My Aunt has left all her passwords on her memory stick!!!! HA HA HA!!!! And I have changed them all so there's nothing she can do!!!! Everyone in the family thinks she is weird cos she makes weird stuff and makes handmade christmas cards that are rubbish. Even her secret files are rubbish and boring but I will load them anyway.

02/11/2006 THE HISTORY OF BOTTLING
Initially my experiments with bottling were explosive, shards of flying glass would become precariously lodged in the kitchen ceiling. The process was long, arduous & dangerous in the extreme. There were times when I would hold my head in my hands believing the project to be doomed to failure. Then one day: ‘Eureka!’, I discovered an ancient technique that made the process almost foolproof; I have only electrocuted myself three times since.
During this period I was supported by close friends & family who visited me more often than usual, they too were fascinated by the process of bottling. For example close friend Jules ably supplied me with an endless supply of empty bottles; her dedication & contribution to this project cannot be overemphasized, she is a legend in her own lifetime . . . albeit a tad incoherent . . . & wobbly on her pins . . .
Now that I was technically adept at bottling I could at last focus my energies on artistic creativity; I retreated to my purpose built garret at the bottom of the garden & awaited inspiration. Crawling through the back passage of my emotions I re-experienced hideous moments of my life that are probably best forgotten. It was a long painful journey, not without misgivings, but I was determined to suffer for my art, if I had to lie on a bed of nails & walk bare foot over burning coals, then so be it. Finally, when the sun was parallel to Pluto & Uranus was rising, my work was done.
Ten bottled feelings stood before me & I was a shadow of my former self . . . .

03/11/2006 HOW TO MAKE MONEY FROM ART
‘Viridian Venus’ is a small local gallery run by Moonchild Etherington -Smythe, who in her own words is a ‘Visionary Artist’, to quote further, her works are ‘a product of innate personal vision’. In Moonchild’s case, these visions manifest themselves as childlike impressions of angels. Appearing well-groomed at all times, she strikes the perfect balance between ethnic charm & middle England authority.
Moonchild was not overly keen on my bottles, she exclaimed that my soul was barren, that it was imperative that I release my bottled feelings immediately if I was to ever re-connect with my inner child. All I needed to do was sign up for one of her Visionary Workshops, it would only cost £150.00 & she would teach me to express the sound of a vacuum cleaner through the medium of paint.
I declined, I left her gallery leaving her to re-arrange her crystals; I was worried, confused, slightly disturbed whilst at the same time seriously impressed by her visionary commercial sense.