Friday, 18 February 2011

Va Va Voom



Sigh. I still miss Nicole and Papa. Life was less complicated back then... so anyhow, where was I... Yes, Va Va Voom - Do you have it? Does it spill out of your cutlery drawers? Does it propel you through life like a force of nature? Is it pink? Is it turquoise? Do my wellies have it? Should I go back to writing poetry? Is Renault using sex to sell a heap of metal that is simply supposed to transport you from A to B? Does it work? Would you rather not think about these questions now and just look at the pretty pictures? Would Dave prefer to watch this version...



Is it lunchtime yet? Shall I have toast? Shall I shut up now?
 

57 comments:

MJ said...

Where can I order one of those padded gloryhole walls?

Scarlet Blue said...

MJ: If you buy a Renault Clio then you get a padded gloryhole for free.

Sx

Nota Bene said...

Sadly. Very sadly Dita could sell me anything. Even a Vauxhall.

Scarlet Blue said...

Nota Bene: How about a Lada?
Sx

Chairman Bill said...

Give me a JCB digger, any day.

Scarlet Blue said...

Mr Chairman: Oops, I replied to you and then I realised I'd put up a tasteless pic, so I deleted and now I'm in a right 'tis...
this should turn you on.
Sx

xl said...

Renault no longer sells their cars here, hence I am va-va-voom-less.

Pat said...

Have you noticed how shoulder length black hair is beginning to be the vogue? At its best in Russell whatsit's new bride. There are too many Russells, but I mean the one who was horrid to Manuel's grand-daughter.

Scarlet Blue said...

Mr XL: Yes, but your rather large candy has plenty of Va Va Voom.

Pat: Russell Brand! And Katy Perry.
Indeed, Russell Harty would never have behaved in such a distasteful manner.

Sx

Whirlochre said...

Just sat on mine by accident and nearly ruptured myself...

nick said...

Every time I get into my wee Renault Clio (yes I actually own one), I keep looking for the sexy blonde slipping off her underwear in the back seat. I can't understand why there's only a pile of old pizza cartons and a bottle of screenwash.

Ponita in Real Life said...

Sex will always sell something to somebody, but that doesn't do it for me. But then, I like men....

Katy Perry has gone a far turn from her gospel singing upbringing... all skimpy clothes, gyrating around on Sesame Street! Seems "sex sells" works well for her! ;-)

Dave said...

Thank you. You can take the black wig off now though. I prefer you as nature intended.

Note: I never mentioned the word ginger.

Lulu LaBonne said...

If MJ gets a padded glory hole will she throw another party ... and will you be in it with a bottle of whiskey giving aurora readings?

Scarlet Blue said...

Mr Whirly: Did you sit on the sock monkey again?

Nick: Yes, but you have Va Va Voom cos you drive around nekkid. I've seen you.

Ponita: I know. This ad just makes me want to go out and buy some rather nice underwear.

Dave: As nature intended? Are you asking me to remove my corsets?

Sx

Scarlet Blue said...

Lulu: This sounds like a rather good plan! MJ will have to give us all access to her padded gloryhole walls...
Hang on... let me think about this sentence... it's been a long day...
Sx

Happy Frog and I said...

Va Va Voom always makes me think of the fantastic film noir from 1955 called Kiss Me Deadly. One of the funnier characters said it. I wouldn't have bought a car from him to be fair though. Actually, I wouldn't have bought a sandwich from him.

Jimmy said...

Va Va Voom... surely the noise a dyson makes when it encounters a dirty floor?

..and you thought I had forgotten.

nick said...

I never drive naked. I always wear my driving goggles, my pink frock and my Ugg boots. Oh, and my drop earrings.

The Unbearable Banishment said...

I wonder how Audry Hepburn and Brando feel about selling cars? Oh. That's right. They're dead and can't be asked. I find that classless. Am I being to leftist again?

For the record I prefer version B. I had to watch it twice just to make sure.

Eternal Worrier said...

That 2nd advert is fantastic. For obvious reasons.

Dave said...

Yes please.

Eryl said...

She's quite something, that young woman. If I spend my savings on a Renault Clio will I wake up with buttocks like that, do you think?

63mago said...

I very much like to see Dita. But you'll never see me in something like a Renault Clio.

Princess said...

Footage of Mistress MJ relaxing on her chaise lounge! I'm impressed Scarlet... how ever do you do it?

Scarlet Blue said...

Happyfroggy: These ads remind me of lots of things i.e. to get dressed in the morning... but they don't really make me think about buying a car!

Mr Jimmy: Welcome back!!
I think there must be some cognitive behaviour going on because as soon as I saw you were back I cleaned my kitchen floor [not kidding]!!

Nick: I wear a large boiled wool hat. It is Royal blue with a knitted pink chrysanthemum attached to the brim. It keeps me out of trouble.

Mr Banish: Yes, I wonder what Audrey would have thought? I think she preferred mopeds.
It appears that the second Youtube has garnered the most votes; I wonder why?

Mr Eternal: Is it because Dita is not wearing a large boiled wool hat with a knitted pink chrysanthemum attached to the brim?

Dave: Only if it helps with your casually assembled erections.

Eryl: I think you have pin-pointed a gap in the market!! A car seat that makes your bum as firm as Dita's!

Mr Mags: According to Top Gear, the Renault Clio is quite a good car... but they may have been influenced by the second ad.

Miss Princess: I have a jolly good camera and I know where to point it.

Sx

K said...

I can't imagine anything with Va Va Voom happening in the back of a Renault clio, unless of course they have kidnapped Bowie and stuffed him in there.

