Sunday, 21 March 2010

Mr Coppens and his Serious Angst

I am worried. I am worried about Mr Coppens. He seems to be suffering from an excruciating bout of 'social networking fatigue'. What should we do? How can we help him? His dilemma is making me angsty. Perhaps he needs to get himself a pet? Research suggests that heavy petting controls blood pressure much better than drugs. I imagine that a beaver might be a popular choice for Mr Coppens because he lives in Canada. Perhaps he will recover if he indulges in some beaver relief. Big beavers; small beavers; nibbling beavers.... even Mrs Pouncer's glorious sheared beaver may help him. I really don't know. I am lucky as I have a curly coated golden retriever to groom.
Anyhow, this is for Mr Coppens:-

Other news: I have been reading a book!!! [How retro am I??!!] It has a spine and pages made of paper and printed words. And it is non-fiction. I am learning about the history of England. For the time being I blame Henry VIII for EVERYTHING. Even social networking fatigue.


TechnoBabe said...

Blame it all on Henry! Maybe I can blame our snow on the first day of spring on Henry too.

Madame DeFarge said...

(Urgh, I can't play the video. I blame technology). I don't have a pet, which explains so much about my life. Does your book have pictures? All the best books have pictures.

savannah said...

he needs to walk away from the facebook, sugar! and just blog like the rest of us! xoxoxo

Dave said...

I miss my dog. I find it difficult to place the blame on the shoulders of King Hal though.

Sorry. This comment should be full of double entendre, shouldn't it? Instead it seems to bear the silent fall of my tears.

xl said...

Perhaps an import would turn Donn away from the Dark Side.

MJ said...

As I'm here in Canada, I volunteer to deliver beaver personally to Mr. Coppens.

Scarlet Blue said...

Techybabes: Today is now officially to be known as 'I blame Henry VIII for everything' day.

Madame D: The book has glossy colour plates! For once I am reading the words inbetween.

Savvy: He does indeed! Shall we start a petition?

Dave: I miss my real dog too. It'll be two years in November. One day I'll be ready to get another.


Scarlet Blue said...

Mr XL: Goodness me! The Platypus lays eggs!
I think you could be right, Mr Coppens needs the exotic electrical puss to hold his attention.

MJ: ...and you are an exotic electrical puss!


Kevin Musgrove said...

You're back: that's a relief, I was seriously worried about the length of that birthday hangover!

I can understand the angst: the most comments I ever get are for one-line posts. I like having the indiscipline of the blog there to play with, though. Facebook's good for sharing stuff quickly but not for serious tomfoolery.

Dave said...

Perhaps I could come and stroke your retriever.

Happy Frog and I said...

How about the Salish Sucker as a pet? This fish is native to Canada but is becoming threatened by urbanisation, particularly from the prevelant use of Twitter and Facebook which has begun to affect its mojo. Life sucks, and this little fella knows it but keeps on going none the less.

As for Henry VIII, will a day to blame him for everything be enough?! Shouldn't we get a Bank Holiday weekend at least?!

donn w2Nz said...

BEAVER! Ha..That was a delightful little clip.
Not to worry Scarls I have the entire deconstruction of the blogosphere laid out in me 'ead.

Like Video killed the Radio Star this is a natural progression of technology overpowering the governor in our cranium that regulates social intercourse.

We are still lugging around the same brain that we had back on the Savannah and that dial is set at about 150ish relationships...clan sized.

The problem of overchoice is the unavoidable collision between what the human brain can absorb versus the unlimited number of connections that can be made on the interwebs...even if most of ths shite on the web is the same stuff being siphoned through Twitter, Facebook & Blogger.

The whole thing is going through a Darwinian funnel...web users are going to decide why they are online and find the appropriate forum.

It's actually quite exciting because if all the bloggers took over Facebook we could rule the social media world...punt the f*cking corporations and asshat app providers and have the easiest networking system on the'd save about 3 hours a day.

I sound like a crazy person? hahahahahahahahahaha

Roses said...

You give us Beaver!

I have a black cat which I often stroke in between sessions of FB and blogging. The trouble is, I really should be fitting in some work in between the stroking and the internet....

Rog said...

I must say I preferred the original by Eartha Kitt, if only because she was named after burying feline creatures.

