Wednesday, 23 February 2011

Apologies

Earlier today I wrote the following comment: "Please can you make it wear big pants. And a knitting pattern would be nice."

This comment did not end up in the place where I intended it to be. If you see this comment, don't be alarmed, it is not dangerous, but I would be grateful if you could refer me to its location. Thank you.

Meanwhile, I am postless and stressed about World events. When I watch the news I feel like the World is disintegrating around me. Things don't seem to tie up at the moment. One minute I am being shown images of people being shot at because they are trying to overthrow a dictatorship government, and the next minute a voice over is trying to encourage me to put my feet up and buy a sofa from DFS. I am not comfortable with this.
I have had one experience of a bomb blast - London 1992 - I wasn't there when it went off - had I been sitting in my office then I would have been killed. I would be dead. An enormous shard of glass ended up embedded in my office swival chair; the clear message being that I shouldn't spend my life sitting on my arse.
Anyhow, apologies for any wayward comments that you find in your comment box and apologies for this disjointed post. Here is a tune to distract you from current events.
Boo. Hiss. Sony won't let me embed. HERE is the tune. I have played it before, but it is nicely distracting. For US and Canada, try the Youtube that is embedded HERE. This might work?

71 comments:

MJ said...

Apparently they won't let that tune into Canada. What is it?

May I offer you a Werther's Original?

GYPSYWOMAN said...

dear ms scarlet blue - i've come across your words here through a mutual friend and could not help but comment on your own comment of the state of our world at this moment - incongruous as it is literally - you are not alone in this perception of reality - there are many of us who share your thoughts - of your own close-edged escape from demise, again i so relate as my daughter was in a similar situation on the day of 9/11 - in any event, may the remainder of your day be glorious!

xl said...

I have not seen your wayward comment. You can drop it off at my place if you like. I won't mind. Really.

The tune is also blocked in Texas. Is it naughty?

kyknoord said...

Is there a reward offered for its safe return?

Dave said...

Oddly, my popst today was headed 'knitting my own socks', but that wasn't the pleace where you left that comment.

Indeed, I wondered if someone had taken over your computer, as the comment you did leave was neither rude nor capable of misunderstanding. There was no hint of innuendo or double entendre.

'May you live in interesting times' is indeed a curse. I've visited Egypt, Tunisia and Jordan in the last few years, and having spoken to some locals, can see why they needed a revolution.

MJ said...

Shall I send over XL to fluff your pillows?

Jimmy said...

Relax, your comment has been located in the personal ads section of the Daily Mirror, under the heading 'Dirty Housewives'.

...apparently you've had 356 replies by the way.

Polka Dot Queen said...

A visit to the Polka Dot Room should calm you.

Scarlet Blue said...

MJ: I have tried to link to a version of the tune that I'm not allowed to watch any more. It seems logical to me that you still maybe able to?
here.
I will have a Werthers. I am exhausted.

Gypsywoman: Hello and Welcome! I believe we have met before and I remember you mentioning your daughter's lucky escape.
In my case, the upside was that my boss gave me his big squashy chair with armrests and everything... the downside was that he then expected me to work...

Mr XL: I'm sure I have plenty of wayward comments for you, Mr XL, such as: Mind the gap!!
I've put up a link for the US - it doesn't work in the UK, so I expect it works in the US.

Mr Kinky: Indeed there is a reward - with careful editing it might become the basis of a novel. I need it.

Dave: Apologies, I am not feeling frisky today. I am all slack elastic and nothing is making much sense.

MJ: Yes please! And please ask him to bring a display of his large candy.

Mr Jimmy: Good heavens! It was originally intended for the lifestyle section of the Telegraph... looks like I'm going to have some fun this evening after all.

Sx

EmmaK said...

I found your wayward comment and have wrestled it to the ground. I put a gag on it but it is still struggling. I might have to let this vicious beast go. Help it bit me!

Scarlet Blue said...

Miss Dotty: Are you the DFS voice over lady?
What kind of music do you play in the Polka dot room?
Sx

Scarlet Blue said...

Emmak: Keep it calm with a shot of whiskey... and don't look it in the eye... be especially careful with the ellipses... they are mysterious buggers and drip everywhere.
Sx

xl said...

Thanks, that link works.

The swinging stage spotlights and swinging burning car was frightening!

Scarlet Blue said...

Mr XL: Last time we watched it together we were all hypnotised by the giant balls. It's quite rousing.
Sx

xl said...

