Monday, 25 January 2010

Bucking the Trend

What's all this then? I suppose I am the last one to find out about this? Apparently I am only worth B$288.88. Back in May 2009 I peaked at B$725.96. Why have I been so devalued? What did I do wrong? Did I not flash my knickers in the right direction? Did I not mention my bush enough? I have tried to claim my blog on Blogshares ....but they are having none of it and they seem to be having fun at my expense. I am being used as a mere commodity... a lump of meat... I feel quite hurt. But we all seem to be on there. Mr Beastie is worth B$5,412.11!!! Why am I so cheap???? How do I make my stock go up?
Perhaps I ought to ignore it. Probably only two people playing this daft fantasy game anyhow... mutter, mutter. And one of them is probably Mr Beastie...
I think I need a cheerful Youtube clip to see me through this turmoil.


Whirlochre said...

There's a whole world of difference between being cheap and being common, but somehow the stock market blurs the distinction.

Have you thought about drinking a gallon of Coke and floating yourself in the bath?

tony said...

I just checked my blog's "value".seems I own them $3.34..............!

Dave said...

I appear to be worth B$11,252.54 (under an old name of my blog - Rambling with Dave). I have slipped from over 3 million.

I think I'll cash in now, thanks.

BEAST said...

I am obviously an object of desire
My popularity is a curse
***waffles on for hours***

nick said...

Oh come now, you're worth whatever you THINK you're worth. Let's say £1,529,307. And if the bush is particularly luxuriant and the knickers personally endorsed by Madonna, then you can probably add on another £10,000 or so. Feeling better?

xl said...

Does the share price include the SMEG and bush?

Eryl Shields said...

I had a look and found I don't exist at all, not quite sure how I feel about that. X

Rog said...

Scarlet You're Worth It! You're a National Gallery ... I mean Treasure....

MJ said...

After viewing that clip, I am concerned about the safety of your country's streets.

I have canceled my flight.

wv: ducton

Isn't that a village in Dorset?

Anonymous said...

eek ... Numbers! MATH even ... put a warning on your links please. I refuse to click on such embarassing links.
Besides that I am glad to see you posting again!

dinahmow said...

Well, I'm still a bit cross with the banker-people who devalued my superannuation, but Cleese and Co. have helped. Ta.

Lulu LaBonne said...

I'd go along with Whirlochre's suggestion but think Rum needs to be substituted for the coke (or most of it)

Donnw/2nz said...

I have no idea how Blogshares actually works?
I do know that if you start caring about your value it will take a beating like a rented mule.
I'm pretty sure that it's just a bunch of cyberGeeks goofing off in one of their Mom's basement.

I once deleted my blogroll and all of my links and it skyrocketed..
and then it tanked???

"BS" as I refer to it, has nothing to do with anything tangible or real money so just ignore it.

Princess said...

Dear Scarlet,
It all seems a little strange to me.
As long as your bush is kept neat, and now that you have no reason at all to be "flashing" moist knickers in any direction, you have nothing to worry about. I would take Sir Don's advice and ignore the "BS"
Ps Mr Beastie probably has an over valued "Hedge" Fund

Pat said...

I'm # 1 on one list but haven't a clue what it means.

eroswings said...

You know, I thought there'd be more zombies on UK streets.

*Makes note to buy paper from the shops*

Your assets are priceless.

Macy said...

Scarlet! I don't know this blog index thingy, but it must be like the real stock market - subject to some periodic adjustments.

In other words think of yourself as a piece of prime real estate (gone down a bit lately) and this Beastie person as the Gas board...(gas going up lately, so to speak)

Hope this helps!

Scarlet Blue said...

Mr Whirly: Quite right. Audis and BMWs are common... but they're not cheap.
I will try floating myself in a bath of Champagne.

Tony: Count yourself lucky that nobody has launched a hostile takeover bid... you could have ended up as a subsidiary of Beastbite.

Dave: You'll be able to buy a big ring with that.

Mr Beastie: Hmmmm... You will have to explain your secret. I hazard a guess that it's something to do with your purple posing pouch. The one with the glittery spangles. And the peacock feathers.

Nick: I'm certainly worth a new pair of velveteen slingbacks. And a new chiffon negligee. With a pink ribbon detail.
Excuse me whilst I play my own fantasy wardrobe game...

Mr XL: Well exactly! The Smeg is worth a few bob! And pictures of the bush are sure to have value in certain markets.

Eryl: This is a bafflement... I can't understand why some of us are there and others are nowhere to be found. You are probably listed on a private exclusive market.

Rog: ...or possibly a local travesty... which is jolly good fun.

MJ: I thought the beginning of the clip looked very much like an ordinary day at Infomaniac!
Please don't cancel your flight. Mr Beastie has been preparing a spread for you and has been performing some challenging manoeuvres with finger food and CAKE.

Mr Mags: Apologies for the maths. I'm also confused by mathematical configurations and it has taken me sum time to calculate this post.

Dinah: I am livid with the bankers... and will be for some time. They deserve to be the butt of our jokes for the forseeable future.

Lulu: Crikey! If I drunk a galleon of rum I'd probably drown... maybe I'll skip the bath bit... and just let people lick.

Mr Coppens: Yep, I reckon it's a couple of cybergeeks too. But how did I get on there? This is what I'd like to know. And why won't they let me play with myself?

Missy Princess: As always, you bring great comfort to me. Mr Beastie's tropical delights are his biggest assets. And he single handedly keeps shares in lurex boyuant.

Pat: It's quite shocking really, that whilst we have been happily tapping away on our keyboards, others have been betting on our performance.

Mr Swings: You get used to the zombies. Just step over them - they're quite happy.
I should get my assets insured.

Macy: Even Mr Beastie sometimes goes down.


Dave said...

So I will. Any particular type of stone take your fancy?

KAZ said...

Oh dear - I'm coming between Betty and Geoff.
But where's MJ?
It's all bollocks isn't it?

Kevin Musgrove said...

My workplace hasn't driven me back to drink but that idea about the rum has me wavering...

(I don't understand any of this stuff: why is my price presented in cowrie shells?)

Grump said...

Cheered me up no end. Dear old monty and his python.
Woof x

Scarlet Blue said...

Dave: I do collect pebbles, if that's any help.

Kaz: Yep. It's complete bollocks.

Kev: I don't understand any of it either.
I tnink they're saying I'm passed my sell by date.

Grump: Actually, it cheered me up too.


Dave said...

So do I. And fossils. Would you like an amonite engagement ring?

Scarlet Blue said...

Dave: Good morning!