Friday, 24 August 2012

Thursday, 2 June 2011

Never Knowingly Undersold

Three years on and I am now officially closing the Scarlet Blue blog. This is my favourite in the series of Advert posts. I still ponder as to why grown women cry when viewing this advert.
Anyhow, God bless Scarlet-Blue and all who sailed with her!!!

There has been much controversy in the British press regarding the new John Lewis ad, which features actress/glamour model/author/Olympic gold medallist/circus performer/after dinner speaker/one time MP for Wigglesworth and Bendover, Fanny Mountjoy, who died earlier this year. Critics have accused John Lewis of focussing on the lesser aspects of Fanny’s endeavours and in the brief summation of her life they have failed to acknowledge Fanny’s greater achievements, specifically her much loved symphony in D minor, composed on the glockenspiel, entitled The Waitress.
Fanny’s family and friends have hit back arguing that this is how Fanny would like to have been remembered. For them Fanny will always be, first and foremost, a wife, mother, mistress and home-maker; as well as a sister; an aunt; a niece; a cousin; a god-daughter; a god-mother; a grandmother; and when occasion demanded, an uncle.
Critics have countered that John Lewis has undermined Fanny’s memory in the public psyche and have been grossly irresponsible to broadcast such a reduced and sentimental account of Fanny’s life.
Fanny’s family and friends have replied claiming that her family life was more significant than her groundbreaking thesis on high wire acrobatics and aerial fire eating, which led to her being nominated for a Nobel prize in chemistry.
Critics have gone on to suggest that family and friends wish to play down some of Fanny’s more dubious activities, such as the night she reportedly spent with naked activists in Cunliffe Square demonstrating over the demolition of Squirts ice cream parlour, an iconic building in Wigglesworth.
Family and friends [namely Claude Wood – third cousin, twice removed] have scoffed at this suggestion saying that her involvement was greatly overplayed and she was merely a bystander, albeit a naked bystander with an ice cream cone and a crumbly flake. Claude claims that it was a very warm evening.
Critics are now meeting to decide their next move whilst friends and family have adjourned to their comfortable living rooms to await further developments and to catch up with Britain’s Got Talent.
And so, dear reader [I’ve always wanted to write that – it makes me sound like I’m a proper blogger], have John Lewis knowingly undersold Fanny Mountjoy? I’ll leave it to you to decide.

Friday, 20 May 2011

Escape To The Country

Knotting-May-Back-Passage, to be found up-wind of Pratt's Bottom, is a tight knit prosperous community where the eccentricities of the rich and illustrious often go unreported to the wider world, or to the appropriate planning authorities. Indeed, this small rural hamlet has become something of a safe-haven for spendthrift entrepreneurs and reckless millionaires.
For example the activities of newcomer Richard Etherington-Wilson went largely unnoticed for such a length of time that he managed to block pave 17 acres of arable farmland before a concerned dog walker raised the alarm. Mr Etherington-Wilson, originally an Estate Agent/Mortgage Consultant/Property Developer/Pension Schemer/all-round banker had been drawn to the rural idyll after attaining a certificate of commendation in rustic handicrafts during a weekend workshop in Wales. Unfortunately, such was his enthusiasm for living the dream and dry stone walling, that before moving to Dumpling Dipsticks [a Gothic inspired neo-classical thatched Georgian villa] he failed to take his pathological fear of darkness into consideration. Mr Etherington-Wilson was arrested recently, but later baled, after he was found to be responsible for lighting up the skies with 3,000 energy saving light bulbs festooned across ancient woodland within his extensive gardens; his nocturnal illuminations had proved to be something of a hazard for pilots trying to land light aircraft at a nearby private airstrip.
Richard Etherington-Wilson was thought to have been in hiding since this latest incident, but speculation down at The Dog and Duck has been rife with the idea that the sat-nav system on his ride on mower malfunctioned; some local residents swear blind that they've seen him mowing his way through the Knotting-May butterfly sanctuary, some 5 miles in distance from his 25 acre landscaped gardens at Dumpling Dipsticks....



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