Friday, 21 January 2011

For Fun and Entertainment Purposes Only

This is the second in a series of eagerly awaited and incredibly popular Tarot reading posts.

Legal Niceties:
Please remember that these readings are for fun and entertainment purposes only and should not be taken at all seriously because I am not psychic and cannot foresee the future. It is also worth noting that your home is at risk if you do not keep up repayments on a mortgage or other loan secured on it.

Firstly an update on my first eagerly awaited and incredibly popular Tarot reading post which featured Mr XL and ably demonstrates my startling abilities.
Incredibly I accurately ascertained that Mr XL is a frustrated restless redhead.
I then predicted that he would soon visit Australia. And He did!!!
Finally I predicted that he would throw caution to the wind and do something daring. He did!!!
Read this!!!
Anyhow, I think it is now time to update Mr XL’s future and discover what 2011 has in store...
Now Keep still Mr XL whilst I stroke your avatar, gently press my nose against it and give it a good nuzzle....


Apologies for the slight tingle...
Mr XL, the Tarot is telling me that you must ignore mischievous fortune cookies, as they speak nonsense... you must stick to well dunked gingernuts in future as they are kinder to your teeth.... and be careful with your teeth this year, as there could be some danger in the form of a heavily seeded bap or a crusty topped bloomer.
The Tarot is also telling me that you are feeling vulnerable and that you are having a bit of an identity crisis. You are smarting and dwelling on previous hurts. But do not worry, very soon everything will become clear as you are about to venture on a voyage of self discovery and you will again learn to value yourself. I also spy the birth of a new relationship... or a renewal of faith... there are definitely gentle stirrings of new beginnings... you are advised to take things slowly and to feed yourself with pleasure [good heavens!] and you must nurture yourself [the well dunked gingernuts will help you to do this], and treat yourself kindly. This self indulgence... although it may feel selfish... will lead you to the place you need to be. I hope this helps.

If there is anyone else who would like an insightful reading then please make a request in the comment box below.
Thank you... I am now psychically exhausted and need to rest....

42 comments:

Chairman Bill said...

Oooh, please!

I'm aware that the sign of the Tongs is about to enter the 4th quadrant, and I haven't anything to wear.

Scarlet Blue said...

Mr Chairman: The cards are suggesting blue floral, a trilby and an elegant swagger.
Sx

xl said...

I continue to be shocked and awed by Miss Scarlet's amazing Tarot skills!

Both RJ and I have dental appointments next week! Different dentists, which to me, makes Miss Scarlet's revelation doubly insightful!

I look forward to the adventure ahead!

Also, any lotto predictions would be appreciated.

Scarlet Blue said...

Mr XL: I had a strong sense of enamel... and a flossy feeling... I could feel it in my gums...
How many numbers do you have in your lotto?
SX

Whirlochre said...

The moment I chanced on your blog many years ago I knew — here's a girl capable of opening up a portal to another world.

Eryl said...

Crusty topped bloomers can be such a problem.

I would ask for your services myself, but I fear what they will reveal.

xl said...

Six numbers, 1 to 54. A machine spits them out on ping pong balls.

50/50 split on the winnings, Miss Scarlet?

Scarlet Blue said...

Mr Whirly: You are always welcome to look apon my portals.

Eryl: Oh go on, you know you want to...

Mr XL: Okay... the numbers... oh my lord... there are nine significant number and could apply to Lotto anywhere in the world.... but they are... let me wipe the steam from my window.... they are...
9, 43, 8, 23, 17, 1, 40, 41, 36

Cross fingers!
Sx

xl said...

Gaaah! I can only play six of them, Miss Scarlet! Help!

Scarlet Blue said...

Mr XL: You have to choose... the cards have led you as far as they can... Have faith, Mr XL.
Sx

Dave said...

I seem to remember I bought a Lotto ticket last year on the strength of your advice. You still haven't refunded my £1.

I'm not sure I ought to allow you to dip your psychic nose anywhere near what is in front of me.

MJ said...

You once predicted that XL would continue to fluff my pillows but that he would insist on doing it nekkid.

You were right!

You have a gift, Miss Scarlet.

Use it wisely.

I would like a reading, by the way.

And I would like to know what you foresee for The Freakin' Green Elf Shorts.

Scarlet Blue said...

Dave: Er... well give it another shot... maybe the previous numbers I predicted will come up... you just never know...

MJ: And Mr XL will continue to be a nekkid pillow fluffer...
I will get on to your reading straight away... something about a struggle... having to tackle a pair of tropical delights... and a funhouse mirror features... a UFO with golden sconces and climax of snappy elastic... and then you are to be reunited with a piece of clothing that brings you happy memories... I see the colour green... what could it all mean?
Sx

Homo Escapeons said...

Speaking of decent gingernutting, the Freakin Green Elf Shorts are being packaged in betwixt an assortment of local oddities and will soon be airborne above the Pond.

I'd ask you for a firm reading but alas I am far too afeared of the future and do not wish to know the exact hour of my demise, destruction or death. Of course you could always promise me something that was insanely positive and promising. That would be terrific.

Zig said...

nooooo no peeping, the here and now is more than anough to cope with!

Do you have to wear one of those silky scarfs with the little coins stitched to the edge when you're soothsaying? I can imagine they would suit you :)

Pat said...

Dunkin' ginger nuts? Isn't then a little close to home?

kyknoord said...