Sarah said...

All hail the Donn.

LUUUURVE the beaver, so damn sexy

Scarlet Blue said...

Kev: This is why I keep most of my posts short!
It's tough to do a proper blog round up these days... I used to skim read, but I've decided that I'd rather read less posts and read them properly than skim read every single one.
I'm going to chill and take things in my own time. Which is quite slow!

Dave: The retriever likes a good bone.
[Did I write that?]

Happy Froggy: One of these! Bloggers can relate to the Salish Sucker! See here.

Mr Coppens: We will indeed take over cyberspace. One day. As they say: The meek geeks will inherit the virtual earth.
But, no pressure... in our own time.

Roses: You raise a good point. We need time out from all this social networking.... too much of a good thing etc. I like blogging; I like reading; I like watching soaps; I like playing my sax; I like writing and painting... and there is also the working thing. How does someone like me, who is rubbish at multi-tasking, fit it all in?

Rog: You are a cruel man!!

Sarah: ...and you're another one who has defected!


Dave said...

I couldn't possibly comment.

mago said...

They want facebook, let them have facebook - HA!
Book facing facebookers surely are helpless. While a bloggeresse facing a real book knows what to do.
I am not sure that some beaver would lure Donnn back into blogging mode - maybe he had it all?

Poor Henry: women, bishops and other dignitaries, all he had to get rid of ...

Heff said...

The best thing for fatigue is a simple BREAK. Sorry.

The Unbearable Banishment said...

Are you reading Wolf Hall by Hilary Mantel? It's on my list.

Mr. Coppens is a big whiner. He has 80 followers. I'd die for half that amount.

Kerrie said...

Poor Mr Coppens. A lttle heavy petting may help but as long as it isn't in the swimming pool because there are signs warning against that. I love the saturday night beaver but you can't beat petting your pussy. ( Well someone had to say it ).

eroswings said...

I'm sure Donn just needs a little more sunshine to fully recharge his cells from the long Canadian winter--although the Olympics and Paralympics sure did get them Canucks fired up and start kickin a$$!

Perhaps some tits would help Donn feel more upbeat. Nothing is as exciting as watching a pair of tits playing up and down on a piece of wood.

nick said...

Social networking fatigue? A cold shower, that's the only answer. Or a good spanking. Or even a bad spanking.

Reading a book indeed. The next thing you know you'll be getting IDEAS and CONCEPTS and then where will you be? It'll all end in tears.

I don't blame Henry VIII, I blame the parents.

Princess said...

Poor Mr Coppens and his angst.
Perhaps he could try Quill and Parchment just for a while?
And as For Mr Xl and his purloining of my pampered platted puss from the "Palais Presrvatorium" How very dare he!

Yor dancing Beaver was Quite a shock Miss Scarlet, You were obviously absent from your post whilst partaking of lessons one can only assume.

KAZ said...

How strange - I've also been reading about Henry recently - he reminds me of Mr Coppens.
You know - a bit larger that life.

Pat said...

All the more reason to steer clear of Face-book Twitter et al.

Scarlet Blue said...

Dave: Probably wise...

Mr Mags: We have to practise even more underhand tactics to lure Mr coppens back then.

Mr Heff: Quite so!

Mr Banish: My Mum is reading Wolf Hall and it was this that got me interested - I thought I'd read some background information before reading the novel.
The only history I did at school was in relation to the second World War and the Russian Revolution - there are huge gaps in my education!

Kerrie: You're pussy is spoilt rotten, I wager.

Mr Swings: If we can't seduce him with Canadian beaver then we will flash him the Great British Tits.

Nick: Concepts and ideas??? I think I need another book...

Missy Princess: Oh yes, quill, parchment and snail mail! It has it's charm. I think Mr Coppens needs a rest and a pillow plumper. He has been blogging for five years - a very long time. I think all bloggers who make it that long deserve an award for services beyond the call of duty.

Kaz: He is most certainly larger than life, but hopefully he's nicer and he's not going to chop anything off.

Pat: I dip my toe in to keep up with Mr Coppens, Mrs Pouncer and Sarah. But mostly I find Facebook too fast and noisey... too many distracting games and quizzes!


donn w2Nz said...

