Wednesday, 27 January 2010

Still Desperate

I have been memed by Emmak to share three classic movie moments that have, in some shape or form, made me buy things/do things/think things that perhaps I shouldn't have.
First up is 'Grease' and Olivia Newton John wearing shiny black lurex leggings teamed with a pair of wooden look mules [£2.50 from Barratts in 1978]. Thankfully my mum saved me from this look - I was far too young... but when I got my own money in 1983 there was really no stopping me. I think a boob tube also featured. Sob. Thankfully all the pics have been destroyed.

As I got older I realised the error of my ways and it was Madonna as Susan in Desperately Seeking Susan who defined my look for the eighties... I was [and still am] also pretty smitten with her lacy mittens [easier for smoking than gloves] and handy storage solutions. I'm still on the look out for a drum case to store my clothes and undies in, and, because of this film, I have an expansive collection of retro travelling trunks and boxes.

The film Pretty in Pink had a huge impact on my life. I applied for a job in Our Price; cut up all my clothes then tried to reassemble the pieces into a fetching evening gown, and I also tried to get off with a bloke who had been to grammar school. Tut. Life just isn't like the movies... I'm not even ginger... and I've since found out that pink really doesn't suit me... And I never got to be an American Prom Queen.... with pom poms.... sob...

I now would like to tag Mr Swings; Kerrie; Kev; Pat; Mr XL; Mitzi and Princess and anyone else who knows me....

...good grief, my spelling... I knew there was something wrong but I couldn't see for looking...

Monday, 25 January 2010

Bucking the Trend

What's all this then? I suppose I am the last one to find out about this? Apparently I am only worth B$288.88. Back in May 2009 I peaked at B$725.96. Why have I been so devalued? What did I do wrong? Did I not flash my knickers in the right direction? Did I not mention my bush enough? I have tried to claim my blog on Blogshares ....but they are having none of it and they seem to be having fun at my expense. I am being used as a mere commodity... a lump of meat... I feel quite hurt. But we all seem to be on there. Mr Beastie is worth B$5,412.11!!! Why am I so cheap???? How do I make my stock go up?
Perhaps I ought to ignore it. Probably only two people playing this daft fantasy game anyhow... mutter, mutter. And one of them is probably Mr Beastie...
I think I need a cheerful Youtube clip to see me through this turmoil.

Thursday, 14 January 2010

A Blank Moment

I have decided to dedicate today's post to the well loved game show Blankety-Blank in honour of Terry Wogan, Les Dawson and Lily Savage. Plus it might make this post more interesting.
Here goes then...
Yesterday I spent my day at ---------- where I had a -------- with Mr Beastie under the stinky ------. All I can say is -------------!!!!***!!! I think he cheated. But I am very grateful to Italy and all who sail in her. I am still ------- the stains off my velveteen slingbacks and I have lost my ----------. Sob. Damn it, I will --------, after all ----------- is another day and there is more than one way to peel a --------. Don't we all know it!
Later in the afternoon I visited Dave, who quite frankly, was soliciting for favours with vulgar -------. I have decided that this year I will be above all that ---------- and he can play with his --------- by himself. And mop up the inevitable mess.
I also noticed that Kaz is having a problem with her ------- [I hope she remembers] and that Kerrie is battling with ferrets that are lost in her ------. I am still working on the ----- for Emmak.
If you have enjoyed this short and ------ post, then next week I will be playing -------- come ----- and ---------- with me.

I thank you. Oh and I might be giving out --------.

Friday, 8 January 2010

A Sign of Good Taste

Here we see Darren. He is hoping to be accepted as an ambassador for the Littlehampton Confectionery Display Team. He is submitting one of the finest examples of his work in their annual ‘Exposure’ competition. It is a grand affair held in a disused leisure centre close to Southend pier and display enthusiasts come from far and wide to exhibit their exquisite confection. For example, competitor Annie has flown in from Amsterdam and has done something gratuitous with a fudge finger fan, whilst Gavin from Gateshead [the winner in 2006] has been imaginative with a Toffee Crisp and a specially adapted 12 inch Twirl. Maggie, a mother of three [the winner in 1908 but never since] has chosen a minimalist/conceptual approach - her piece is entitled ‘Red Smartie with Toothpick’.
So far the judges have been less than impressed, but Darren is confident that he can lick his rivals. Darren has a secret. Darren has golden balls and he knows how to show them. He waits in the wings as poor Simon, a professional kitchen fitter from Stevenage, sobs and stumbles from the judging panel when his Sherbert Fountain fails to font and his Lion Bar goes limp. Darren feels his tension rising, his moment has arrived, he takes a deep breath and walks into the spotlight. His golden balls are piled pyramid high upon a silver platter. A captivating display capturing the essence of ancient Egypt; classic, traditional and in the best possible taste. Darren stands proud. It has only taken a smidgeon of superglue to keep everything erect. Alas, Darren is unaware of the envious Maggie who will do anything to win, and from the wings she gives Darren an almighty shove sending his nutty nibbles into orbit to splatter down across the judges heads. Judge Erica dabs a stain on her frock with a tissue and exclaims, ‘with your display you are soiling us!’. Darren hangs his head in shame, but he is not downhearted. There is always next year when he is hoping to work with Annie. He is planning to weave his magic with a box of custard crèmes and a fudge fingered tart.


Wednesday, 6 January 2010

It's All White...

Who said it doesn't snow in Devon....? and why is Blogger publishing my posts before I've finished writing them? I know I don't write very much, but give us a chance... Anyhow, I was simply going to write: "...and the UK grinds to a halt".... maybe Blogger knew best eh?

Friday, 1 January 2010


A Happy New Year to everyone who has made this blog an enjoyable place to be.
Bottoms UP!!