Happy Frog and I said...

Oh, was I supposed to want to buy a car? Oops, no I did buy sun factor 50 though, does that count?

Inexplicable DeVice said...

Va VA VOOM is pink!

Which is why you'll never see any pink Renault Clios - they just don't have it any more.


Did you have toast?


WV is luarde, Is that Spanish for lard? Did WV hear you talking over at MJ's?

moreidlethoughts said...

If anything is spilling out of your drawers- they need new elastic!

normadesmond said...

renault. over here, they don't exist.
i recall one as a kid, a daphine ( i think).

it had no va, no voom, no nothin'.

Pearl said...

Hmm. So if I buy a Renault (and honestly, I don't think I've seen one YET in Minneapolis!) then there's a chance I will actually have purchased "va va voom"?

I like those odds...

Pearl

p.s. Have added you to my blogroll.

Scarlet Blue said...

Kerry: It looks like the type of car to be fitted with a baby seat... not a David Bowie.

Happyfroggy: ...and a pair of M&S knickers?

Mr Devine: I pushed the boat out and had a chicken sandwich - thank you for asking as nobody else seems to be interested in my dietary requirements.
Oh crikey, please do not encourage Word Verification Code - he is the bane of my life.

Dinah: Indeed! I keep my forks in a wicker picnic basket, held in place with knicker elastic. A stylish and colourful alternative to keeping my silver in a canteen.

Miss Norma: The Renault Daphne is very cute! I vote for a revival! I want one!

Pearl: Sadly, the Renault Clio is not available in the States... but then again I feel that you have enough Va Va Voom already!

Sx

Word Verification Code said...

VroooommVVa

Scarlet Blue said...

Mr Code: In your dreams.
Sx

MJ said...

I've just popped over to see if CyberPete has been here yet.

I was following a trail of Werther's Originals.

TechnoBabe said...

These are steamy commercials for a car. I wouldn't have known it was an ad for a car if you hadn't said so. I am still not so sure...

63mago said...

These small cars of the late 50s early sixties are really nice. I always wanted a Karmann Ghia.

Kevin Musgrove said...

These days I'm getting around in the passenger seat of a (proper) Mini Cooper. The only va va voom is the sound of my back going into spasm when I'm trying to lever myself back out onto the pavement.

Madame DeFarge said...

My va-va-voom has driven off to brighter horizons, unfettered by any sense of social responsibility.

wendy house said...

They have used the loft insulation grants innovateively

Scarlet Blue said...

Techybabes: I know, that's just how I felt when I first saw them... I wanted to throw caution to the wind and buy corsets.

Mr Mags: I wouldn't say no... but perhaps not in orange?

Kev: You are far too modest... I've heard that you go voom, voom, va.

Madame D: Who am I kidding, my va, va, voom went plop a couple of years ago...

Wendy:...no, I think they've made good use of some mattresses found in skips from Islington.

Sx

Scarlet Blue said...

Right, I am now away for some serious sulking. I've worked for it, I owe it to myself, I will enjoy it.... kind of, in a bitter teeth gnashing kind of way.

SXXXX

nursemyra said...

I could watch Dita all day long

Scarlet Blue said...

MJ: Apologies! I missed you there. There is some sticky stuff over my velvet curtains... but I'm not sure that Pete is responsible.

Miss Nurse: The Renault Clio ad is proving quite popular on C4, so I feel like I am!

Sxxxx

Apologies... I am now getting back to my industrial sulking... not that anybody noticed my hissy fit...
*knocks over bedside lamp in a fit of pique then puts it straight again as I can't abide untidiness*

Sx

63mago said...

Why sulk? Teeth gnashing power sulk? And where's MJ's comment?

kyknoord said...

You should definitely go for the toast.

Scarlet Blue said...

Mr Mags: I am the mistress of the power pout. It's my excuse for looking jowly.
I have forgotten why I am sulking now...

Mr Kinky: A toast of champagne!! Yes, I'll drink to that.

Sx

tony said...

I'm With Dave On This One...........[p.s. I used to have a Lada.]

xl said...

Speaking of toast, I was wondering if you might have a recipe for Welsh Rarebit?

Mitzi said...

I think some of the adverts are better than the programmes.

Oh how I've dreamt of driving through Paris in an open-top sports car with the warm wind in my hair, just like Lucy Jordan.

BEAST said...

Va Va Voom indeed , yet another ghastly french intrusion into our nice well mannered lives.
I dont know , the things these continentals get up to when one isnt looking

Scarlet Blue said...

Tony: I think Dave has company!
Sympathies about the Lada...

Mr XL: As you know I am the connoisseur of all things welsh, so I have found this link: Welsh rarebit.
But remember to always wear the special Welsh hat when you eat this or it won't taste right.


Mitzi: I might do Paris when I'm 77... but they are nutty drivers and it'll probably be more of a nightmare than a dream...

Mr Beastie: Are you trying to deny that you peeped through the gloryhole walls? Hmmm???

Sxx

nick said...

What I find hilarious about car adverts is the complete absence of traffic jams. The car hurtles effortlessly from A to B, never stationery on the M25 or stuck behind a line of parental kid-wagons. An unrecognisable parallel universe....

Kevin Musgrove said...

"Voom voom va?"

I'm told it's "ooh agh eek."

63mago said...

Isn't this what they do with Clios?

Scarlet Blue said...

Nick: And in this advert the car can be parked on its nose... which would be handy in real life.

Kev: Be grateful for any sound.. at least something is working.

Mr Mags: This is simply a clip of a millionaire throwing his toys out of his pram...

Sx