Tuesday, 20 April 2010

Election Special!!!!

For those of you who are still dithering over who to vote for, here is a simple guide:-

For those of you wishing to keep the Tories out - vote Liberal.
For those of you wishing to keep Labour out - vote Liberal.
For those of you wishing to keep the Liberals out - vote Liberal.
For those of you wanting a Labour government - vote Tory.
For those of you wanting a Tory government - vote Labour.
For those of you wanting a Liberal government - vote Green.
For those of you still confused - vote for Icelandic Volcanic Ash Party [They are environmentally friendly and have already grounded many planes.]

I hope this alleviates all confusion. The rule is to never ever ever vote for what you believe in. This is social death. Be cunning and always keep'em guessing.

57 comments:

xl said...

I like to vote for whoever will give me more stuff.

MJ said...

I vote for whomever the voices in my head tell me to vote for.

Oh Hai, XL!

Dave said...

I'm launching a Bloggers, Twitter and Facebook Party, which, with the millions of votes at our command will sweep into power.

Fancy being Home Secretary?

MJ said...

Miss Scarlet has no time to be Home Secretary as I've just appointed her Official Beautician at my place.

fairyhedgehog said...

Scarlet Blue for Prime Minister! It would make politics so much more entertaining.

Princess said...

"Jo B" for PM.

She at least tells knob jokes instead of just being one...

jekandhyd said...

Call this a democracy? Ha! Why is there no Plaid Cymru candidate in Oxford. People should be given the choice

nick said...

Huh. Here in Belfast we can only vote for the Tories. Labour and Liberals don't stand for election. We have our own special political parties, mostly sectarian nutters.

As for the Icelandic Volcanic Ash party, they won't be getting my vote either as Jenny is still flightless and stranded in York.

I think it'll have to be the Monster Raving Loony Party again. Or the Burn All Bankers Party.

Dave said...

I would hate there to be any misunderstandings. When I said 'Fancy being Home Secretary?' I did not mean that you would have to come round to my house and take things down (in shorthand).

Perhaps I should have asked if you'd like to join me in the cabinet.

The Lovely Bones said...

Morning Scarlet,

I say vote Scarlet Blue....you know it makes sense and what fun it would be....on the other hand if voting made any difference.....they wouldn't let you do it.....ohhhhhh....I'm just so cynical today.

Rog said...

Good advice!

And Scarlet Blue covers the political colour spectrum anyway.

hausfrau said...

I'm so grateful for the explanation. I'm sure I'll vote now I know it won't be wasted.

The Lovely Bones said...

Rog.....very deep....erm yes...

Oh and another thing....

Scarlet,

A tune to vote by.....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tHlYLt7Vt2c

Happy voting....or not everyone....

TLB xx

savannah said...

well, as we say down heah (and in chicago) vote early and vote often! :D xoxoxo

Oh Hai, XL and MJ!

The Unbearable Banishment said...

I read that the UK just had their very first televised, U.S.-style debate. Did you watch? How did it go? Our "debates" are so scripted that they're almost always a waste of time.

Scarlet Blue said...

Mr XL: Now that's just greedy!

MJ: ....so do I...!

Dave: I do indeed fancy being Home Secretary... I'm already planning what to use my expense account for... and it's not paper clips.

MJ: I will use my expense account to buff up my clients at Infomaniac!

Fairyhedgehog: I'm sure I could be just as popular as Nick Clegg!

Missy Princess: She would be fab! She really has got a wise head on her shoulders.

Mr Jekand: Hello stranger!
You will have to start your own branch of the Llais Gwynedd party in Oxford. It is your duty.

Nick: Irish politics?
*Runs for the hills*
*very fast*

Dave: I will take down what ever you want and work very hard on my position.

Ms Lovely: I'm also a cynic. I wish to be proved wrong.

Rog: I do cover a multitude of sins. Even Dave.

Hausfrau: Hello and Welcome!
I'm very pleased to have been of assistance.

Ms Lovely: Coldplay?

Savvy: I always turn up. What I do when I get there is another matter!

Sx

Scarlet Blue said...

Mr Banish: I watched most of it. At the beginning they all looked scared stiff. It did feel quite scripted. I think they should have had them sitting on a big squashy sofa together. Then they should have got them drunk. Then we would have found out what they really think.
Good idea eh?

Sx

nick said...

Very wise. The hills are much more attractive than the politicians.

Your suggestion for the great leaders debate is perfect. And if the presenter had been Kirsty Young, they'd have been totally discombobulated....

The Lovely Bones said...

Scarlet.....yes Coldplay.....is this a problem?....

TechnoBabe said...

Over here they keep us guessing. We don't stand a chance. Well, maybe a little better chance since 2009, the previous eight years were the worst.

jekandhyd said...

Sorry I've been away so long, popped out for some milk & got lost on the way back sort of thing. Anyway, I think my ideology is more Llais y Bobl than Llais Gwynedd. Mind you, I was, in truth, dragged onto The Politics Show last election to moan about education. I think the BBC have learnt their lesson and won't be asking me back.

I've often tried standing as an independent, though, but always seem to lose my deposit

mago said...

Is British politics as ugly rotten and evil as in the rest of Europe?

EmmaK said...

I caught a glimpse of some tedious debate on UK tv the other day where the different candidates had red, blue and yellow ties on - like how retarded would you have to be to not know which candidate was which without the color coding? The uk has obviously gone down the politics for retards route since I left its shores!

the eternal worrier said...

Hey thats very funny but I still dont know who to go for!

Happy Frog and I said...

My cousin is going to vote for the candidate she feels is most attractive. Therefore I think I might be voting none of the above. Unless you are standing SB?

Jimmy Bastard said...

Is it too late to vote for Screaming Lord Sutch?

At least he's believable!

