Thursday, 15 July 2010

The New Post

I have been very impressed by Lulu and Eryl's maps, so I thought I'd scribble a map of this post. As you can tell I am not very good at map reading and I often get lost.



Mr Mags wanted a pic of my boobs, so I have drawn him an enhanced representation - I hope this will suffice.

I had some disturbing news yesterday when I discovered that my writing style was the same as James Joyce... and... er... Dave. Click HERE if you want to know who you write like - it's great fun.

SERIOUS BIT: MJ's and Leni's comments are still vanishing, it's been over a month now and the blogger team aren't exactly falling over themselves to resolve the problem. I really think Blogger should employ more people to look after us all... anyhow, Mr Swings is organising another assault on the Blogger Help Forum to get them to speed up a bit. Please visit Mr Swings if you're in the mood for a bundle.

I can't be bothered with the armpit advert at the moment - something about women feeling really horny after they've shaved their armpits. I am dubious about this.

63 comments:

xl said...

Oh, what a wonderful page from Miss Scarlet's Notebook!

Is the "Arrgh" for shaved pits?

nick said...

Oh, those are only drawings of the chest area in question, I suspect a tad of artistic licence. I mean, I could draw myself with equally large ones but who would believe me?

I also checked my writing style and discovered I wrote like David Foster Wallace. Who? How come we write the same but he's famous and I'm not?

Scarlet Blue said...

Mr XL: The "arrgh" is for writing like Dave... but to be honest he's probably more bovvered by this than me.

Nick: My drawings look suspiciously genuine though, don't they???
Who is David Foster Wallace? I don't think he's that famous, Nick.

Sx

Lulu LaBonne said...

I adore looking at other people's notes/maps etc thank you for this and for showing us that you actually look quite a lot like Betty Boop.

Tits about Google and the comments though.

I don't feel sexy after shaving - just cold.
xxx

Lulu LaBonne said...

Oh and I don't need to be told that my writing is like that backward child in class 6b

Chairman Bill said...

I think there are only 2 answers - James Joyce and Wallace from Wallace & Grommit. Got both on two attempts.

63mago said...

It says I would write like "Dan Brown". Who IS Dan Brown? The brother of Joe Black?
And yes, it's time that google says something about the missing comments.

Princess said...

Great Notes Scarlet,
And I too aparently write like DFW just my luck another famous dead guy. So does that mean that Nick and i are like Twins??

EmmaK said...

Thanks for the writing test. Alas it was a bit of a downer. I got David Foster Wallace - no idea who he is but when I wikipedia'd him found he'd topped himself. Maybe I'm him reincarnated without the facial hair?

kyknoord said...

I thought "Aargh" was your signature.
It turns out I write like Dan Brown. Kill me now.

nick said...

Judging by DFW's Wikipedia entry, he's not super-famous, but pretty well-known. His novel Infinite Jest got on to a 100 Greatest Novels List. Other famous authors like Zadie Smith had a high opinion of him. He comes up so often in this test I suspect a hidden Wallace promotion exercise.

xl said...

Out of curiosity, I submitted a sample text written by Hunter S. Thompson. Result: Stephen King!!!!

Happy Frog and I said...

Thank you so much for the link. Apparently my writing style resembles Ernest Hemingway. I don't think so, otherwise I'd be a published author not someone who is chained to an office desk! Fascinating if somewhat odd!

Your map looked a lot like one I'd drawn out yesterday when thinking about blog posts I could create, but without the boobs!

The Unbearable Banishment said...

I don't take those stoopid intranets tests. The last one I took was to ascertain which superhero I was. It turns out I'm ROBIN! A friggin' sidekick! I don't want to find out that my writing has the literary merit of a Dr. Seuss book.

Dave said...

I would just like to clarify that I have never written about Scarlet's, erm, lady-parts, nor have I ever (well, not yet) published any of my photos of them, so our writing styles clearly aren't identical.

Geoff said...

I was David Foster Wallace first time then Stephen King second. Oh, the horror,

Tim said...

I write like Ursula K Le Guin. Strewth! I hadn't realised my little paragraph about my childhood was actually about dragonlords surfing a drowned world full of labyrinths of darkness and high priestesses ... Must reread (me, not Ursula).
Great fun indeed, might get addicted.

Heff said...

NICE KNOCKERS !

Joanna Cake said...

You make notes before you blog? I just bash my keyboard until it looks vaguely right :)

Kevin Musgrove said...

Dan Brown.


Hmpf.


Shall have to cheer myself up by having another look at the drawing of lady's parts. We never had maps like that when I did that cartography course.

moreidlethoughts said...

My cats write like Chuck Palahniuk.

There are several things that make me horny. Shaving is not one.

Mitzi said...

I write like James Joyce. I was hoping for Vita Sackville West, but there you go.

I keep notes too, if something tickles my fancy I write it down. Sadly, I haven't been blessed with neat hand writing, I'm still trying to decipher a piece I wrote about a dream I had of Susan Boyle and Greyfriar's Bobby.

eroswings said...