By coincidence, MJ's latest is on that very topic!

Scarlet Blue said...

Mr XL: I found myself in MJ's pants as I was scared of the Wenis Wednesday.
I am pleased to hear that you enjoyed the Welsh Rarebit!
Sx

mapstew said...

Fastway with their poodle perms! I would like to say I never had a poodle perm. I would LIKE to say that! :¬)

xxx

Scarlet Blue said...

Mr Maps: I am pleased to say that my poodle perm lasted a mere 24hrs. And then I was bald, but baldness was preferable.
Sx

MJ said...

Bugger. The new link is anti-Canadian too.

Can you hum a few bars?

MJ said...

I posted something new...a photo of Beast to make up for the previous scary wenis.

Scarlet Blue said...

MJ: It is Fastway with The World Waits For You. Sony are being proper mischief makers, aren't they?
Sx

Scarlet Blue said...

MJ: I will be over and then I will have to get tea ready... and watch the news.
Sx

MJ said...

I found the video but I must say it jangled my nerves.

I was just about to have a nice lie down but now I'm a bit on edge.

*pops a Werther's*

nick said...

What I always notice about the news is the way total disasters and trivial nonsense are seamlessly knitted together in the same neutral tones, as if every news item is much the same. Invariably a report on a lethal earthquake that killed hundreds is followed by a piece about a duck that held up traffic on the M1. Cue inane titters and rapid discarding of the earthquake.

Scarlet Blue said...

MJ: I think I like it for the swinging fiery balls.
I have been invited to the Polka Dot room, perhaps you would care to join me? Free smarties are on offer.

Sx

Teatime!!

Scarlet Blue said...

Nick: Exactly. It's not right. It helps to distort our perception of the World.
How should the news be presented so that it doesn't become part of our wallpaper?
Sx

The Unbearable Banishment said...

What a haunting near-death experience! I'm sure you look at life in a whole new bright light because of it. Recently, I saw a revival of an obscure Tennessee Williams play and was almost bored to death. Does that count?

Happy Frog and I said...

Oddly enough I appear to have lost a comment relating to red lace knickers on someone elses blog. Maybe your pants and my knickers have run off through blog land together!

Chairman Bill said...

I do believe your coment is sitting with HRH the Duchess of Cornwall.

Pearl said...

Have not seen your comment, but when I do, I'm going to buy it a drink.

As for the rest of your post, for a non-post, it's very well constructed. I agree with you re: what's on the TV. My take-away from it is that if we'd all just sit still, do as we're told, and rack up some debt, we'd all be better off. Sirens go off when I think this, and I am always surprised that others don't hear these sirens.

I know it's difficult, but I'm glad you hear the sirens, too.

Pearl

BEAST said...

But....but....I want to overthrow dictatorships and then buy a sofa , there are also some people I would like to shoot at. I am just at the cutting edge :-)

Roses said...

Personally, I think the World has gone mad. That's the only rational explanation for it.

I am hopeful though, that out of the madness, sanity will reign.

In the meantime, it's scary times.

Roses said...

PS. You didn't leave your big pants comment on my blogs either.

Sorry.

PPS. My wv: strook, Norfolk past tense of stroke.

63mago said...

Careful with them Werther's. Relax. Pop a Twix.

Ponita in Real Life said...

The world has gone to hell in a hand basket and the bottom is falling out. I've tried to ignore the various dictators with their regimes in death throws and all. I can only hope that my comfy sofa will remain in my house long enough for me to have a lie down, where I will soothe my soul with a Werther's and try to fathom what all the hullabaloo is about regarding that video. Can't seem to watch it and I don't really care. I only like stuffed trousers if the stuffing is the real thing and not some winter socks.

Leah said...

Me too, Scarlet, I'm scared of the mayhem and the crazyoppositeupsidedownworld too.

Scarlet Blue said...

Mr Banish: It was an odd day. During my lunch hour I crunched through the glass to Leadenhall Market and a fireman yelled at me to keep away, just before another pane of glass fell from a window behind me. And there was paper flying everywhere - financial files were never the same again. It's not something I will forget in a hurry.

Happyfroggy: I think our knickers clash!

Mr Chairman: You've changed your avatar - I will have a closer inspection later.
I hope Camilla passes the comment on to Kate Middleton, for whom it was originally intended.

Pearl: I hear sirens, bells, and elastic snapping... I just don't know what to do about it.