Kerrie said...

The Icelandic Volcanic Ash Party have also banned all imigration. ( A bit drastic ).
I am very confused now but I thought you were going to vote Cosmic kitty? He was counting on you.

Eryl Shields said...

Thanks for this Scarlet, I need all the help I can get.

ziGGi said...

I'd like to be foreign secretary please - I will send post cards.

Lulu LaBonne said...

I was going to stand - but it made my legs ache

nick said...

Jimmy, Screaming Lord Sutch died in 1999, but the Monster Raving Loonies are standing. Not sure where, mind you.

nursemyra said...

I love Jo Brand. Have you seen her in "Getting On"? It's hysterically funny

mago said...

Is there a Beer Party? I know that a German once existed and a Czech ...

Pat said...

Excellent video!

Kevin Musgrove said...

The World Domination League would get the ex-pat vote.

eroswings said...

I'm not sure why y'all are even having elections. I mean, doesn't the Queen decide who keeps their head and who doesn't?

I hope your candidate wins, Scarlet B! Gov't works when people participate!

Jimmy Bastard said...

Nick, even dead... Lord Sutch is still on for my vote! The 'Serves' have been dead in the water for years, why bring them back now?

Scarlet Blue said...

Nick: My mounds might also prove distracting.

Ms Lovely: So-so...!

Techybabes: Yep, you've had a big change. I wonder what will happen here.

Mr Jekand: It's worth a punt though.
Were you really on The Politics Show?!

Mr Mags: It's a work in progress... there's more of a smoke screen here.

Emmak: This is funny because I saw David Cameron on the news last night and he was wearing a pale blue tie. I wondered if he was feeling less conservative than usual. And can Gordon Brown really get away with pink?

Mr Worrier: Close your eyes and see where your cross ends up.

Happy Froggy: I may give it a shot!

Mr Jimmy: Oh happy days!
There is always The Natural Law Party... remember the yogic flying broadcast?

Kerrie: Apologies! Of course I will still vote for cosmic kitty!
The Volcanic Ash Party are now trying to infiltrate Canada.

Eryl: I'm always pleased to be able to educate and make sense of current conundrums.

ZiGGI: Where would you like to go first? I will put your sun cream down on expenses.

Lulu: Can I not tempt you with a 4ft podium and a glitter ball?

Nick: This might help.

Nursemyra: Hello and Welcome!!
I'm ashamed to say that I haven't seen it. I will look out for it in the future because I'm a big Jo Brand fan.

Mr Mags: No, but there is a Fancy Dress Party.

Pat: Thank you, Pat.

Kev: Why are you ex-patting?

Mr Swings: Blimey, don't bring the Queen into it... we've got enough problems...

Mr Jimmy: Are you coming to The Fancy Dress Party?

Sx

kyknoord said...

Too lazy to vote? Tell everyone you're an anarchist.

The Lovely Bones said...

Mr Swings!!

Don't bring the German's into it pleezeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

mutleythedog said...

This has not really helped. I just thought I should mention that.

eroswings said...

Germans? I thought Liz married a Greek!

nick said...

I still can't decide who to vote for. The Popular People's Front look good but the Democratic People's Front might have the edge....

Malc said...

That sounds suspiciously like official SNP policy to me.

mago said...

We are not invading, this time.

Scarlet Blue said...

Kyknoord: I might draw some pretty pictures on my ballot paper... or write a rude comment.

Ms Lovely Bones: It's all Greek to me...

Mr Mutts: Sorry. I did try though.

Mr Swings: Actually he's quite an interesting chap.
Prince Philip.
I imagine he's a little confused.

Nick: I've confused myself!

Malc: I've just noticed that!

Mr Mags: Did you invade last time?!

Sx

tony said...

This Time I Am Going To Put a ? instead of a X

mago said...

Me? I never invaded nothing.

The Lovely Bones said...

Scarlet,

Re Prinz Phillip....following the link.....

The Duke of Edinburgh" redirects here. For other people known as Duke of Edinburgh, see Duke of Edinburgh.
"Prince Philip" redirects here. For other people known as Prince Philip, see Prince Philip (disambiguation).

Confused you will be....

Have a nice weekend SB.

TLB xx

Madame DeFarge said...

I daren't vote. I have to worry about who comes in anyway. Vote for the ones who keep me in a job.

Kevin Musgrove said...

@Madame DeF: are you becoming a consultant then? (o;

I'll be glad when the election's over so that I can be rude about politicians without breaking the law.

mago said...

Philip by the way has a very interesting cv. And what one can learn from him - whether he's confused or not - is loyality. He may no be the brightest, but he does what has to be done. And that alone is remarkable. He and Elizabeth really survived the test of time.

Gadjo Dilo said...

Thanks for the advice, Scarley! (Is the Monster Raving Loony party still fielding candidates??)

Macy said...

Oh relief! I thought with the colour scheme you were going to tell me I had to vote SNP...

eroswings said...

I should very much like to be Phil someday: Married to a rich and powerful woman, living the luxurious life of a kept man!

Scarlet Blue said...

Tony: I think that's a very good idea.

Mr Mags: Not even the fridge?

Ms Lovely: I am perpetually confused but I still managed to have a very pleasant weekend.

Madame D: It must be like walking a tight rope?! Is this an exciting time for you?

Kev: Feel free to break the law!!!

Mr Mags: I was surprised when I read the link. There's more to Philip than meets the eye.

Gadj: I misread your comment as 'fiddling with candidates'.... either way, the answer is yes!

Macy: It's all a bit different where you are... English politics is confusing enough!

Mr Swings: I shall keep you in mind...

Sx

Clyde said...

Living in an area that has always been a safe seat, my father drilled into me----vote for the Communist---he'll never get in but you might help him get his deposit back