Sunday, 20 September 2009

Wonderful Life [Jukebox Monday]

I have been tagged by Mr Gyppo to write a list of once in a life time experiences that I wouldn't like to ever, ever experience ever again... ever. Sounds straightforward.

1) Being Dressed up as a kangaroo.
2) Slamming my thumb in a train door [an oddly queasy experience when you realise what is preventing you from taking your seat]
3) Falling into a ditch of stinging nettles.
4) Being stood on by a donkey.
5) The sinking feeling I felt when I realised that the very very important document that the whole office had been hunting high and low for, for at least two days, had been on my desk all along.
6) Being dressed up as Humpty Dumpty.
7) Falling off a wall whilst dressed up as Humpty Dumpty.
8) Being stopped by the police whilst dressed up.
9) Being packaged as a doll in an art exhibition and not being allowed to move... or laugh.
10) Using a home hair colouring kit which may have turned my hair ginger. I DID IT ONCE, GOD DAMNIT, I AM NOT GINGER NOW.

I would like to pass this tag onto: Kerrie; Savvy; Pat; Madame D; Mr XL; Mr Swings; Mr Mags; ZIggI and of course... Dave.

Sigh. Meanwhile, here is a tune.


jekandhyd said...

Bit worried about these confessions Scarlet:

a) Being dressed up as a kangaroo, b) Being dressed up as Humpty Dumpty.
c) Being packaged as a doll
d) Turning your hair ginger

You are obviously running from something, but your choice of disguise needs far more work if you are to successfully evade the police (and you mention you have had a run-in with them - I suspect more than one, eh?)

Scarlet, please email under a separate cover and we can discuss ways in which I can help you assume a believable new identity. I have several now (Dr J and Mr H being only two - although Twittering as BarakObama is a bit time consuming)

xl said...

Is missing #3 something like "Dressed as a bucket of oats," which led to #4?

Scarlet-Blue said...

Mr Jekand: You do realise that the Blogosphere is actually just made up of me and you, don't you?

Scarlet-Blue said...

Mr XL: I told you I was rubbish at maths! I am a twat.
Anyhow, I have now done no.3.

Kevin Musgrove said...

There is a disturbing amount of role-play in this list.

Anonymous said...

Number four ... well I'm not too familiar with these English expressions ...

xl said...

Ouch! for #3!

PS: I will attempt the list. Thank you Miss Scarlet for including me.

Eryl Shields said...

What were you dressed up as when you fell in the ditch of stinging nettles?

Scarlet-Blue said...

Kev: I know. And I like a good roll.. a good role, but oh no... I get to be a kangaroo or Humpty Dumpty.... when do I get to be the princess...? SOB...

Mr Mags: I fell over... and a donkey stood on me. I don't quite understand how it happened. But I had a very big bruise.

Mr XL: I look forward to your list.

Eryl: I'm just thankful I was dressed.


TechnoBabe said...

Interesting list. Was it difficult to come up with a list that could be put in a post online for everyone to see?? What happened in #8? Did they laugh? What color is your hair now?
I enjoyed the video, thanks for putting it on your site.

Anonymous said...

Oh dear ... what a brute!
I am thinking of a list.

Axe Victim said...

I was bitten by a donky once. Does that count?

MJ said...

Are you a professional mascot, Miss Scarlet?

M C Ward said...

Do people call you Duracell?


eroswings said...

I've had a good laugh reading this. Thank you Scarlet, you've made my week! Luv it! I'll start working on this.

4) Being stood on by a donkey.

Those filthy jackasses! On the plus side, at least it didn't crap on you.

I luv your festive spirit in dressing up. You really do live up to the roles you play. I hope you at least got a bathroom break during your time as a live exhibit in the museum.

Whirlochre said...

I, too, am entertained by the dressing up theme.

Are you one of these people that dresses up as several things at once?

So when the illusion is over, it's time to spring another one?

KAZ said...

I've got it - you work as a rep for a theatrical costumiers.
I just hope you don't smell of mothballs.

Dave said...

I shall think long and hard about this, so probably won't give you my list until next week.

Rog said...

If you were dressed as a baby kangaroo you could have joined the cast of "Friends"

Scarlet-Blue said...

Technobabe: It was a very difficult list to make. For example I had to leave out losing one of my favourite earrings at Victoria station and having to go out wearing unco-orndinated underwear.
The police were always picking on me and I am NOT GINGER now, I am subtley highlighted.

Mr Mags: Good luck with your list.

Mr Victim: Hello and Welcome! Did it nibble on your carrot?

MJ: I have bouts of enthusiasm where I'll just about volunteer for anything!