Mr Beastie: I suppose that after a hard day trying to overthrow a despot that even a revolutionary needs to sit down and have a cup of tea...?

Roses: X2 I'm waiting for the revolution to start here... or at least for Bremner, Bird and Fortune to return to C4.
It is all very scary, and I'm beginning to feel incredibly manipulated by our media.
I'd ask you to give that comment a dressing down if you see it, but that would leave it nekkid. And that wouldn't do.

Mr Mags: Pop a Twix? Pop a Penguin!

Ponita: I'm such an innocent! I didn't even consider that stuffed socks could be involved in the making of that vid!
*Hugs* to you.

Leah: Yes, I will put my hand up to being scared and extremely uneasy. Let's hope that this is the storm before the calm and not vice versa.

Sxx

Dave said...

Things are very quiet in Norfolk. I think the last revolution here was in 1381 (Wat Tyler, an East Anglian lad).

Come here and lay on my sofa. You'll be quite safe.

Scarlet Blue said...

Dave: Wat Tyler was from Maidstone!!
Is your sofa from DFS?
Sx

Princess said...

My Goodness Martin Short did have long hair and very tight pants...
the world is going crazy...
Might I suggest a nice cuppa... a bex powder and a good lie down...
Great granny swore by it until her liver packed it in... Who knew that aspirin coulds do that?

Scarlet Blue said...

Princess: Yes! Of course that's who he reminded me of - Martin Short!
*sharp intake of breath* I have to be careful with my liver - it's milk thistle all the way for me.
Sx

Happy Frog and I said...

You could have a point!

Kevin Musgrove said...

Lordy, I do wish that had been the most untoward comment I'd had all day! :-)

I've taken to reading Picture Post. It's about as much hard news as I can stand at the moment.

63mago said...

Fluck Sonny. I can't watch any video.

The cognition of the randomness, acciendtiality if this word exists, of all we call life, is bascĂ­caly harrowing.
We have to live with it. I think it is the only question.

gypsywoman said...

oh, dear, ms scarlet blue - apologies if i've been redundant! your memory serves you well! and i've had bosses like yours - that give you something all nice and squashy and then expect that you work for it! dare they dream! but i languish now in a world of my own making, having given up employment some time ago after having found my time much better spent doing things that please ME! ;)

fairyhedgehog said...

If I find your missing comment I'll send it back to you.

tony said...

Sofa So Good!

nick said...

Ah, I found your missing comment. It was sitting on the front step, looking very guilty and sorry for itself. I gave it a good telling-off, stuck it in a jiffy bag and sent it back to you. Pip pip!

TechnoBabe said...

So many things going on around the world and we are affected. There is no denying it, and it is disheartening. Extremely.

Mitzi said...

I gave up watching the news and reading the newspapers years ago with it’s usual conglomeration of war, violence, travel delays, weather disasters and murders, the most peaceful readings are the obituaries! No wonder people are all jittery with nerves.

I recently saw a picture in a magazine of Charles and Diana and I said to Carmen "Di's looking a bit ropey these days isn't she? She's really let herself go" Carmen sat me down and told me that Lady Diana, Queen of our hearts, died in a tragic car accident in Paris and the woman pictured with Charles is his second wife Camilla Parker Bowles!

Why can't windows be made from the same stuff as bus shelters and car windscreens, then in the event of a bomb going off or an earth quake the glass will then simply shatter into thousands of small square pieces. I had a similar experience, some silly bitch on the telly told us to rub scented oil on your light bulbs, when switched on the heat from the bulb will give your room a lovely aroma, I tried this and the bulb shattered, shards of glass everywhere. I could have wept.

nursemyra said...

what a lucky escape you had Miss Scarlet

Homo Escapeons said...

I for one am absolutely thrilled that you were 'oot & aboot' when that shard hit your chair.
Concerning the disintegration of all the puppet regimes that the West has embedded in order to secure Oil Rights, there is no need for alarm.

As soon as the dust settles, the Bankers will send money guns and lawyers to smoothe things over so that we don't experience any undue inconvenience at the gas pump.

Not to worry, now aboot this embedding business...

wendy house said...

Brilliant :-)
I'll look in my lost-sock warehouse to see if any comments have sneaked in. Thanks for the heads-up Ms. S

Madame DeFarge said...

I am somewhat glad that you were not there at that time. If only so that you could leave comments like that. A treat for us all.