Does the map come in braille? It looks like a treasure map!

Scarlet Blue said...

Lulu: x2 I just feel relieved after I've shaved my pits...
Who the hell did you get when you analysed your writing?!

Mr Chairman: No, there are more than two answers... though most of us seem to be influenced by James Joyce as he liked puns.

Mr Mags: You don't want to know who Dan Brown is. You are forgiven because you are Franconian.

Missy Princess: Are you and Nick twins? Goodness! This gadget could start all sorts of blogging conspiracies...

Emmak: On the upside being like Wallace means that you're good at irony!

Mr Kinky: Yes, AAAARRRGGGHHH!! is my signature. It will also be the name of my new perfume that I hope to launch in time for Christmas. 'Oh Blimey!' will be next year's summer sensation. You read it here first.

Nick: Wallace likes a bit of irony - I had to look him up too. I thought I was going to be Pam Ayres... but apparently she writes like James Joyce as well... so I'm not disappointed.

Mr XL: Does Stephen King write like Pam Ayres? I will have to investigate.

Happy Froggy: I think you are our first Hemingway!
I have to make notes otherwise I forget everything.

Mr Banish: Hang on. I'm going to have a fag and then I'm going to sort you and Lulu out.

Sx

Dave said...

By the way, as one famous writer to another, 'there' in your final paragraph should be 'their'.

Scarlet Blue said...

Mr Banish and Lulu: Lulu writes like James Joyce and Kurt Vonnegut and Mr Banish - you write like David Foster Wallace!!

Dave: Oh come on - we both write like Pam Ayres. We should be proud.

Geoff: There are quite a few Wallace wannabes round here...

Tim: Hello and Welcome!! Weird... I'd have sworn that you write like Arthur C Clarke....?

Mr Heff: A girl can dream...

Ms Cake: I had to make notes for this post so that I could take the pic... I didn't photographed the notes that told me to write notes for the blog and take a photograph. Cunning eh?

Kev: I don't believe you!!!! Tut. You write like Raymond Chandler... No! I didn't use your Raymond Chandler post!

Dinah: Actually, shaving my legs can make me a little frisky... but not my armpits...

Mitzi: Was Greyfriar's Bobby howling everytime he heard a Susan Boyle CD?

Mr Swings: Tut, tut, Mr Swings... feel your way to the chest...

Sx

Scarlet Blue said...

Dave: Thank you! I'm sure Pam Ayres would never make a mistake like that.
Sx

Eryl Shields said...

Good lord, I became temporarily addicted! I can now tell you that I write like: David Foster Wallace, Conan Doyle, Mario Puzo and Dan Brown.

As for armpits, or oxters as they call them in these parts, aaarrrggghhhhhh...

Scarlet Blue said...

Eryl: At least you are versatile! I am always James Joyce.
Sx
It is addictive though!

Clyde said...

Oh, do people think about their posts and plan them ?
Horny, shaving, armpits---well there's enough for another post---
Oh, nice depiction of the chest area----such a well rounded lady

BEAST said...

Put your devils dumplings away before you have someones eye out . I write like arthur C Clarke.....I dont know wether thats good or bad

63mago said...

I read the wikipedia article about Mr. Brown. I remember that there was some media buzz last year (?) about a film and that he appeared on television (?). I have not read his texts and are no fan of "medieval symbolism" - it seems to be a bit like Eco just without the fun, Indiana Jones does history, seemingly without any trace of self-irony, but I may be wrong.

Kevin Musgrove said...

Which post did you use to get Chandler as the answer? (I'm being needy)

AAAAAARRRGHHH!!! is a good name for an aftershave.

Tim said...

I submitted a facetious Shakespeare parody I'd posted the other day after a visit to the Globe, and it came up as, guess who, DAVID FOSTER WALLACE. Didn't know he did iambic pentameters ... I suspect he's some kind of default, like Spartacus: 'I'M DFW, I'M DFW etc.'
Gawd, what a timewaster! Didn't even have time to shave the garden's oxters.

LL Cool Joe said...

Me thinks it's fixed as I got, yes wait for it, DAVID FOSTER WALLACE too.

nick said...

I'm waiting for the news that sales of DFW titles have rocketed by 3000%.

About the same percentage Scarlet's visitors increased after posting of certain anatomical drawings....

Scarlet Blue said...

Mr Clyde: Sometimes I write some notes for a post, I then log on and type something completely different!

Mr Beastie: Arthur C Clarke is a good thing... I think...
*Goes back to drawing Devil's Dumplings*

Kev: Oh blimey... it was an older post... I went for something with a bit of body. I will investigate and see if I can find it.

Tim: Sorry...!!

Mr Joe: I wonder what would happen if I copied and pasted this comments box?

Nick: I wonder what will happen when I post the tasteful photographs....?!

Sx

I am feeling a little under the weather. I have a headache and summer snivvels, so please excuse me whilst I go for a bit of a lay down.

Scarlet Blue said...

Interesting... this whole comments box is in the style of Arthur C Clarke, despite all the DFW's!!
Sx

Inexplicable DeVice said...