Mr Wardy: It has been a nickname, but it was nothing to do with being ginger!

Mr Swings: I think I like dressing up really!

Mr Whirly: One thing at a time! And not recently... and sadly, probably not this year.

Kaz: Blimey! I wish I got paid!

Dave: I shall look forward to it. Do you have blogging flu?

Rog: No it's no good, I am defeated by you comment and frenzied googling isn't getting me any closer to the answer.
Why, Rog, WHY?????


Anonymous said...

I think that we need photos. There must be photos for at least a few of these events. :-)

Roses said...

Pictures would be good.

Are you the one who the art students ask to help out on their installations? Or do all your friends just like dressing up?

Dave said...

Apology accepted. Put blow in post,

Dave said...

Don't know why that comment ended with a comma.

I am feeling v dizzy today (just given a few pints of blood away to the phlebotomist). Still I expect a blonde will know all about that.

Scarlet-Blue said...

Fammy: Some of these incidents are on DVD. Sigh.

Roses: I was an art student... and I indulged in my love of dressing up!

Dave: Don't worry about the comma... a comma is just an over excited full stop.


PI said...

# 5 brought back memories so I'll have a go as soon as...

Rog said...

Sorry about this!

white rabbit said...

Try being stood on by a squirrel. Smaller than a donkey and presumably more comfortable.

tony said...

I've done 2,3, & 5.'will 'pass' on the kangaroo !

savannah said...

y'all are quite the vixen, sugar! given my advanced age, it might take a few days to organize (remember) all the things i'd rather not do again! ;~D xoxox

Donn w/2 Ns said...

Oh how I wish that I had met you during your "dress-up" stage.

I always found that costumes were a great ice breaker and that a good disguise, along with copious amounts of alcohol, allows even the most timid of persons to "come out of their shell" and morph into a lusty, ribald, fetish-machine!

My guess is that you "chose" to wear costumes because you were either crippled by shyness and sobriety, or,
because of your "ginger-ish-ness",
You obviously had to wear these elaborate costumes for fear of coming into direct contact with sunlight.

xl said...

[off topic. just heard on radio]

A slug is sexually assaulted by a turtle.

Judge: What happened?

Slug: I don't know. It all happened so fast!

Donn w/2 Ns said...

Happened so fast HA!

I believe that the Chelonian in question would have prolly been a Tortoise, which are the land-dwelling members of the family of Testudinidae.

To have successfully violated a slug or shelless gastropod mollusc, I tend to favour my prime suspect being a Speckled Padloper (homopus signatus) which is, as you all well know, is the world’s smallest tortoise.

I hope this helps.

Liam said...

Hmmm i've never done any of those things.

Kerrie said...

Can you buy any of these costumes at Anne Summers? I am thinking sexy humpty meets kinky kanga.
Thank you for your interest in my sad life, I will get to it soon.

Scarlet-Blue said...

Pat: No.5 still makes my stomach turn. And I did something very sneaky to get out of it [I didn't pass it to another desk, btw!].

Rog: I am very slow today.

White Rabbit: Hello and Welcome! I'm sure a squirrel would fit quite comfortably on my head and not cause bruising.

Tony: Have you really done 2?!! And slammed the door completely shut so that it looks like you've chopped off your thumb? I thought I was the only twit to have done that. I nearly passed out. The woman sitting opposite did pass out.
3 & 5 are also rather unpleasant.

Savvy: I had trouble making this list... there are the obvious bad things... but overall it's good not to have too many of these kind of experiences, isn't it?

Mr Coppens: AARRRRRRRGGGGHHHHHHHH [and that isn't a pirate 'argh'] I AM NOT GINGER!!!!! I do pantomime. Okay. Is that so bad???????? Well, perhaps a little odd....

Mr XL: I think it's a jolly good idea to go back to the sluggy chat as Mr Coppens here has started casting aspersions.

Mr Coppens: A DEEP HEARTFELT APOLOGY would help.

Liam:You are still young though.


Scarlet-Blue said...

Kerrie: I suppose kangaroo costumes could be something for Ann Summers to think about. There is a demand.
Good luck with the list, I have a hunch it's going to be a corker!

Donn w/2 Ns said...

My Dearest Scarls,

I'm so sorry about hitting the "G" in "Gingervitis"

If you hadn't not brought it up I would have prolly forgotten all aboot it.
I don't even know what is wrong with being Gingerish?

In any instance,
I promise that I shan't ever-ever-ev-er make mention of it,
or make reference to,
or even insinuate,
your Gingervitis!

Please accept my apology, your friendship is far to valuable to me...
would a foot massage help to prove my sincerity?


mapstew said...

Herself recently told the kids about how I used to 'Dress Up' in the eighties!