I would like to clarify that I am not whinging aboot all of this..
I LOVED blogging, but started getting into trouble and dug a hole for myself when I tried following 200 blogs.

I always felt that it was unfair to expect anyone to comment on my postings if I had not read & replied to their post...especially since my blatherings were such a blatant confirmation of my encyclopedic ignorance of Life.

So, trying to stay vigilant and read atleast 30 blogs every evening took it's toll over the last year or so and it really started to harsh my mellow :)

I don't want to give up on social media because I love how it connects people around the world...
sure we congregate with like minded souls but it lessens my sense of alienation.

I agree that 80% of Blogs are a pickle-dillion times more intimate and real than 80% of the FaceBook crap and it's veneer thin existance as a data mining jackpot for conglomerates but I can cover more ground and keep fresh there it 'tis, I'm just shallow and selfish.

just sayin'

Lulu LaBonne said...

I've now forgotten the brilliant beaver and am intrigued by Donn's 'Fresh Horses'

Dave said...

History is my hobby (I've also had a biography published) I've got shelves of history books of covering all the periods. When you visit Norfolk, then, there will be plenty to keep you amused. You can curl up on the rug with a thick tome.

Scarlet Blue said...

Mr Coppens: You are impossible to soothe! But I agree and totally understand the guilt... I'm often reluctant to post if I haven't been round the blogs, which is probably why I'm down to posting once a week. Facebook feels more chilled in that aspect... but blogging feels like a more personal experience.
You could do a big once a month post?
And what happened to the Freakin' Green Elf shorts... did I miss it?

Lulu: He's getting ready for a big win on the Grand National perhaps?

Dave: Do you not have chairs and cushions?


Dave said...

I have a thick rug. What more could a woman want?

Macy said...

Oh a book - fantastic! No fear of the batteries running out whilst you're just getting to the climax!

mago said...

Fresh horses? Did not realize that Donnn has something with horses. Or is it an horse-problem? Yes, the shorts! One can not just fade away, one has to go with a "bum" and TFGES sould be Donnn's bum!

mutleythedog said...

We all get completely fucking fed up with all this pointless shit sometimes..,.

Gadjo Dilo said...

Not bad, but Alvin and the Chipmunks was even better!!

Scarlet Blue said...

Dave: A stair lift and an early 19th cent French Oak Marriage Armoire would be nice.

Macy: Indeed! And I have a handy candle in case of power cuts.

Mr Mags: So I'm right in assuming that Mr Coppens still has the FGES?

Mr Mutts: Yep... but we blog through the pain barrier.

Gadj: Just for you then, as my beaver isn't tempting enough...


nick said...

"We blog through the pain barrier." I like it. I'm a blog pro, I carry on regardless, never do I say, Sorry, I'm a bit tired tonight, and I've got a headache, and anyway it's my time of the month.

mago said...

I never heared something else: Cyber Pete, the Danish Dynamite delivered, so they must rest in Donnn's drawer.

Vicus Scurra said...

I appear to have arrived here somewhat late - please blame the overload as explained by Mr Coppens for that. If you are blaming Henry, please hold your judgement until you have finished the book, at least until you get up to Thatcher. There were a few things wrong before she arrived - Leicester City losing the 1961 cup final for instance, or the white acid I took in 1971, but this comment box is too small for all the stuff that we can blame on her.
She is probably responsible for Donn's anxiety.

BEAST said...

Silly old Donn , how can he ham it up on Facebook with his big shark Photo essays.........pah

Kerrie said...

I too feel compelled to try to read everyones blogs before posting and it can get very out of control.
Facebook is to blame for a lot of things.
I think the rumour about my pussy must have started on facebook.

Clyde said...

Maybe a muskier little fury beast would be more acceptable.

Henry is to blame for everything---he did have an unusual slant on divorce

Scarlet Blue said...

Nick: You are indeed a pro.
I am sucking a Neurofen Meltlet as we type.

Mr Mags: Mr Coppens does have the shorts! Hopefully the competition is imminent. I believe Mr Coppens needs some occupational daftness.

Mr Vic: Hello and Welcome!
Do not worry, my box is large. Possibly even large enough for the whole of Leicester City...?
But thoughts of Mrs Thatcher have me reaching for another Neurofen Meltlet. It will be the third today.

