Thursday, 14 January 2010

A Blank Moment

I have decided to dedicate today's post to the well loved game show Blankety-Blank in honour of Terry Wogan, Les Dawson and Lily Savage. Plus it might make this post more interesting.
Here goes then...
Yesterday I spent my day at ---------- where I had a -------- with Mr Beastie under the stinky ------. All I can say is -------------!!!!***!!! I think he cheated. But I am very grateful to Italy and all who sail in her. I am still ------- the stains off my velveteen slingbacks and I have lost my ----------. Sob. Damn it, I will --------, after all ----------- is another day and there is more than one way to peel a --------. Don't we all know it!
Later in the afternoon I visited Dave, who quite frankly, was soliciting for favours with vulgar -------. I have decided that this year I will be above all that ---------- and he can play with his --------- by himself. And mop up the inevitable mess.
I also noticed that Kaz is having a problem with her ------- [I hope she remembers] and that Kerrie is battling with ferrets that are lost in her ------. I am still working on the ----- for Emmak.
If you have enjoyed this short and ------ post, then next week I will be playing -------- come ----- and ---------- with me.

I thank you. Oh and I might be giving out --------.

61 comments:

xl said...

Do I win _____ incontinence pads?

Kerrie said...

Thankfully my ferrets have moved out and may well now be playing with Dave or Kaz's ------s.

Whirlochre said...

Oh I get it — it's like one of those restaurants where you can bring your own plonk.

Only instead of plonk, it's the unadulterated slurry of pure filth.

Dave said...

That was quite ------. By the way, you left your --------- under the settee.

Scarlet Blue said...

Mr XL: Is your blank 'Fluffy'? Yes? I'm right aren't I?

Kerrie: I'm sure Dave will appreciate the ferrets, he is in need, but I imagine they'll get short shrift as Kaz's.

Mr Whirly: Goodness me! I really don't know where you get your ideas....?!

Scarlet Blue said...

Dave: I know, it's the best way to make toast isn't it?

Sx

Dave said...

It did make a mess on my --- though.

EmmaK said...

My dream which will probably now never come to fruition is to get a Blankety Blank Check Book and Pen.

Robert Swipe said...

"I am still ------- the stains off my velveteen slingbacks"

Vinegar and soda crystals Scarl. Works every time...

I suppose you'll be wanting to borrow my incredibly long, thin ........ now, will you?

;)

L.U.V. on ya,

Bob

Rog said...

Whatever became of sophisticated TV entertainment? Oh yes, it got dumbed down!

KAZ said...

So you didn't win the competition - but we can't help wondering what you did to get the Italian vote.
If it had anything to do with the national football squad - you are a lucky girl indeed.

Kate said...

Wow that ----- made me really -------. Very cool post.

Kate xx

fairyhedgehog said...

Yesterday I spent my day at BUTLINS where I had a ROMP with Mr Beastie under the stinky BLANKET. All I can say is WTF!!!!***!!! I think he cheated. But I am very grateful to Italy and all who sail in her. I am still LICKING the stains off my velveteen slingbacks and I have lost my JOB. Sob. Damn it I will OVEREAT, after all CATURDAY is another day and there is more than one way to peel a ZOMBIE. Don't we all know it!
Later in the afternoon I visited Dave, who quite frankly, was soliciting for favours with vulgar FLOPPIES. I have decided that this year I will be above all that INDISCRETION and he can play with his DONGLE by himself. And mop up the inevitable mess.
I also noticed that Kaz is having a problem with her TOPIARY [I hope she remembers] and that Kerrie is battling with FERRETS that are lost in her UNDERWEAR. I am still working on the TIME MACHINE for Emmak.
If you have enjoyed this short and SULTRY post, then next week I will be playing SCRABBLE come HITHER and TOY with me.

Sorted.

Kevin Musgrove said...

I'm waiting for Lorraine Chase to provide me with a better answer than "Spagetty"

Pat said...

What Fairy Hedgehog said:) Exactly:)

nick said...

Well, I thought this was a respectable family blog and now I discover it's full of unmitigated filth of every description. Really, young lady, you should be ashamed of yourself. What sort of example are you setting to all those impressionable youngsters out there?

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to adjust my Wonderbra and tighten my corset a few notches.

fairyhedgehog said...

That's a little harsh, nick. It's definitely mitigated filth.

moreidlethoughts said...

I think someone didn't keep 'er 'and on 'er 'apenny, did she?

Thankyou for such a ...start to my...

MJ said...

Yesterday I spent my day at Cafe C where I had a kebab with Mr Beastie under the stinky duvet.

