exeter. At present I'm located in the middle of a field, it's beautifully quiet - no traffic at all. I think it's going to be wonderful in Spring... though I am a bit gutted that I've missed the snow.
I will get the Mr Muscle!

Mr Swings: Can we have some evidence of you cleaning your shower nekkid?
...no harm in asking... pretty please?

Miss Spectively: Hello and Welcome!! And thank you.

Mr Grump: Another nekkid cleaner! I think there is material here for a whole new blog.
I will drop you a line when I get my act together and the Christmas thing is done and dusted.

Mr Beastie: Is it a pink frilly shower cap? And where on your person do you wear it?

Mr Chairman: I thought that that was the point of a design statement?
I have frozen chips in the freezer... what more do I need?

Roses: Are you hosing down your men?? Sometimes they prefer foam and lots of bubbles.

Dave: I hope you save and share.

Sxx

Hogday said...

Nekkid shower cleaning is an art form. I hope to graduate to the time saving`duplex method` as soon as I have mastered the art of keeping a J- cloth clamped between my bum cheeks.

Frobisher said...

I am rather concerned about the amount of freezer space in the Smeg - have you got enough?

PS - in Devon over Christmas - how will I recognise you?

Scarlet Blue said...

Inspector Hog: Hello and Welcome!!
... is it similar to mastering the art of duplex toilet cleaning...?

Mr Frobi: I think I may pop a long to your stomping ground for a bit of Bingo in the New Year. I think I will recognise you. Don't worry, I always travel with my cosmetic case... I'll have you sorted in no time.

Sx

Leah said...

Scarlet, I have Hedgehog do play-cleaning. And guess what, play-cleaning is the same as real cleaning!

lol

savannah said...

so good to see y'all again, sugar! i clean the shower while i'm in it! xoxoxoxo

Scarlet Blue said...

Leah: Clever! You are a wise woman.

Savvy: I'm home for Christmas!!! And who would have known that there was so much naked cleaning going on?

Sx

Madame DeFarge said...

Oh, I'm so behind the times here. Everyone else has nipped in and pinched all the vol-au-vents. Lovely to have you back, even if the fridge looks decidedly bare. Have they no shops in Devon?

Z said...

The farmer's son used to name the cows, but now he works somewhere else, so not many get named. If she comes to visit us, we'll choose a name for her.

Louise said...

What a lovely SMEG. We have one too, but it's way more masculine. Congrats on your move. However, last time I moved, not only was there not telephone, there was only a patchy roof, there was no wiring let alone no electricity, and there was one measly cold water tap. Thanks for reminding me! It's my first time with you. Here's a big sucky kiss between strangers - I like your style!

the projectivist said...

i just do mine topless.
i hate the way you lift your arm to wipe the top part and Niagara falls pours down to your armpit.

so now i have The Topless Rule.

KAZ said...

Kev's freezer is a Siemens.
D'ya think it's a trend

xl said...

Have a Sx Christmas, Miss Scarlet!!!

Joanna Cake said...

ALWAYS!

I have one of those squeedgy things that windowcleaners have and I wipe down every time.

Good Luck in your new abode and have a very Merry Christmas x

aka k said...

guys, of course, have inbuilt hosing down equipment....

Scarlet Blue said...

Madame D: ...I'm happy with nibbles and sugary pink shrimps.
Happy Christmas!

Z: We could call her 'Dave'?

Louise: Hello and Welcome!
...Are you a renovator? - It's very good in theory, I find, but painful in reality.

Kaz: I had Siemens before I turned to Smeg.

Mr XL: Some Xtra Large lisses on the way to you! Happy Christmas!

Ms Cake: Yes! I now have a squeegy thingy too - very useful.
And a Merry Christmas to you too.
This feels like end of term doesn't it?

Mr Aka: Please don't tell me that you use your hosing down equipment in the shower?

Sx

Scarlet Blue said...

Miss Project: Apologies! I missed you!
Just be careful not to get any mean chemicals over your delicates!
Sx

Kerrie said...

Ooo, so glad you are fine and dandy despite the lack of furniture. My smeggin fridge looks like that all the time.
Any form of naked cleaning is fine by me. The oven can be a bit tricky though. You can actually hire naked cleaners, have you ever thought of diversifying?
I hope you have a great Christmas hun ( can lend folding chairs if you needs them ). xxx

The Spiv said...

I hate to pour cold water (Shower?)on your move to a lovely part of the country, but I fear that your phone isn't disconnected - it's an invention that hasn't quite made it to some rural parts of Devon yet!
Good luck with the move, and I hope that it's everything you want it to be