Monday, 29 March 2010


It happens to us all. We have all made fools of ourselves for love. Carol has fancied Derek for 2years, 5 months, 14 days, 17 hours and 305 minutes. And everybody knows it. They work shoulder to shoulder at Halifax radio in the basement of an NCP car park in Buttocks Booth just off Lumbertubs Lane. As Derek waxes lyrical about his sublime hedge fun and the operational efficiency of his assets, Carol finds complementary songs from iTunes on her laptop. Derek talks about pension plans and Carol plays When I’m 94. Derek talks about his back-end load. Carol plays Dark Side of the Moon. Derek talks about ISAs. Carol, now fully inspired, plays Ice Ice Baby and looks tenderly at Derek. At work they are a team, partners between the balance sheets, keeping customers entertained with witty banter and double entry bookkeeping.
But alas, Carol’s emotional capital is not reciprocated. Derek is saving himself for Scottish widow Sandy, who works in the canteen buttering baps and making tea. She is elegant, likes long walks in the countryside, knows a fair bit about air-sea rescue, can play French tangos on the accordian and wears a jolly nice black velvet hooded cape. She is a far better prospect all round. Derek is hoping that Sandy will be agreeable to his large deposit and generous investment as she promises good bonus and isn’t adverse to sudden withdrawal. In Carol, sadly, he is interest free.

Sunday, 21 March 2010

Mr Coppens and his Serious Angst

I am worried. I am worried about Mr Coppens. He seems to be suffering from an excruciating bout of 'social networking fatigue'. What should we do? How can we help him? His dilemma is making me angsty. Perhaps he needs to get himself a pet? Research suggests that heavy petting controls blood pressure much better than drugs. I imagine that a beaver might be a popular choice for Mr Coppens because he lives in Canada. Perhaps he will recover if he indulges in some beaver relief. Big beavers; small beavers; nibbling beavers.... even Mrs Pouncer's glorious sheared beaver may help him. I really don't know. I am lucky as I have a curly coated golden retriever to groom.
Anyhow, this is for Mr Coppens:-

Other news: I have been reading a book!!! [How retro am I??!!] It has a spine and pages made of paper and printed words. And it is non-fiction. I am learning about the history of England. For the time being I blame Henry VIII for EVERYTHING. Even social networking fatigue.

Monday, 15 March 2010

Important Information


Miss Scarlet Blue will be away until Friday due to high maintenance issues. She will also be engaged in making important decisions of a colourful nature.
THIS POST IS FOR INFORMATION ONLY AND REQUIRES NO ACTION ON YOUR PART. If you are in any doubt about the contents of this post please consult a blogger on the nearby blogrol. Or have a nice cup of tea and a biscuit.

Tuesday, 9 March 2010

Happy Birthday to Me!!!

Today I will be indulging myself, starting with playing a good tune:-

Great hair, fab shoes.... I really want a pair of shoes like these... and somewhere to wear them.
I'd also like a Roberts radio; a tub of daffodils; a modelling contract; a yacht; something to cover in Fablon sticky back plastic; an exciting cutlery set and some saucer champagne glasses.
I'm not really fussed about the modelling contract or the yacht, to be honest.

Monday, 1 March 2010

Coming Around Again

Sad news. The eighties revival is over; fashionistas everywhere will be looking for the next big thing. They will look for something to revive from the nineties, but after a brief dalliance with a grungy mohair jumper and a linen trouser suit, they will throw their hands up in despair. By 2018 the sixties will have been revisited fourteen times. In 2014, trendsetters will be wearing eighties sixties retro with a forties perspective... but for now we're at the tail end of the eighties... with a fifties twist...

...How about early seventies with thirties styling...?