I will be absent from my blogging post for 2 weeks from Sunday. Is this because:-
a) I am jetting away on an exotic holiday.
b) I am standing trial for my crimes against advertisers.
c) I am standing trial for my unruly bush.
d) I have become embroiled in a relationship with a handsome Welshman.
e) I am improving my arsenic bleaching skills for my role as Official Infomaniac Beautician.
During my absence I will be wearing:-
b) A smart Vivienne Westward suit. With purple velvet sling-backs and a feather boa.
c) A wry smile and a short denim skirt from Primark.
d) A wax jacket and wellies.
e) A white straitjacket.
I am hoping to attain:-
a) An all over suntan.
c) Understanding and a freebie bic razor.
d) Toned hips and thighs.
e) An internationally recognised qualification.
To do this I will be:-
a) Slathered in coconut oil and wrapped in tin foil and baked at 230 degrees.
b) Lying a lot.
c) Pleading for mercy.
d) Walking for miles and throwing a ball for my new man.
e) Fiddling with test tubes and learning how to have a steady hand with a spatula.
Whilst I'm away you will:-
a) Miss me.
b) Send me money to pay for my counsel.
c) Laugh at my predicament.
d) Wait for photographic evidence.
e) Book an appointment with me so that I can practice my new and groundbreaking skills.
For answers please look in the comment box. I thank you for your participation.