Dunked ginger nuts? Is the Tarot predicting some kind of auto-teabagging incident?

MJ said...

I’m giddy with excitement at the promise of a reading.

Now if only I could get XL to keep his pants on.

Do you forsee a reunion between Donn and Monica Bellucci?

nick said...

Goodness, what a talent you have! I remember when you did my tarot reading and predicted I would get older, trim my fingernails regularly and spend a lot of time waiting for buses. Astonishingly, it all came true!

Inexplicable DeVice said...

I never got the hang of Tarot and gave up entirely when something of swords gave me a horrendous papercut.
I'm glad that you have so much success and can't wait to see if Mr xl's reading comes true.

Which I'm sure it will.

Princess said...

I see you being overrun with requests for readings from oodles of angst ridden souls... seeking guidance and direction in their desparately meaningless lives...

Er... When can you do a reading for me Miss Scarlet?

Travis Erwin said...

Not me. I is skeered.

Pat said...

I've been dared by Shane to stand on one leg, on the new chair, on the kitchen table. Can you forsee the outcome before I commit myself please?

Scarlet Blue said...

Mr Coppens: I can feel the shorts winging their way.... TO ME!!!!
I'm going to do you a reading anyway, so there!!!

Zig: I am in my usual attire when I do my readings i.e. my baby pink gossamer negligee and sparkly pink extra fluffy mules. But a few coins passed across my palm would probably be helpful.

Pat: Indeed... I forgot to mention that Mr XL will have extra luck if he puts some fat balls out for the birds.

Mr Kinky: We live in hope... well I do.

MJ: I will keep a whole day free for your reading; it is likely that I will have to sift through many interesting images before I reach an indepth meaning.
As for Mr Coppens, he will only reunite with Monica if he abandons Facebook and returns to blogging - this is exactly what the cards say, word for word.

Nick: Obviously I will have to re-do your reading as I do not get the bus vibe from you! Are you sure it wasn't an imposter who gave you that original reading??

Mr Devine: *sharp intake of breath* We do not mention swords in this comment box.
Mr XL got the Page of Cups... I suppose I should have mention that in the post....

Princess: Soon Princess! At the moment I feel you have a strong connection with water... am I close?

Mr Travis: Hello and Welcome!!! Don't be 'skeered' or even scared.... only nice things happen in my readings.

Sx

Scarlet Blue said...

Pat: The cards advise not to!!! Otherwise there will be a mishaps with a jar of marmalade on Wednesday.
Sx

Kevin Musgrove said...

Please, Scarly: what do the cards say about the state of my drains?

Scarlet Blue said...

Kev: They say that you should put your fat balls out for the birds and not plunge them down the sink.
Sx

P.S Please blame Pat for this comment as she is the one who first posted about fat balls... and I've rather taken a shine to them.

fairyhedgehog said...

Scarlet, you're a wonder! Such full and accurate predictions leave me speechless!

Scarlet Blue said...

Fairyhedgehog: I shall add you to my list then...
Sx

TechnoBabe said...

Oh my, Scarlet, I am in awe of your many talents. Tarot reading indeed. Please don't get your feelings hurt if I decline your free services though. At my age I wouldn't want a big shock to put me over the edge. I enjoy standing just on the outside reading your blog.

nursemyra said...

I'd like to join in the general clamour for a reading.....

Macy said...

Oh am I too late for a Tarot reading??? Have the cards been put away for the night? Would another wee glass of sherry put you back in the mood???

63mago said...

You do extispicies too?

xl said...

I took the "Which Tarot Card Are You?" test and it says "The Star." Did I do something wrong?

PS: Thanks for the tip about the fat balls.

PPS: Page Of Cups?

Mitzi said...

Gypsy Rose Scarlet you're just like Joey the budgie with your amazing predictions.

BEAST said...

I always get a cold chill when the veil lifts and Miss Scarlets seeded baps emerge from accros the void.

Scarlet Blue said...

I'm trying to figure out if that's a good or bad thing, Mr Beastie?
You have to remember that I'm not very bright.
Sx

Scarlet Blue said...

Techybabes: I forsee only good things for you... you are going to have a fine time next week with a balackberry and apple strudel ring.

Miss Nurse: I shall add you to the list.

Macy: You are now on the list as well!!

Mr Mags: Apologies, I do not!!! Far too messy... but I do apple skin readings if you're interested.

Mr XL: Are you Pandora?
Faith in the midst of difficulties, Mr XL... but I warn you against blind hope.
Yes, I pulled out the Page of Cups for you.
Two good cards really.

Mitzi: Tish, I can't get the link to work... I will have to psychically connect...

Mr Beastie: Floury, buttered baps all on display on a well upholstered rack.

Sx

Nikos said...

Do you do dreams too?

I dreamt that my bed collapsed and I was in it with my ex-wife.

N

Scarlet Blue said...

Nikos: I think this dream is self analysing!!

Sx

I am now in the mood for a major sulk. And I have a headache - all this avatar nuzzling takes it's toll on a girl.

wendy house said...

Ms S, please read my cards, I want to know if I'm stalking anyone, whether I'm really a girl, when my hair will finally decide to get curly, if Reading town really is as nice as I think it is - or better, and any other gems your talent can sniff out
w xxxx

Scarlet Blue said...

Wendy: I shall add you to the list... these issues need to be addressed, and swiftly.
Sx