Tuesday, 8 June 2010

A Warning To Travellers

Mr Beastie writes: New post !!!! Hurry up. Well, I'm a little behind so to keep the peace I will have a rummage through Youtube and see what I can throw on the screen... hang on... I won't be a minute... make yourself busy and play with the Victorian lard sculpting tool whilst I choose something suitable....

Er... well Mr Beastie, you did ask me to hurry up, so I bring you this stern warning from the 1940's....



All explanations gratefully received. Thank you.

37 comments:

aka k said...

Never mind the video clip, I'm confused enough by "a little behind" and "lard sculpting" in the same sentence

nick said...

Ooer. I expect we'll be getting a similar warning soon. After all, the country's drowning in debt and we don't want any unpatriotic blighters taking oodles of lolly abroad when it's desperately needed at the jolly old Bank of England. So remember, no more than a fiver when you're bowling off to Monte Carlo!

mapstew said...

How much is that in Euros?
(Not a feckin' lot these days I suspect!) :¬)

xxx

MJ said...

I didn't catch that.

HOW much did he say?

I'm applying my slap with that lard sculpting tool.

Young at Heart said...

oooh the perils of foreign travel....wise words indeed....

xl said...

I think it has something to do with preventing that fellow from giving more than £5 in tips at that Parisian cabaret.

Oh Hai MJ!

Whirlochre said...

We all know Michael Portillo was the Ribena Kid, but I never knew his dad did public information films like this.

And what a shame it is that this version of 'abroad' is now extinct. I do so wish I could have gone there.

Scarlet Blue said...

Mr Aka: I kind of noticed that I'd written this... and hoped that nobody would put the two together!

Nick: I'm surprised that they're letting any of us on to aeroplanes to go for our holidays... Ahhh... yes... they have tried to put a stop to that haven't they?

Mr Maps: It probably wouldn't get you a tester pot of paint and a paint brush... nor a packet of felt-tip pens...

MJ: I think the Victorian lard sculpting tool has more to offer than the five pound note.

Sx

French Fancy said...

Just wanted to say I was only teasing with my comments about Wales on my blog - I've amended them now cos I wouldn't want to upset any of its people. I've had quite a few lovely hols in that part of the world.

x

Scarlet Blue said...

Ms Heart: Hello and Welcome!
Indeed, it is much wiser to hire a beach hut on the dorset coast.
And to stash all your savings under the mattress.

XL: It's a very urgent message isn't it? It's inferring that something terrible will happen to you if you take more than five pounds abroad... but they never really explain what the terrible thing is. I'm baffled.

Mr Whirly: This version of abroad looks like a typical Saturday night at Wiggleworth village hall.

Sx

Scarlet Blue said...

Mrs French: Please don't worry, Mrs French. If anyone needs a ticking off for teasing the Welsh, then it's me!
Sx

xl said...

I personally would like to see more salacious coverage of the Welsh!

Scarlet Blue said...

Mr XL: To be honest I'm kind of bored with this post as well... I'm too baffled by it to know what to write. Blimey, I've baffled myself.
Anyhow, shall we talk about Wales then? Welsh Victoriana could be a good starting point... I'm sure the Welsh knew what to do with their Victorian lard sculpting tools.
Sx

Dave said...

I personally would like to see less salacious coverage of the Welsh, and more of Scarlet's little behind.

Scarlet Blue said...

Dave: And why not? For my next post I WILL reveal my little behind.
Sx

Dave said...

Illustrated, I trust?

aka k said...

NOW your talking!! :)

Scarlet Blue said...

Dave: Are you suggesting that I have my posterior tattooed?? I think that's a little beyond the call of duty.
Sx
I think I ought to log off now, I'm going a bit doo-lally.

Scarlet Blue said...

Mr Aka: I'd better give it a good buffing then...
Crikey, the things I do for this blog...
Sx

mago said...

I'm unfamiliar with the concept of lard sculpting, and why would a Victorian tool be different f.e. from an Edwardian tool? I mean basically them tools are all the same. And what is the poor man supposed to do with his four pounds in Paris? And why would he travel to Paris 1940? Meet my granddad? Its all confusing.

Lulu LaBonne said...

Please lend me your lard sculpting tool Scarls - looking forward to the illustrated behind too.
xx

xl said...

Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch = "Miss Scarlet's tattooed little behind"

nick said...

Why the warning? It seems the value of the pound was plummeting at the time and the government was desperate to stop sterling flooding out of the country. I think.

BEAST said...

That man has obviously been for a night out at Cafe C. Personally I would like to see you set about the Welsh with the lard sculpting tool , but I suppose we had better let Miss MJ finish first , there is nothing worse than a half finished renovation!

Eryl Shields said...

You could get some of those Chanel stick on tattoos, less painful and once the photo shoot is over you can peel (or is it wash?) them off. By the sound of things plenty of people here will pop over to help you apply them, X

mago said...

It could also be painted on with henna ...

Dave said...

Can I do the photo shoot?

kyknoord said...

So basically all you were allowed to take out was the GDP of Zimbabwe?

Pat said...

In my heyday when I had to make frequent trips to France we were only allowed to take £50 a year out of the country. I tried to comply but had to get my sister to send money from the USA to my hotel in Paris so I actually didn't take more than £50 out of the country.
That was Harold Wilson.

savannah said...

talk about inflation! if you take more than 10,000USD out of the country, you must report it to the government! i always wondered who the hell carried that kind of money around. xoxoxox

MJ said...

I shall release my grip on the lard sculpting tool, only to clobber Beast about the head with it.

eroswings said...

Er...is that £5 adjusted for inflation? I mean, can I buy anything with £5 these days? Other than prophylactics and candy bars of course. I'm not sure if that's enough to pay for a fare to the airport. Will I have to hitchhike the rest of the way? I'm sure I can find some nice people to willing to give a stranded traveler a ride.

Macy said...

Would it be wrong to slip a ten shilling note into his pocket? Just as he's leaving? To see what the voices in his head do then?

Scarlet Blue said...

Mr Mags: This might help to clear some of the confusion, Mr Mags.
I still need to research the British economy during the 1940's to answer further queries.
Will be back in a bit... maybe...
Sx

Roland D. Yeomans said...

I'm still laughing from aka k's comment about a "little behind" and "lard sculpting" tool. You have a truly enjoyable blog. I'm glad I found it. Roland

Scarlet Blue said...

Lulu: I have posted....

Mr XL: I don't think I could fit all that on my bum!

Nick: This sounds like it could be true.. I will have to look it all up as soon as I've finished taking pictures of my little behind...

Mr Beastie: Ah! So this gent has escaped from Cafe C! Everything - and I mean everything is beginning to make sense.

Eryl: They are a little bit keen aren't they? They should be careful what they wish for!

Mr Mags: I could even paint on a pair of jeans?!

Dave: *Exasperated sigh*

Mr Kinky: Indeed!
Thank you, Mr Kinky, for your pertinent and relevant comment.

Pat: I will have to look all of this up. I really didn't know anything about it. They were very strict about it.

Savvy: I'm sort of getting my head round it now.
I don't think I've ever seen £10,000 in cash...?

MJ: I think we should sculpt him a lardy merkin. That should keep him happy for half an hour.

Mr Swings: A fiver would get you five things in the pound store.... so not a lot then.

Macy: I think his head would combust thinking about all the food and champagne he could consume with the extra money.

Roland: Hello and Welcome!!
Erm... this is usually an extremely serious blog, where I write about important issues of the day... it's all gone a little awry on this post I'm afraid.

Sx

Mitzi said...

A neighbour of mine makes lard cakes for birds, can you believe that? Baking for Birds