Mr Beastie: I know. Facebook is visually very cramped. I can't get on with it... and there's stuff flying around all over the place. Too messy.

Kerrie: Do you use Google reader? I find this the best way of keeping up... and subscribing to follow up comments is a blogging time saver.
But yes, sometimes I'm in a right emotional muddle about it all.

Mr Clyde: Henry chose whichever religion suited his ends. Quite literally.


Joanna Cake said...

I think you'll find that Henry used to execute people for social networking. It gave them ideas above their station and no one was allowed to have a bigger following than the King.

Scarlet Blue said...

Ms Cakes: It seems Henry used to execute people for a lot less!

Crabbers said...

Henry VIII Avait la dent longue ( comme les castors !) Prendre la jeune veuve de son frère aîné, Arthur( Catherine d'Aragon ) après avoir vérifié que la première union n'a pas été consommée ...Et après constatation de virginité du pontife Jules , " à moi la dot " ce "barbe-bleu" nous a bien cassé les pieds sur les côtes françaises !!!!!!!!!!!Calais n'est plus terre Anglaise !

M. Coppens n'a pas l'intention d'y débarqué !? De toute façon il n'y a pas de castors chez nous !! ( sauf chez les scouts !)

L'odeur du lilas
m'arrête un instant.

Entre les pages du livre
Une fleur de pommier
offerte par la BISE ...

EmmaK said...

I think all Mr Coppens needs is a few nights with MJ and her beaver and he will be right as rain.

donn w2Nz said...

Dearest Scarls,
Thank you for your concern.

Most folks have correctly ascertained that I am a big whiny baby who is "completely f*cking fed up with all this pointless shit" and just needs;
Beaver, exotic electrical puss, a good book, cold shower, Salish Sucker, just walkaway, sunshine, spanking, just get laid for crissakes, or amble oot-of-doors and appréciez le parfum des lilas dans le pré.

mago said...

Well, Donnn, don't say the people wouldn't care for you ...

Mitzi said...

Embrace your inner bibliophile and viva la beaver!

Scarlet Blue said...

Crabbers: !!!
Had Henry VIII tooth long (like beavers!) Take the young widow of his elder brother, Arthur (Catherine of Aragon) after verifying that the first marriage was not consummated ... And after finding the virginity Pope Julius, "to me dot" that "blue beard" us has broken foot on the French coast !!!!!!!!!!! Calais is more English land!

Mr. Coppens has no intention of landing!? Anyway there are no beavers with us! (Except among scouts!)

The smell of lilacs
pause for a moment.

Between the pages
An apple blossom
offered by the BISE ...

I don't think Mr Coppens is intending on invading France! But you never know. And he probably smells quite nice.

Je ne pense pas que M. Coppens a l'intention d'envahir la France! Mais on ne sait jamais. Et il sent probablement plutôt sympa.

Emmak: ...or he should be clasped to the breasts of the Great British Blue Tits... he will recover!

Mr Coppens: Everything in moderation! Too much Salish Sucker and you'll be back where you started.

Mr Mags: Well said, Mr Mags.

Mitzi: Perhaps I should get a book about beavers...?


mutleythedog said...

After a while I simply lose track of who I know and what I have done on line....

Jimmy Bastard said...

I'd hazard a guess and say that Mr Coppens is gloriously drunk somewhere, and cannae give a rat's (let alone a beavers) arse about networking of any particular kind.

As for English history, I particuarly enjoyed the bit where they tried to conquer Scotland and failed...

Kevin Musgrove said...

This is yet another piece of evidence suggesting that Jimmy has been given inside knowledge of my love life in the 1980s...

dinahmow said...

When reading the comments takes longer than reading the post...

I deactivated my stupid Facebook. Never wanted it in the first place, but a friend said she'd be able to keep in touch via Fbook. Haven't heard from her since then!

Could I blame King Hal for our cyclone, d'you think?

Borah said...

I'll not quote the urbandictionary defition of beaver - but I do think that type of pet is THE remedy for almost every type of fatigue known to mankind :)

My boyfriend says that if I take a pet, he'll want to eat it. Now he even wants me to take rabbits. I never thought I'd be so upset about someone trying to convince me take a pet.