Clyde said...

Oooh, you do like to play dress up--
We all love a girl who gets into character
Are there more ?
And what were you doing with that donkey ?

BEAST said...

No good ever came of dressing as Humpty Dumpty

BEAST said...

Was the missing number 3 dressing up as Ronald Mc Donald and not needing the wig ????

BEAST said...

Was the donkey a close personal friend ???

Gyppo Byard said...

Thanks for playing!

There is quite a frightening amount of dressing up in this list.

Not complaining, just asking you to post pictures....

Wordver: earmat. Something to put on a waxed floor...

Emerson Marks said...

Careful - donkeys are promiscuous beasts. What is wrong with being ginger, apart from looking like your pubes are made up of angry shredded wheat.

Scarlet-Blue said...

Mr Coppens: I go a bit silly when my feet are rubbed. But you can try.
Apology accepted!

Mr Maps: Ah, you're talking about a whole different kind of dressing up. Serious eighties dressing up... it's all coming back you know... this time next year we'll all be looking like Adam Ant.

Mr Clyde: I was teasing it with a carrot. So my own fault really.

Mr Beastie: *SLAP* I am NOT Mr Frobisher.

Mr Gyppo: Very happy to play along. Whenever I blog I dress up as Marilyn Monroe to help me get into the mood. Right now I am wearing my negligee and fluffy mules topped off with blonde acrylic wig.


Scarlet-Blue said...

Mr Marks: Hmmmm.... interesting that you seem know so much about ginger pubes?

:: Wendy :: said...

Ms S. I'm very pleased to see that the NHS, Local Council, your employer, husband and family are all missing from the list, unless the Donkey or Humpty are infact cunning is a euphamisms...

Kevin Musgrove said...

Dressing up, "teasing a donkey with a carrot" eh?

Don't tell me, you were young, you needed the money...

justsomethoughts... said...

the humpty epsiode sound awful and endless. but stood on by a donkey. sorry. that one gets first prize.

Scarlet-Blue said...

Wendy: Hmmmm... maybe you caught me out!

Kev: Sigh. I always need the money.

Mr Justsome: Hello and Welcome!
Other people like to dress up as donkies.


chimesey said...

51 comments! 'kinell! wish I was that popular... well done.

Scarlet-Blue said...

Mr Chimney: Hello and Welcome!
I'm a little bit slutty and I put myself about.

mapstew said...

This time NEXT year? Fuck, I'm WAY ahead of meself again!

(Wipes white stripes from face and puts three cornered hat back in box for twelve months!)

WV = 'notte'
Tell me 'bout it!

zIggI said...

do you have a 'dressing up box' - I always wanted one of those!

Scarlet-Blue said...

Mr Maps: I'm sure you can get away with any thing on stage... and I like the white stripe.

ZIggI: I do have several wigs... and a few frocks that I probably wouldn't wear outside the house... and a pair of bunny ears...


Kate said...

A lot of these seem to involve dressing up - love the blog

Kate x

Roses said...

When I was friends with art students I took my kit off. When I was an art student I kept my kit on.

Next time I'll try dressing up.

By the way, I've tagged you for a meme. Should I apologise in advance?

Scarlet-Blue said...

Kate: Thank you! I've dropped by and I like your blog too.

Roses: Thank you for the tag! It's a long'n though!


Mitzi said...

4)You were very lucky to survive, look what happened to Catherine the great when she attempted to mount a horse!
3)I hope there were plenty of dock leaves about.
10)I can sympathise with you there. I once used Sun-in hair lightening spray on dark brown hair and wept buckets when it reached that copper kettle colour look.

Anonymous said...

2) Slamming my thumb in a train door [an oddly queasy experience when you realise what is preventing you from taking your seat]


Honestly -- how many people can claim that they have flattened Mr Thumb to less than 1 cm wide once in their life time?!

The train was one of those old slammy door ones that no longer exist, the station New Cross Gate, the year -- er, um many many years ago.

Spent the next month with a mini splint type caster on the thumb while attempting to type with only 9 digits at work.

Scarlet-Blue said...

Mitzi: You keep catching me out by sneaking up behind me!! I used to be on the ball with new comments on older posts but I've got a bit slack of late. Anyhow, apologies.
Sun-In is a steep learning curve! We learn that it's always best to go to a professional.

Sharon: Hello and Welcome!
I must have bones made of steel. When I realised my thumb was slammed in the door I thought it was going to be severed off completely.... but I only suffered severe swelling and numbness. My thumb was very weak for about a fortnight. I had an X-ray - no break, - amazing.


savannah said...

my list is up, sugar, finally! xoxox