Ooh, I like the blog post map thingy. I might have to give it a go soon.
I'm going to have a go on that writing style doodad, too. You really are a wealth of ideas, Scarlet!

Kerrie said...

David Foster Wallace, apparently.. I am not alone.
I don't feel sexy after shaving my armpits but after I shave a good knot out from Cosmic kitty on the other hand...

Madame DeFarge said...

You write a plan for your posts? Blimey, how organised are you. I'm so impressed. I just bash it out to a strict regime of beginning, middle and end.

dangerouswriter said...

WOW! Joyce-like style! That's wonderful, Scarlet!

I like your map, especially the illustration of the cute nekkid lady -haven't checked her armpits, but I never heard about women feeling really horny after shaving them -I have heard about women feeling really horny after shaving another part of their anatomy, but perhaps that's beside the point today... we were talking about armpits, right? LOL-.

I have a notebook that I always carry in my bag, just in case some idea would come up -they come up anytime!-, but it doesn't have nice illustrations as yours, or Lulu's or Eryl's. Maybe I should try a nekkid drawing and practice.

((Thank you VERY for your comment in the Blogger thread! I really appreciate your support and collaboration since the blog removal nightmare began.

Now ALL the comments in MJ's and my blog are back and we can comment with our Blogger username without being eaten by the Googlebot. Hooray!))

Leni

Pat said...

I once did a post like a Molly Bloom stream of consciousness and people just thought I'd gone barmy.

Scarlet Blue said...

Mr Device: I reckon you will be joining the James Joyce club some time very soon.

Kerrie: Fiddling with your pussy probably does have more of an effect...

Madame D: I am not as swift or nimble brained as you, I'm afraid. Sometimes all I have is a last sentence and a few random commas to play with. Takes me a while to comprehend what I'm actually thinking - not straight forward at all!

Leni: I love notebooks! I have to place them strategically around the house. Alas, my best ideas come to me when I'm showering, ironing or outside having a cigarette... or whenever it's difficult to write something down - typical!!
Great news about the comments, I'm very relieved that this has finally been resolved.

Pat: I plan my posts and people still think I've gone barmy!!

Sx

I'm still feeling rather fragile so I will be taking this week off from industrial blogging - I may give all your blogs a light dusting though...

MJ said...

My comments are back, Miss Scarlet!

Fragrant Liar said...

What? There's a way to feel horny after you shave your armpits? Then I'm not going to waste time shaving my crotch anymore. Unless you're lying to me.

Scarlet Blue said...

MJ: I know!!! Good innit?!!
Bloody relieved.

Ms Fragrant: I like you. When I squint my eyes at your avatar you look like a young Helen Lederer - who I always thought was a great character actress. But you always turn up here when I'm just about to have a break... so we never establish a proper rapport. It's most annoying....

Sx

Dave said...

See you later...

63mago said...

Did I miss something? Are you on vacation?

Inexplicable DeVice said...

I've just taken the 'I Write Like' test. Apparently, my 'Bad weather' post is written like Stephen King (pah!) and my 'Dungeons and Drag Queens' post is written like H G Wells (that's better). I'm going to give it another go with something more lecherous...

mapstew said...

I must do some Mr. Maps maps! (Perhaps.) :¬)

xxx

Roses said...

Shhh...I'm not here. I am a figment of your imagination. If my nephew or SIL find out...I'm deadmeat. Especially since you put your boobs for all to see.

I'm glad it's not just me that questioned that Dove ad (was it Dove, can't quite remember).

I did have an ex once say to me that armpits are an erogenous zone. I dumped him before he could demonstrate and I haven't been tempted to experiment since (and that was 14 years ago).

Scarlet Blue said...

Hello!

No worries; I am having a blogging break, as I do every 3 weeks. There is a full moon which means I have turned into an irksome cow. I should be completely recovered by next Monday, but at the moment I am a little more than moody and think it wisest that I keep my fingers away from the keyboard.
:o)
Sxxxx

xl said...

Oh Hai Miss Scarlet!

Rog said...

I thought it was a "Dave" ad.

Wot about the blag meat?

The Birdwatcher said...

Apparently I write like Vladimir Nabokov. Um

63mago said...

... trallala ...

Dave said...

Yes, what about the blog meet.?

Scarlet Blue said...

...I am still recovering from the blog meet... I am still in a state of shock as to how charming, attractive, debonair and damn right handsome Dave really is... I have been walking into door frames ever since...
I am a little bit poorly at the minute, so you will have to wait for my in depth report.

Sxxx

Scarlet Blue said...

P.S Hello and Welcome to The Birdwatcher!! I am most impressed that you write like Vladimir Nabokov.
Sx

nick said...

I fed in a chunk of War and Peace. Apparently it was written by Enid Blyton.

Pat said...

Hey you! Get offa that Face Book!

Scarlet Blue said...

Nick: I always suspected as much

Pat: I know, but I feel really lazy. Facebook is so slutty compared to blogger... it's a bit like Pot Noodle.

Sx