Scarlet Blue said...

I have been away, but now I am back Slightly traumatised.

Quite frankly, I am not going to boycott American women. How silly. I am sending all such petitions to the deletion bin.

Sx

Scarlet Blue said...

Happyfroggy: Indeed. I have a fine pair of points. Thank you for pointing this out.

Kev: I have totally lost the thread of this comment box but I am always thrilled to see your knees here.

Mr Mags: And I am feeling especially harrowed this morning. Deep breaths and trying to keep the World at bay.

Gypsywoman: I am feeling mashed today, but I am also still pleased that I no longer have a squashy boss to make me feel any worse.
Work to live and not vice versa!

Fairyhedgehog: Be careful how you approach it as it has already bitten Emma.

Tony: Groan!! I'm about to take to my bathchair.

Nick: Oh lord! Did you warn the good people at the post office? I now envisage a national crisis as postmen start being taken out by my missing comment.

Techybabes: Let's just hope that this is all part of the big storm before the calm. I live in hope... and hopefully won't die in despair.

Sx

Scarlet Blue said...

Mitzi: I was never taken in by the aromatherapy lightbulb trick - I had visions of burning the house down with it... a few drops of essential oil in a bowl of hot water will suffice.
Anyhow... I saw a pic of Colonel Gadaffi in the paper and thought he was doing an impersonation of Micheal Jackson. How come nobody talks about Gadaffi's plastic surgery mishaps?

Miss Nurse: Indeed... but to be honest I wasn't often at my desk!

Mr Coppens: Good gracious, what are you wearing?!
Sodding bankers. I think I should have posted a different tune... on has just come to mind...

Wendy: You might be able to tempt it out with some twigglets?

Madame D: You are too kind! If you see the wayward comment you may be able to defeat it with a very fine pudding.

Sx

Scarlet Blue said...

Spelling, spelling, spelling... I am exhausted...

"Please can you make it wear big pants. And a knitting pattern would be nice."

AAAARRRRGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!
Sx

xl said...

I have also decided to not boycott American women!

63mago said...

I think colonel G. is stoned most of the time.

And its by the way a very good thing that you are here on this planet.

Have some Speed. (scroll down)

white rabbit said...

A wayward comment! How exciting! Years ago I once posted a private comment in a chatroom on public by mistake. It was about a very stupid person. So stupid in fact that she bought my utterly ridiculous 'explanation' hook line and sinker...

*evil cackle*

LL Cool Joe said...

I think DFS is trying to take over the world.

I'm glad the shaft of glass wasn't in your arse.

See I'm a poet.

wendy house said...

On the way to the warehouse I managed to hitch a lift from some fabulous american women who were feeling a bit persecuted - I helped them feel better with my twiglets. I ran out of twiglets before I reached the sock warehouse. Good night out though

Scarlet Blue said...

Mr XL: I am going to set up an American Women Appreciation Society.

Mr Mags: I had the speed yesterday.. and then forgot to reply. Duh.

White Rabbit: Well, there are so many white boxes to type in these days that one never really knows where the words are going to turn up.
Let's hope I don't start blogging my emails....

Mr Cool: I have always known that you are a poet.
Perhaps I should start a boycott DFS campaign?

Wendy: I'm baffled by the boycotting commenter - and too scared to click on his blog. Maybe he will stop this nonsense if we give him a bag of twigglets?

Sx

wendy house said...

Ms Scarlett - I managed to chase your comment out of the sock warehouse and it's settled temporarily in the past on some Decking in North Carolina. Probably protesting in favour of american women:

http://wendyhome.com/2005/05/16/anole-lizard/#comments

LL Cool Joe said...

Well can just wait for the delivery of my new sofa before you start the bad publicity campaign?

LL Cool Joe said...

Shit now I'm missing out words too, it's catching! :D

Scarlet Blue said...

WENDY: WENDY!!!!!! How did you do that???? NAUGHTY!!! But I am impressed. And slightly thrilled.

Mr Cool: I don't believe you!!! You are too cool for DFS!!!

Yes, missing out words is a blogger's virus.

SXXX

Scarlet Blue said...

This missing comment has been spotted HERE

Many thanks to Wendy for being vigilant.

SXXXXXX

wendy house said...

It's one of the perks of hosting your own website - you're nearer to being all powerful....mmwwwahahahaha

(I can remove it if you want)

Scarlet Blue said...

Don't remove it! It made me laugh!
Sx