What do I win?

Mark Emerson Sanderson said...

Used to bloody love that telly programme. Was allowed to stay up with a Wagon Wheel. Happy times.

Princess said...

Dear Miss Scarlet,
It is good to see that your loss has not dampened your _____. And that your ______ remains intact.
Blankety Blanks in OZ had a very "Camp" but closeted host, who's most memorable chatacter was "Cyril". Cyril was always saying things like, "If you get out your"_____" I will stroke it for you"
It was done Live to air and several times was threatened by the network to be axed for being too over the top with Innuendo
Particularly when it came to "Cyrils" antics. After many a risque episode the swithcboard would go into meltdown!
Thank you for the memories.

Oh and might a suggest a "Detol" Bath for the Mistress' prize?

Mitzi said...

Yesterday I spent my day at THE OLD COCK INN where I had a FINGER OF FUDGE with Mr Beastie under the stinky BRIEDOME. All I can say is !!!!***!!! I think he cheated. But I am very grateful to Italy and all who sail in her. I am still LICKING the stains off my velveteen slingbacks and I have lost my FESTIVAL KNICKERS. Sob. Damn it, I will ECHO, after all DORIS is another day and there is more than one way to peel a FURRY PRAWN. Don't we all know it!
Later in the afternoon I visited Dave, who quite frankly, was soliciting for favours with vulgar GESTICULATIONS. I have decided that this year I will be above all that POPPYCOCK and he can play with his BUTTON MUSHROOM by himself. And mop up the inevitable mess.
I also noticed that Kaz is having a problem with her QUIMBLE [I hope she remembers] and that Kerrie is battling with ferrets that are lost in her BUTTRESS . I am still working on the MONKEY'S HEAD for Emmak.

Lulu LaBonne said...

Have you used all the Tena Ladys yet? I hear Beastie cant wait

Me said...

*Hur hur hurrrr*

"The time has come",
The walrus said
"to speak of many things,
dum dee dum dee dum de dum
and lots of other things."


Here's a blank filler you might like to try:

"You ______!!!! Just _____ and then I'll ______ you just ______ and anyway so there! _____ and afterwards _____ and I'll _____ with_____ hairy _____ and then ____knickers _____ up the _____ *sob temper tantrum*

mapstew said...

....., ... ...... .. ......., custard! And so did she! But without ... ..............ing!

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!

xxx

eroswings said...

Hope you're doing well and warm and cozy, Scarlet!

Watch out for footballers and be careful not to trip on any --ces!!!

Gadjo Dilo said...

I haven't quite got the ferrets out of my head yet. I'm putting "ferrets" in all the blanks now...

Scarlet Blue said...

Dave: Never mind, Shane Ritchie will be round with a box of Daz for a doorstep challenge... any moment now.... any moment....

Emmak: I had the same dream... alas, the closest I got was winning a t-shirt and mug on Defectors on Challenge TV. Richard Orford was cute though.

Mr Swipe: Hello, where have you been?
I'll be grateful for long thin candles? I like a thick wick though.

Rog: Perhaps we should get a team of bloggers together and go on Eggheads?

Kaz: I allowed Italy to relocate to the UK. They are not very happy about this though.

Kate: You are very sweet, but are you suggesting that you need my prize?

Fairyhedgehog: Have you met Dave?!!! Be very careful with his dongle and be very gentle with Mr Beastie....
I think you should win a prize!

Kev: Ha! Poor 'ol Lorraine - always bottom right, but always had the best answers.

Pat: Same here! I wish I'd written that post as well!

Sx

Dave said...

I think we used a little too much butter. Will Daz remove the marks on my ---?

Scarlet Blue said...

Nick: Can we have pics of the new corset?

Fairyhedgehog: It most certainly is - you should have seen the second draft.

Dinah: Have a good day! Yes it's true... I have lost all my pennies in the sand.

MJ: A Banana. Possibly puréed.

Mr Marks: I loved it too. I was entranced by the long thin microphone.

Princess: Believe me, my -------- is seriously dampened. It's beyond soggy.
I did see a few clips of the Australian version when I was searching on Youtube. It looked more risque than our version. We were just a bit smutty.

Mitzi: Another winner! I'm a little blank on the prizes at the moment. I will have a look in my Smeg and see what I can find.

Lulu: He will only use them as ear muffs... or table napkins...

Me: Mail me Sweetie, it's been too long.

Mr Maps: I bet she did. Have you tried squirty cream? It has a similar effect.

Mr Swings: I am thawing! Don't worry I'm capable of tripping over my own shadow.

Gadj: I know.... ferrets are mucky aren't they? Irresistibly mucky...

Sx

Scarlet Blue said...

Dave: You need to rub a little talc into it.
Sx

nick said...

Pics? Oh no, I'm terribly shy and retiring. And my camera seems to have packed up.

Roses said...

I'm obviously too ______, to comment anything _______ on this _______ing post.

Have great weekend honey!

xx

PS. My word ver: hotoo.

It cracked me up.

Scarlet Blue said...

Nick: Just a quick flash then??

Roses: Have a fab weekend too. Save a couple of bottles of something for me!

Sx

nick said...

I'll see if I can get the camera working again. It might be capable of an indecent exposure.

Happy Frog and I said...

What a brilliant post, how do you think of it all?!

mago said...

I am totally blank about it, can't remember of a German version of this.

Dave said...

*tries not to take offence that you haven't replied to my invitation yesterday*

jekandhyd said...

Dear Scarlet. I've just noticed you seem to be having some problems with your computer. Others may have missed it but some of the words seem to be missing from your latest blog. In order to help I visited Bletchley Park last Friday and feed your post into their good old enigma machine. I'm sorry, but you may be getting a visit from MI5 soon as apparently you have been working on some kind of invasion plans

Madame DeFarge said...

It's a challenge and no mistake. I am useless at filling in blanks and may end up placing interesting facts about the history of the British Civil Service (in which I play no small part). That may worry you more than any filth.

MJ said...

We miss you, Miss Scarlet.

Scarlet Blue said...

Nick: Indecency is always welcome.

Happy Froggy: I watch too much telly!

Mr Mags: I believe it only appealed to a few nations.

Dave: Your invitation gave me a fit of the vapours and I've only just been revived.
But many thanks all the same.

Mr Jekand: Yes, I am recovering from their intervention. It's been a dark few days, alas I told them the code: 'Mother's buns are best' - so they'll be knocking on your door in the very near future.

Madame D: Most things worry me, Madame D!

MJ: I am back! I was too embarrassed to say where I was going. A 400 round trip to get my hair cut.

Sx

Scarlet Blue said...

...a 400 mile...
Sx

Dave said...

The haircut was just an excuse to vist Norfolk. I understand.

Scarlet Blue said...

Dave: Sadly I only got as far as Tunbridge Wells...
Sx

MJ said...

If you'd asked, I could have sent round one of my houseboys to give you a trim.

Scarlet Blue said...

MJ: An excellent idea, but it'd been 2 months since my last trim. Horrific, I know. I needed Mr Teezy Weezy to sort it out.

Sx

MJ said...

Have you been maintaining a trimmed bush?

Scarlet Blue said...

Indeed... but more of a forest than a bush. It was so unruly that it was attracting inquisitive squirrels.
Where is Mr Beastie? I have just noticed his absence from my blank post. Is he studying the Piss Book?
Sx

MJ said...

Perhaps Beast has had another "chicken related incident"

Scarlet Blue said...

Did this have something to do with his last chicken related incident?
Sx

Scarlet Blue said...

...looks like he's been posing for sculptors again...
Sx

mutleythedog said...

I ___ myself an enema ___ sucking _ cock by the fountain for which favour I got paid ten pounds because I __ a male prostitute!!

This is fun!

By the way Beastie is __ prison following a fight on ____ night!

BEAST said...

I commented on this post on saturday and its dissapeared , went all blank so to speak . Its a travesty I tell you
***stomps off***

MJ said...

Where is this transvestite of which Beast speaks?

Scarlet Blue said...

Mr Mutts: You are a very ------ man. I can only ---- a tenner on a ------ night. ---- it is ---- good fun for the ------.

Mr Beastie: A fine excuse! Remember to press ------ before scurrying off...

MJ: He's been having wild fantasies again.

Sx

Eryl Shields said...

I was sure I'd left a comment here, but...

Anyway, 400 miles for a haircut? I, for one, appreciate your sacrifice, X

Kerrie said...

Hope you are O.K and have not gone ****. Everyone seems to be missing from blogland at the moment. Maybe it's all the ferrets!

Scarlet Blue said...

Eryl: It was worth every mile! I will be doing it again in March.

Kerrie: Apologies! I'm actually being very lazy. My computer chair is very uncomfortable and the room where it's in is very cold. Kinda puts me off my stride.

Sx

Borah said...

----- ----- ----- ----- laughing ---- ---- ---- the ---- -----!

Scarlet Blue said...

Borah: Thank you!!
Sx